join me on this journey!

A Journey of Another Sort

2012-02-02T10:37:00.000-05:00

Because this is part of my journey, I wanted to announce one thing.
I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year in a new way.

I'm not exactly sure what he has planned, but it doesn't really matter at this point.
I'm not a big person on GIVING random gifts (i suck at the creativity needed and usually try to push some message, which isn't always helpful), so I enjoy the fact that there's a holiday coming up soon to be an excuse.

The "M" word has come up. Let's just throw that point out there. And for those of you who are thinking, "wait, hasn't it only been...?" Yes. You're correct, but I'm certain there are ways in which one just KNOWS. We don't KNOW yet, but there's something strange a-brewing (and it's not mulled wine because he's not a fan, which makes me so sad!)

Anyway, so how am I planning to celebrate?
I just purchased 4 books which had all come recommended in social circles for Christian dating. Let's be honest. Dating in a way that is holy and Biblical is HARD especially when both of us have had relationships in the past that were not this way. We need help and so this is my attempt at helping ourselves.

"10 Great Dates Before You Say 'I Do'"
"101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged"
"Devotions For Dating Couples: Building A Foundation For Spiritual Intimacy"
"Every Woman, Every Day: 365 Practical and Encouraging Readings for Sexual, Emotional, and Spiritual Purity (The Every Man Series)"

Yes, this is getting serious.

Obviously the last book is for me, but it is from a manly series. However, I hadn't had any personal recommendations of the man's series of it, so I thought I'd actually go look at a hard copy someday.

And no, I have not given up my dream and the journeys to which God has called me. That's something we're working through - what it would mean for both of us to realize ALL of our dreams. For now, each step we take together is a blessing with the understanding that God has allowed our paths to cross for a reason, whatever it may be... so our seat belts are buckled and we're enjoying the ride.

On Being a Fool

2011-10-11T21:44:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I tried to catch up with an old friend. We were good friends about a year ago and really helped with my transition time. As time passed on, we realized we had less and less in common and life took us down different paths.

As we caught up on what we've done in the past 8-10 months, I quickly realized that this was not going to end well.
Many negative comments came out on his side about my calling, my faith, my pursuits in life... and as I tried to control my tongue, I felt a sincere peace.

"I have heard the voice of God on NUMEROUS occasions telling me that this is where I will go and this is what I will do. It has been a dream for about 10 years now, you cannot deny the calling in that."

As soon as it came out of my mouth, the laughter started.

"Trazy, you are a FOOL!"

I hung up.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the most mature response. I'm first to admit that under severe anger, I'm not the most mature person. According to Freud (look at me using my education!), when I feel threatened, I am likely to use regression as my defense mechanism. I must work on that.

***

One thing I know for sure - I have never felt more peace about my future. I don't know how I'm going to get there. I don't know when I'm going to get there. I don't know many details that people seem to think determines whether or not it's a legitimate calling.

I DO know:
* I have never stopped hurting for the border area during the last 10 years.
* I want to be on the front lines - I don't want to carry a gun or join the military, but I want to be on the front lines for social injustices
* I want to minister to people by meeting a need and showing them my Jesus at the same time.
* I want to have open arms, an open home and an open heart in English AND Spanish
* I want to wear combat boots when I go to court (okay, this is silly, but it's sooo true!)
* I have heard God speak ALOUD at least three times about this subject, at times when I've least expected them.

If this makes me a fool, then I cannot wait to be an exhausted fool that falls down in worship at the feet of God as He tells me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

The journey is long and will be paved with trouble, but I know that Jesus overcame the world and now walks alongside me so that I too, through His Power, may overcome the trouble.

Uh... Can i get an AMEN?!

I have returned!

2011-08-30T17:15:00.000-04:00

I am back in Grand Rapids.
I am safe.
The rental car has been returned.
My stuff has been unpacked.
My laundry is clean and drying.
My memories are starting to get cataloged and pictures are being put in order.

This was an amazing trip.
Thank you for "traveling" with me :)

Change of Plans

2011-08-28T09:10:00.000-04:00

Note: This was written yesterday, but I never stopped for coffee like i said I would. Well, I stopped for coffee, just not at a restaurant.

*****

Today has been a very very busy day.
I started off at 6a from Junction, Texas and continued onward toward Houston. The highway I was on was going to take me south to San Antonio before headed east to Houston, so I hopped on a smaller highway. It was both the best and worst decision of the day. Best because I got to see a lot of "small town Texas" because it made me smile... Worst because in one of those small towns, there was a parade to celebrate their heritage and they closed down the highway and I got there right on time! Oh boy! :P
So, sadly, I arrived in Houston late, got a little lost through those awesome downtown highway systems and lots of traffic. I've decided that if I ever get asked how a city should be designed, I would have four major highways coming into the center - one from the north, south, east and west. If more highways would like to connect, then there can be a circle around the city that has lots of entrances and exits (think roundabout - only with more exits and on a much bigger scale). Anyway, I digress.
It was GREAT to see Kristina again and meet her son, even if it was just for a moment. We went out to a great restaurant and I had a VERY delicious chicken sandwich, made complete with crayons on the table (her son, Lennon, is 2) and some catching up with Kristina.
Then, I headed up to Granbury, Texas. On my way, as I drove through more small town, Texas, I called up the person I was staying with in Louisiana. Long story short: He needed to cancel. Thankfully I had a few hours to devise a plan B as I drove northward.
It was GREAT to see Mike and meet his family - it was fun to just sit on the porch and talk about nothing and everything. We went out to dinner and drove through his new home city. Then, after a little chilling, I crashed on his aunt and uncle's couch. I slept so well... until 4:30, when Mike left for work and I hit the road.

The new plans are still working themselves out, but I'm okay with all of them. So, the post tomorrow will be a mystery place. Yay for surprises!

*****

Remember when I talked about being able to see for miles in New Mexico? Well, I clocked it once and it was more than 10 miles. Aside from standing on the shore of Lake Michigan or being out on a mountain, I can't remember when I could ever see that far before... and this was just driving along.

It made those 10 miles pretty boring. I knew what was ahead. I knew there was going to be an upward climb and that the trucks would get caught up and I should probably be in the left lane. I knew that there were no service centers along that stretch and no police or broken-down cars or hitchhikers. I saw it all... before I really saw it. It was kinda weird.

There are so many moments in life that I wish I could see for miles. I wish I could see what's going to happen in the next 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks... or shoot, even 10 days. How boring would that REALLY be? If I knew I was going to die 10 years from now, I may do a lot of things, but I would spend the majority of my time thinking about my life and impending death instead of actually going out and living. If I knew what I was going to do and where I was going to go before it ever happened, it wouldn't be a very great life, really.

I'm thankful that that's not how life goes. That there's some unknown, some mystery, some chance for thrill... but as I drive today, i hope to think about and focus on these things:
How can I stop focusing so much on what the future is and start living day-to-day or minute-to-minute more?
When has life taken unexpected turns? Am I thankful for those times or do they cause separation?
In those hard times of unforeseen circumstances, how can I remember - first of all, God has got me - second of all, God has made this (Ecc. 714) - and third, there is a plan and I'm in it and this is in it, so embrace it?

Pieces of Me

2011-08-26T07:13:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to get tired. I'm so excited that the next two nights will be spent in the same place: Shreveport, Louisiana (where apparently there's not much going on!).

Yesterday I drove about 13 hours through Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. I feel like I've been in Texas forever and there's still 5 hours left before I get to Houston. Today I'll be headed to Houston to see Kristina, a college friend, and her son (unfortunately her husband will be at work). Then I'll be going up to Dallas for dinner with Mike, another college friend. Following dinner, I'll have a short 2 hour ride to Shreveport, LA to see a Chris, a coworker and friend.

Yesterday was a day filled with interesting moments. At one point, I swear there was a tornado in the distance. There was a lot of rain and there were many storms along the way. Then I was stopped outside El Paso by border patrol. And let's not even talk about snake-infested rest areas. That was actually the main reason I stopped - I could have probably kept going, but gas stations were VERY few and far between and I had to go to the bathroom :P

Well, I'm off to get dressed and ready for my day :)

*****

Yesterday, I got the experience of going through Oatman, AZ. If you've never been to Oatman and you're ever in Northwestern Arizona, I suggest checking it out. It's a tiny town on Route 66 that has all sorts of touristy shops, but also some entertaining live bank robber shows (complete with a shoot out) and wild mules walking around. I stopped to get some postcard stamps at their very small post office. In the post office, there was a sign that said "save our post office!" with the address for state officials trying to shut down the historic office. It made me sad to think that something so historic and so unique could just be discarded.

This, of course, got me thinking about histories and pasts. How quick are we to want to forget the past and move forward... yet there's usually something we should be holding onto and cherishing, even from the rough patches. It may not be the first thing we think about or even the most economical thing to do, but if we remember our past and look back on it with fondness, then there's much to be learned and cherished.

So, today, as I jump from town to town reuniting with friends from my past, my thoughts will be not only on the fact that I will be able to take a break from driving for an entire day tomorrow... but also on the fact that I have a past. I have a story, a history... and as much as I want to focus on the future, there's something wonderful about my past. It has shaped me into who I am. I don't want to dwell on it, but use it as a time of remembering what God has brought me through and how each piece has come to define who I am today.

The Importance of Family

2011-08-25T09:37:00.000-04:00

Buenos dias de Phoenix, Arizona! It's a beautiful morning and already at 6a, it's 95 degrees. woooo weee! bring it on, AZ, bring it on!

Yesterday was a HOT day in the southwestern US. I started off at 110 degrees and headed toward Nevada. On the way, I took old Route 66 through the mountains. I cannot BELIEVE trucks used to go through there before I-40. I was scared that my little car was going to go over the ledges! I stopped for a brief time in Oatman, AZ and met the local burros and wandered the old streets and took in a piece of history.
From there, I headed to Laughlin, Nevada, which reminded me of a miniature Las Vegas with a strip of casinos.
And... then I headed south to check out Needles, California. US-95 is a strange road and I can't wait to take this little trip with someone someday. Between that road and route 66, it was not a boring drive at all!
Then I hopped on I-10 and headed into Phoenix. I hit it right at rush hour and enjoyed some bumper-to-bumper traffic :D
And now I'm here - at my uncle's and aunt's home. I haven't seen them in 20 years. I haven't seen my cousin Chad since he was a baby and I'd never met my cousins, Kerason and Brooklyn. It was so great reuniting and sharing stories and reliving memories and just... well, being family!

Prayer Request: My left eye is sore. It's not red or swollen (yet), but I kinda need my eyes to be OPEN and GOOD to drive.

*****

Part of this trip's point was to reconnect with my family. It's hard to believe that I have two different family units in Arizona (who are not directly related - one from dad's side, one from mom's side) whom I've never visited before. It's harder to believe that no one from my immediate family has seen their homes. It was time.
There's a lot of people that come and go from our lives, but the people that will ALWAYS be there are family. Now, I know some families where that's not true and it's sad... but I think that even when push comes to shove, most families can even see beyond their differences if needed. It is so important to maintain our familiar relationships.
I haven't always been the best at it, but it's gotten better. As I think about the fact that there's a new baby coming into our family VERY SOON, I wonder how our family will grow and how much joy it will bring.
I also think about the fact that my grandfather is losing his memories and how much sadness that brings our family... while the other grandfather is celebrating his 90th birthday in a couple weeks.
I think about my own family relationships that have grown up quite a bit and how much I've matured in my outlook on family during the last few years.

My thoughts as I'm driving today:
Where does family fit in my life?
Do I let my family know how much I love them? How can I show them more?
(of course) Hey God! Do I get to start my OWN family someday?

Breathtaking, Amazing, Beautiful... Like a Dream

2011-08-24T12:46:00.000-04:00

You think I just looked in a mirror, don't you? :) haha!
Yesterday was amazing. After refueling on coffee and gas, I was headed to my grand destination: the GRAND CANYON!!!

It's just like the pictures. It's the most breath-taking sight I've ever seen. In fact, at my first vantage point, I teared up a bit. I couldn't believe the beauty, the grandeur, the serenity that filled me... just... WOW!

There was no cell service at the Grand Canyon, so for 5 hours, I was unreachable and undisturbed. It made the experience even more perfect, actually. I took lots of pictures, got a nice sunburn and emptied lots of bottles of water (I promise that I'm recycling!)

Upon leaving the Grand Canyon, there was a nice little rainstorm, but other than that, it was gorgeous weather. I couldn't have asked for anything better and the pictures will show that.

As I left and regained connectivity, I stopped and got a pie from Williams, Arizona (the town that the movie "Cars" is created to look like) because they supposedly have the best pie in Arizona and I was headed to my aunt's house for dinner. Then I began my 2 hour journey into the desert.

There are scorpions, rattlesnakes and tarantulas. There are cacti. There is a LOT of sand. There are desert bunnies and more cacti. HAHA! My aunt lives in a beautiful setting - in a valley surrounded by mountains.

Anyway, after a big meal with my aunt, her partner Teri and my cousin Todd, let me tell you: that pie WAS the best pie in Arizona. It was huge and delicious! So, if you're ever in Williams, AZ, stop at the Pine Country Restaurant and have a slice of (or a whole) pie!

Now I'm headed on a sightseeing tour of Arizona, Nevada and California and will return to Phoenix, AZ for dinner with another side of my family tonight :)

*****

I honestly have no thoughts except that the Grand Canyon was so beautiful, I couldn't help but praise Him all day yesterday.

Today, no matter what happens, I hope to remember how great, how wonderful, how AWESOME our God is and will be forevermore.

Rain On the Plain

2011-08-23T12:30:00.000-04:00

OMG I'M HERE!!!

I'm in Flagstaff, Arizona at a nice European cafe and bakery. This place is crazy cute. If I lived here, I would be here every day. Or at least once a week. It's like my Boba - cool, good coffee and unique. I love it!

Yesterday's travels took me through the remainder of Oklahoma. Oklahoma, mind you, is flat. It's a good thing I conquered that in the early morning because I would have been very bored in the evening.

In Texas, I encountered a couple things: MORE road construction... and rattlesnakes. I pull into a rest area (really, I just needed to pee!) and there's a sign that says "Beware of snakes" right as you enter. I almost turned around, but i had to GO! I pull in and next to my car is another sign that says "Danger: Rattlesnakes." I'm good, thanks. This city girl doesn't do snakes even when she was a country girl. Thankfully none crossed my path, but it makes for a good short story, eh?

Then I entered uncharted territory and said "Hello" to New Mexico for the first time. It's a BEAUTIFUL state, but also can be a bit boring as you're driving through all those ranches. There's nothing but brown grass and 2-foot-tall shrubs for miles! I stopped for dinner and treated myself to some Cracker Barrel while trying to stay awake.

I entered Arizona at around 7p local time (10p Michigan-time) and managed to make it all the way to Flagstaff. I was worried. It was a long day and I was very very very tired. My plan was to stay with a couchsurfer (for more information: couchsurfing.org). I pulled up to their home to discover no lights on. I gave the husband a call (my main contact) and turns out he had texted that they had an emergency, but he'd found me another couch. This is what I love about couchsurfers - there's never "no room." I ended up going to stay with his friend, Donnelly, who was delightful. Among moving boxes, 4 cats, 2 dogs and 3 people, she made the couch cozy and I SLEPT WELL. (Also, for all you couchsurfing skeptics - I'm still alive :P) She pointed me to 2 things: the best coffee in Flagstaff and the best pie in Arizona. I must admit, the coffee IS good. I'll let you know how the pie is later.

And now, I'm headed off to the Grand Canyon! Have a great day!

*****

Yesterday, there were a couple things that struck me. One was being able to see for miles (at one point, I could see for 10+ miles - i drove it from one landmark to another and watched my odometer). The other, because I was able to see for miles, was the storms. Some of the storms were quite powerful, producing lightning and heavy rain. However, as someone driving a ways off, they seemed small.

I couldn't help but think of the storms we experience in Michigan sometimes. They have heavy wind, lots of rain, lots of lightning and nearly constant thunder. Sometimes they knock out power. For those few moments, all we know are those storms. We get scared. We take shelter. We worry. Sometimes they last for hours and we wonder if they'll ever end.

In the same way, storms strike our lives and we experience a lot of those same things. Worst of all, these storms can cause us to lose our joy, our hope, and our faith.

Driving through that desert and seeing the small size of those storms made me think of how God sees my storms. I make such a big deal out of the trials and tribulations and yet, God is watching over. Is He thinking, "really, Trazy, it's almost over. See? There's the sun!"

My thoughts today, as I experience a beautiful day at the Grand Canyon:

What small storms have I turned into hurricanes?

What causes me to lose faith during those hard times and how can I see the sun on the other side?

How can I use my storms to BUILD my faith instead of losing it?

Step To the Ledge

2011-08-22T09:45:00.000-04:00

GOOD MORNING! from an Economy Inn in Oklahoma City, OK (where it's not very windy on the plain, actually...)

I got into OKC around 10p last night. I'm just on the eastern edge of it - the first set of cheap motels I saw and I turned in. I had several to choose from, so I went with the lowest advertised price with WIFI. I love shady motels. There's really nothing more entertaining than laying in bed and wondering if you'll end up with lice or fleas or bed bugs :P

Anyway, yesterday's drive was a looong one. I headed out after stopping back at the hotel (you know my main contact that wasn't answering his phone? he finally called back! Haha!) I got out of Indiana and into Illinois before I even made my first pit stop. As I got closer to St. Louis, Missouri, I loved seeing the arch mark its entrance to the west. I got so excited to go into "The West" that I almost ran into the car in front of me. Apparently traffic was backed up like woah.

The entrance into "the West" isn't very exciting when you're sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. In case anyone's traveling into St. Louis, there's major construction - be prepared. In fact, there's major construction happening in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Oklahoma. It's a good time :P

As I headed into the Ozarks, I stopped to take a break at the World's Largest Rocking Chair. Things like that make me smile.

Oklahoma has been a series of turnpikes, which is fast travel, but you gotta pay for it. I've coughed up $4 twice now and I think I'll have to do it again. Thank goodness I remembered to get some cash out just in case :P

Today, I'm headed as far as I can - with Flagstaff, AZ as my goal.

*****

Yesterday, as I was going up and down and around in the Ozarks, there was a moment of fear that struck me. The speed limit was 60 or 65, i can't remember. Whatever it was, I was going a little bit faster than that. I went around a curve and saw that there was quite a drop off the ledge. Not a big deal, it's the Ozarks, right? Well the kicker? There was NO GUARDRAIL! One mistake could have sent me over the edge and barreling down into the unknown. The only thing keeping me on the road was my responsible driving (maybe less responsible since I remember I was speeding just a bit) and faith that I was going to stay on the road.

How many times have a walked along the ledge of life, though? I'm not talking about taking a leap of faith of the edge into the great pool of promise that God has given us. I'm talking about the times when I push the limits. Those times that I go through life speeding just because I can. Those times I think "this is more fun than playing it safe" or "most people call it stupid or irresponsible, I call it adventurous" or "this will make me happy for the moment, I'll deal with consequences later"... etc.

I like to think I have guardrails set up, but in this last year, I realized that I'm not very good at setting them up. In fact, most of the time, they're beyond the ledge, like they're floating in the air with more than enough room for me to fall off the ledge and not even feel the guardrails.

So, my thoughts as I travel through two states I've never visited before (New Mexico and Arizona) are:

What are the specific guardrails that I need to set up in my life?
What ledges are NOT okay for me to walk along and why?
Why do I KEEP walking along or falling over those lines that should be defined so clearly?

No Room in the Inn

2011-08-21T10:22:00.000-04:00

Greetings from Denny's in Evansville, IN

at 1:15 last night, I rolled into this town. It wasn't exactly on my way, but going about 10 miles out of my way to go where I know somebody is worth it in my book. I made pretty good timing considering I didn't leave until after 7:30p from Zeeland, MI... AND I made a wrong turn!

Anyway, yesterday was grand. It was great to see the video of Jeff and Chelsea's wedding and to celebrate with them (they were married in Iowa, where Chelsea is from). Matt (yes, the one from Hungary) was there, too, and I never expected that one year after getting back from Budapest, we would be united for this purpose. So crazy!!! but God sure does have plans for each of us.

The travel from Zeeland, MI to Evansville, IN was purely purposeful. The goal was to just GET there and get Indiana out of the way. The roads were interesting and became less and less populated as the night went on, which made it interesting. I managed to avoid hitting a HUGE deer... and survived stopping for gas in the middle of nowhere (it was sketchy like woah!).

Then I arrived. My "people" in Evansville, IN are actually people from Detroit. A bunch of DIRECTV technicians are down here working. I have never met them, but as with many, many of the technicians I worked with, we developed good friendships over the phone. I had planned to meet up with at least one of them just chill for a minute. Unfortunately, I arrived and my contact person didn't answer the phone. I get in contact with another technician and met him outside and chatted a bit. Because everyone seemed to be asleep, I decided I would just see if there are any rooms available and make plans for breakfast in the morning instead. And... that's when I heard those words:

*****

"I'm sorry, there are no rooms available."
I felt a bit like Mary and Joseph. I'd traveled a long way (okay, I didn't walk or ride a donkey, but it was still tiring!) and when I arrived, I found myself without a safe place to stay for the night. I was faced with a decision - drive although tired from motel to motel searching for an empty room.... or crash in the car. Well, friends, yes, I slept in the car. I folded down my seats and sweated away some Zzzz's while listening to people come and go from the hotel.

What a perfect way to begin the trip!
A wanderer without a home - this has more and more become reality for me. I will probably never "own" a home - or at least never have a clear understanding of what "home" means.

So, what does "home" mean? I'm at a point in my life where I don't feel like I have a home. Geographically, I live in Grand Rapids; I work in Kentwood; I was raised in Saranac... but I have often made the comment that Ang and I just re-signed our lease, making this the longest I've lived in one place since 2006. That's 5 years of moving every year. That's 5 years of never having a sense of permanency. That's 5 years of wandering.
Emotionally, a home is a place where I feel unconditionally loved, accepted for who I am, a sense of belonging and purpose... and a place where I just fit in.

This Denny's is not my home. The waitstaff are great, but I have been frustrated by the comments from other patrons. I probably stink a bit (no showers in my car :P), my hair is a mess, and I came to breakfast with my laptop instead of my family. I don't fit in here...

... but then again, I don't feel like I've fit in anywhere for the last year. One job made me angry all the time... the other made me emotionally tired, even though I love it. I fell out of love with myself and made decisions that have hurt. I've put myself in situations that don't prove my self-worth. I'm not HOME.

So, my pondering for the day, as I finish this coffee, load up on gas and hit the road toward Oklahoma City...

"How do I accept the place where I am as home?
How do I create a HOME environment for myself?
And if where I am now isn't my home, where IS my home?"

Packing

2011-08-16T10:27:00.000-04:00

This is the longest trip I've packed for since Hungary. Thankfully I'm not leaving for a year, again, but there's still a lot of stuff to pack.

I have to think about personal hygiene and that brings up "where and when will i shower?"

I have to think about temperature and what I'll wear and that brings up "who will I see and where will I visit and what's appropriate?"

I have to think about entertainment and that brings up "how do I want to fill my mind as I journey?"

I have to think about money and that brings up "what do I limit myself on and where should i splurge?"

I have to think about food and snacks and beverages... and that brings up "how can i not gain 30lbs because i'll just be doing a whole lot of sitting and munching?"

I have to think about safety and making sure I have emergency stuff and that brings up "how can i make the most of this trip while doing my part to make sure that I am safe? I know God's got me in the palm of His hand, but I'd rather not be stupid :P"

I have to think about directions and maps and a GPS... and that brings up "how can i see everything while pacing myself?"

I'm so excited to finally be doing this. I remember when I first made the decision to go. I remember when the choice was between going to the Dominican Republic resort for Thanksgiving or going on this massive roadtrip. I remember when I first made my list and thought, I really want to see the Grand Canyon before I die... so why not now when I'm young? I remember making the decision to travel alone and how many disappointed people there were.
:)
I can't wait until this trip is a memory!

Massive Road Trip!!!

2011-08-15T18:09:00.002-04:00

Because I will be "On a Journey", I will post my blogs from my roadtrip on here. I'm super excited about it and can't wait for the plans to actually happen :D

August 20 - First stop is Zeeland, MI for Jeff and Chelsea Lampen's Michigan Wedding Reception.
The next stop is Evansville, Indiana to meet up with a couple of techs from Detroit who traveled there to do some work.

August 21 - The next stop will be Oklahoma City, Oklahoma to have dinner with Ann Marie, a girl whom I've never met but have communicated with for the last few years via livejournal and facebook.
I will probably crash somewhere in OKC for the night and get a good night's sleep before continuing on.

August 22 - The next stop will be Flagstaff, Arizona, where I will hopefully stay with some couchsurfers. I just got turned down by some couchsurfers, so hopefully I can find someone else.

August 23 - Drive about 2 hours, stop for a lemonade, and go sit at the Grand Canyon. I don't have anything planned except to just take in the scenery, see what my options are as far as tours, and rest. I have accomplished the goal for the journey if I make it this far.
In the late evening, I will travel on toward Kingman, Arizona, where my aunt lives.

August 24 - I will hang out with my aunt and her roommate/partner for a few hours, then hop in the car and head toward Phoenix, AZ. After a 4 hour journey into the city, I will re-meet my uncle, aunt and cousin... and meet for the first time a couple of my cousins. I am nervous about this, but I am also excited! It's time I acted like an adult and made time in my life for my family, near and far.

August 25 - I'll be headed out rather early to get to Dallas, TX. Mike moved here about 6 months ago and I miss him very much. I can't wait for him to show me around his new life and just... be with him and his family :)

August 26 - After dinner, I'll be headed to Shreveport, LA. This is where I'll meet Chris, a Multiband technician that I became friends with a long time ago. We've never met in person, so this will be a bit nerve-wracking, but also fun :)

August 27 - Today will be spent hanging out with Chris. He took the day off work and I'll probably be sleeping! :P It should be a nice, relaxing day. We'll probably even go see a movie that night :) Nice and chill...

August 28 - I'm taking off very early in the morning toward Chicago, IL. I hope to stop along the way and go to a random church. I am very much looking forward to those random church visits. My final destination is Emily's apartment in Chicago :)

August 29 - Homeward bound. :) The goal is to have the rental car cleaned and back at Enterprise by 2p.

Leaving Again... but only for 10 days :)

2011-08-09T09:38:00.000-04:00

I'm going on another solo journey. Please join me as I travel across the United States to see the Grand Canyon.
Along the way, there will be times of visiting with friends, meeting with new friends, reuniting with family after many many years and a chance to rediscover our nation and myself.

I'm really excited to leave on August 20th.
Please join me on THIS journey with the creation of a mixed CD - choose whatever music you'd like me to listen to and I will send you a postcard from the state in which you enlightened my journey :)

New Blog

2011-03-21T22:05:00.000-04:00

I'm starting a new blog.

I'm not sure what it's going to look like.

This is on top of my CHAOS blog (CHAOStastic.blogspot.com)... and my 101 in 1001 days list blog (livejournal.com/cotton_swabs)

This blog is going to stick around but be rendered "finished until further notice."
God has called me to stay put in Michigan for a while (more specifically: the Grand Rapids area) for school, work and relationship improvement.

While I continue to grow in these places, i hope to post each week some thoughts invoked by my new Bible study, as well as thoughts as I work toward peace in my life and in the world around me.

misstrazy.blogspot.com

Closing Thoughts ... (always subject to grow and mature)

2010-09-01T08:55:00.005-04:00

This is it. This is my last post in this blog (for at least a little while). If God sends me somewhere new, I will begin posting again. God is always sending me somewhere new, but I feel as though my adventures in Grand Rapids, MI can best be expressed in person since most of my readers have the opportunity to speak and connect with me here. One year ago today (September 1, 2009 at 2:55p local time), I landed in Budapest. Today (September 1, 2010 at 8:55a EST-ish), I begin working again at Home Acres Reformed Church... and attempt to resume the life I left although I'm not the same person.

My dearest friends and family, I THANK YOU. It seems so cliché to say that I couldn't have done it without you, but it's so completely true for me. A million "thank yous" could not express my sincerest gratitude. My true prayer is that God is blessing you in innumerable ways, for you have all blessed me. Thank you, again.

As a way of closing it out, i bring you a "De-briefing Survey." Enjoy!
What were the high points and the low points?
high points: Thanksgiving, New Years Eve, dancing at the Tanoda, Christmas at the Tanoda, Mohács, Auschwitz, couch-surfing, the city and its beauty, the Hungarian countryside, Bible study with some gypsy women in Uzd, hanging out with the other volunteers,
low points: the Tanoda closing, saying "goodbye"

Who most encouraged you on the trip?
from home: my mom gets major props, Home Acres Church, Shawn, Ang, Mike, Chris, Jay...
in Hungary: Dick and Carolyn, Pastor Aaron, Emese, Judit, Njeri, Teri, the other volunteers

Did you accomplish your goals?
I didn't go with any goals except to experience everything I could experience... and learn enough Hungarian to survive. In these ways, I think I did accomplish my goals.

What did God do?
God provided. God healed. God reigned. God guided. God held. God loved and lifted up. God showed Himself in unique and awesome ways.

What stories can you share?
I have 318 stories (that's how many days I lived in Hungary).

What pictures did you like best?
my absolute favorites are a mixture of the ones taken of Budapest from the Citadella... or the pictures of my friends/fellow volunteers and I on one of our many adventures.

Describe some of the relationships you made.
my roommates and I became (i think) like sisters - living together with four different cultures in an even different culture was a struggle at times, but we came to love each other in ways that only sisters can. I can't wait to see them again.
Emilie, Jeff, Kristy and Matt (and Sepp and Emily) became my closest friends.
Pastor Aaron became a mentor and friend.
Dick and Carolyn became like my "Hungarian" parents.
there were so many more relationships, all formed quickly and all very hard to leave.

What did you find most challenging?
My most challenging moments, as many of you could tell, came in the instability I experienced. Instability in social life, instability in work placements, instability in schedules, instability in maintaining contact with loved ones back home... stability has always been something I took for granted and finding peace during instability was definitely something that challenged me, but also forced me to grow a bit.

Were you well prepared? What else could you have done?
I tried to go in without a "map" of sorts. I didn't spend much time learning Hungarian before I left. I didn't spend much time researching my placement. I am thankful for both of those. I feel like all the Hungarian I learned before I went got stomped on during our language course... and my placement changed after only 2 months. I'm quite pleased with my lack of preparation for arrival, actually.

How are you doing physically?
Well, I miss walking everywhere. I miss 3 balanced meals a day and fresh fruits and veggies that were cheap. I miss loose jeans (i've gained back all the weight I lost during the year... grrr!) I smile a lot. I like that.

How are you doing emotionally?
It's been rough, not gonna lie. I'm not sure I understand how I feel so it's therefore hard to have others understand. There are days I'd rather just stay away from everyone to avoid questions and stress. There are other days when I need to be surrounded by people, because I am struggling at finding a place here again. Then I find myself in the middle of people, lost (in my "happy" place)... trying to figure out what is going on and where I go from here. My patience is short and I feel apathetic about much of my life at the moment.

How are you doing spiritually?
I feel like God and grew closer this last year. Trying to abide in Him and allowing Him to abide in me and truly shine. There are times when it was a test, but truly believe that my faith has grown to new levels... and I'm so excited to show this to others.

Did anything disappoint you about yourself?
Oh yeah. I'm pretty good at disappointing myself. I probably could have tried better to experience Hungarian culture/language/people. I probably could have tried harder with my placements to make them all work. I probably could have done more to make the youth group work. I probably could have enveloped myself in the "here and now" aspect of service. I probably could have done so much more...

What surprised you about the culture?
The strong dislike toward gypsies. I couldn't imagine it before I got there. I could NOT imagine that I would get hateful looks for just saying I work with them. I could not imagine people in 2010 with such prejudice.

What ministry skills did you sharpen?
I can make itty bitties smile and laugh... I can have a theological conversation with simplified English and simplified Hungarian... I can love people without words.

Did you find fulfillment in your ministry time?
I definitely felt like there were good days and bad days in this aspect. At some points, it's a source of disappointment for me and I wish I could go back and find fulfillment at those moments. At some points, I truly wish those had been the last moments of my life because each second of those moments felt God-ordained and God-designed and I felt as though I was truly a part of expanding the Kingdom.

What did you learn about ministry?
I learned that ministry, especially missions, is anything BUT a job description.

Did you experience any miracles in your ministry time?
Somehow I communicated, even though I didn't speak the language very well. To me, that was a miracle.

What comes next for you in life?
Well, I'm back in Michigan. I'm looking into options for going back to school. I would love for God to call me elsewhere, but if this was the only opportunity to go overseas, then I'm okay with that as well.

What do you hope to accomplish in the next year?
I want to get enrolled in school (so I'll have to make some decisions). I'd love to travel somewhere (probably Japan to visit Katharine and see her work there). I want to be able to actually play my guitar.

What is your plan to get there?
Gotta make the decision about school - gotta save money for the trip - gotta actually practice the guitar :)

What changes do you want to make to your life?
Health and simplicity are pretty big ones. They're also the hard ones to make. And... I don't want to live a mundane lifestyle.

What concerns do you have as you go back home?
Well, I am already back home and I've been home for 6 weeks. I'm still concerned about my general apathy toward things, but it's getting better.

Who can help you keep the flame alive back home?
My church family has rocked for that. I wish some of my friends would show more interest, but oh well. Most are pretty cool, but others seem like they'd rather not fan the flame.

What ministry will you continue to do in the community?
well, CHAOS... but I also feel like there are a TON of bridges to be built around our community. I'm rolling up my sleeves, let's get busy building!

Who will you reach out and minister to?
I feel like there's a huge cultural gap between our church and our community. I also feel like we could bridge the gaps between all the churches that use our church building. And... there's still so much work to be done with outreach. Sooo much need!

What can you do to go to the next level spiritually?
I'm sitting here thinking that this should be easy. This is just about me and Jesus going one step further. Question is: what is that next step? I don't know. Going to the next level spiritually will entail trusting Him and trusting IN Him completely... no doubts, no turning back, no regrets... one day at a time, one foot in front of the other... take each person and circumstance into loving consideration that God has ordained each moment, and from one moment to the next all we can do is trust and obey.

Picture-viewing / Speaking

2010-08-30T10:34:00.003-04:00

I am in the process of writing my final entry here, but I wanted to get a quick update out.

My pictures are organized and ready for perusing and story-telling. Many of you have stated an interest in this, please know I wasn't avoiding you... just getting things organized before I sit down with you. Please give me a call (616-328-3749) or email (trazylyn @ gmail.com) if you're interested.

Also, I am available to share my story with any group willing to listen. My only request is that (unless you are a previously supporting group) a donation of any size be made to continue the work in Hungary.

Things I miss...

2010-08-23T12:06:00.002-04:00

After being home for more than a month, I've started making mental lists of things I miss about life in Hungary. Enjoy.

* my roommates - i nearly cried at church in the morning as I realized that i don't know when I'll see them again, and they grew on me like little sisters...
* my city - walking out the door and seeing Parlament, along the river, the castle across the river, the islands, the public transport
* St. Columba's Church - the puppets, the social time (with CAFFEINATED coffee), the after-church meals that were always so yummy!, the leadership that genuinely asked how I was doing and accepted me into their family as though I'd been there forever
* speaking Hungarian. I miss this a lot more than I thought I would.
* soup at every lunch. vajkrém. slicing my own bread (that's not shaped like a square... and THICK pieces of soft, chewy goodness). ketchup chips. 3-in-1 instant coffee. espresso everywhere.
* public transport - in Budapest and throughout Europe in general. we tell people that we are an independent country, but yet I def. felt more independent while living in Europe. I understand that those are two different meanings of the word, but still... i can't help but put the two side-by-side.

*sigh*

someday I hope to go back, that's all I gotta say right now.

BREAKING (down while buying) BREAD

2010-08-08T13:50:00.002-04:00

So, I've had some days to do some reflection on this and I thought it was worth sharing with you all.

On Wednesday, August 4th, I went grocery shopping for myself and by myself for the first time since back in the US. Before I left, it was honestly one of my favorite things to do. When I was in Hungary, it was a great way to end my walk home everyday. On last Wednesday, it horrified me.

Not only did I need to plan out food for the next three days (I am back to working my customer service/dispatch job on Thursday, Friday and Saturday for 13 hours each day - so all three meals can be eaten during that time :P), but I needed to decide how to carry and store it all.

I did fine buying some healthy-ish frozen foods, fruit, crackers, and sandwich toppings. However, as I walked toward the bakery, I had one goal: bread. I stood there looking at the choices... and after 20 minutes, I was stressed out and still holding a basket without bread in it. I couldn't make this decision.

In Hungary, buying bread was a simple process. I either wanted 1/2 Kilo (1.1 lbs), 1 Kilo (2.2 lbs) or bagged "American style" bread. Aside from that, there were only 2 other choices: half-brown or white... and sliced or not sliced.
For me it was always an easy decision - if I wanted square sandwiches, I bought the "American style" bread and there was only one type of it. It came in a yellow wrapper and didn't squish when I put it in my basket. If I wanted real bread, I always bought a 1/2 kilo of half-brown bread. It wasn't difficult at all because once the decisions were made, there was only one option. On Wednesday, once I decided that I wanted brown bread that was already sliced, I still had 389,493,249 options.

...

Bread and food is mentioned a lot in scripture. It seems that much of the time when true relationships were being pursued/formed/matured, food was involved. It's not surprising when you think about today's society - we love to meet up for breakfast or lunch or dinner... or coffee ;) Food just seems to invite conversation. I am very much looking forward to sharing times with people these next couple weeks. If you're at all interested in hearing about my year or asking questions on a personal level, let me know. We can break some bread and share stories together someday :)

Hungarian Food and an Update

2010-08-03T08:29:00.002-04:00

Today I'm making a Hungarian dish for a 4-H international dinner. It's Cabbage Pasta and about the easiest thing ever to make for a huge crowd. If you don't have anything to do, stop by the Ionia High School tonight from 5-7p. It's a donation for entrance, and all donations go toward Heifer International. HELP THE 4-H KIDS BUY A COW!!!

In other news, I start working on Thursday. I was invited back to my old job at Multiband. It's not exactly what I want to do with my life, but it's good hours, I'm familiar with the place/people/job and it comes with insurance in a few months. I would LOVE to have my Saturdays free, so I'm still keeping my options open.

Also, Ang and I are looking at apartments. I am hoping to call one of the landlords tonight and tell him "we'll take it!" Just waiting until a reasonable hour (since I think 8:40 is waaay too early to call anyone).

...

Looking back on my year, I was thinking about ways that I grew... and someone asked what skills I could take back to my job. For Multiband, I bring back Hungarian because it's in high demand (just kidding!). For youth work, I bring back the knowledge of cross-culture ministry and the experience of working with teens in Hungary who were Hungarian and many other nationalities. Also, some bridging the cultural gap experience working with the American teens that came and the Hungarian/Iraqi/Kosovo(an?) teens that helped at the Day camp.

I also picked up some experience working with elementary kids (at the school and tanoda) and even PRE-PRESCHOOL! Woah! That's crazy coming from someone who's only changed one diaper in her life :P
And, I taught English. This could be extremely useful in the future, including helping me realize that I might like to take a few TESOL courses when I'm back in school.

And... many of you may have heard my dream: to have a place in an area that's doing cross-cultural ministry that welcomes groups on a regular basis (like a remodeled church or retreat center). The original dream was to do this along the USA/Mexico border, but this year has even expanded this :) Well, not only did I get a lot of experience hosting individuals, I even hosted a work team (not in my apartment, but in Budapest) from Ohio. One step closer, friends... one step closer.

Life since I've been home...

2010-07-23T14:55:00.002-04:00

trazy lyn richter.
you have been a true gift from god this year. thank you for the place you have had in my life. sitting at your kitchen table talking about whatever was necessary, countless nights spent in your flat, multiple trips to the airport, a tour guide for budapest, so many things this year will stick with me even as i go from here. my life has been better because you are in it and i hope that you know (both in your head and in your heart) that whenever you are anywhere near me, you will have somewhere to sleep and something to eat.

as you go "home" you will be in my prayers. i don't know what you came here with and how you've changed, but i do know (some of) what you have. you have love. love for others and for god's creation. you have the gift of generous hospitality for all who come to your door looking for a place to lay their heads and some food to eat. you also have a way with words. though it may be hard to articulate exactly how you feel, what you experience, you are able to articulate a LOT in ways that can help others understand and provoke them to deeper thinking.

thank you. please come to chicago some time. don't forget to breathe. don't ever be sorry for crying; it's about the most honest thing you can do.
god's peace and blessings,
šťastnu cestu,
emily

*~*~*

I'm sorry. I've been home since July 15th. The circumstances regarding my return were all kept secret for various reasons and if I offended any of you by not disclosing details, I am sorry.
Our flights were good and despite a little delay at Chicago O'Hare, we were home in good spirits though tired. Families met us at the airport and then some most wonderful friends were waiting at Wendy's to welcome me home. Thank you to Taco Bell for providing me delicious goodness en route back to my parents' house.

July 16th was the wedding. The beautiful Jane James and handsome Nick Claus were married that evening. I wasn't supposed to be able to make it. Nick and Jane's mom knew that I was coming, but all details were kept secret to Jane. I do believe she had absolutely NO idea and the joy that came from this surprise is soemthing I pray I'll never forget. Mad props to Mike for taking the time to be my "date" and allow me to crash on his couch that night.

July 17th was cell phone shopping and other random errands. This last year, I've been using a cell phone from the 1800's. I have a touch screen now !? which means I will probably "pocket dial" you all at some point. And, since I can't find my old phone, I'm in the process of inputting everyone's number as they call me. So, why don't you text me with your name so that I can get your number?

July 18th was a quiet Sunday. I did nothing. It was good.

July 19th was high speed internet and coffee at an Ionia café. It was nice to do some things that require the high speed finally (my parents have dial-up!). Because my mother was there with a 4-H Group, it involved saying "hello" to many of her friends which is a good step toward how my end of July will be overwhelmed. We also came home and had AMERICAN BURGERS (that don't involve a box or wrapper of any sort!) Afterwards, we participated in a clean-up for the 4-H buildings that will be needed at the Ionia Free Fair.

July 20th was a fairly quiet day filled with farmers' market, meat market and visiting my brother and sister-in-law.

July 21st was a job interview and then helping with the judging of the 4-H stuff at the Ionia Free Fair. It was fun and interesting to be on the other side of things.

Yesterday was a completely LAZY day. I don't think I changed out of my pajamas until dinner time just because I had nothing to do and no way to get anywhere on my own. Being here, in Saranac, without a car and without a way to get anywhere without my mom is driving me nuts. In Budapest, I ran my schedule - I did things on my own terms. Here, I can't. I'm stuck here with nothing to do but sit on dial-up internet and wait for friends who end up ditching plans. Ughi.

Today I'm finally able to access some high speed internet and get some things done, but i'm still not on my own time. My mom's sitting across from me and will be there waiting for me until I'm ready to go.

Okay. Sorry this sounds like a rant... and it is. After living in a city of over 3 million people, I've been jailed in a village with less than 2,000.

must. get. out.

Tomorrow we begin our road trip.
Baldwin, MI to see my grandfather and great aunt.
Then up to Northern Wisconsin to see my sister and the Otterness'.
A break from village life will be good, but I am also looking forward to Thursday, when I will be back into a life that's FAR more my thing.

In other news, this blog will end on September 1st and then I'll figure out the next step. I like the idea of having a themed blog, so maybe I will take some suggestions from you in the meantime. Let me know if you have any ideas. Cheers, mates!

I'm Home.

2010-07-22T00:00:00.006-04:00

Dear friends and family,

I am writing this post to signify that I am home.
After being gone for nearly 11 months, God has safely brought me back to my base camp, back to MY ground zero, back to my roots and my family... back to Saranac, Michigan, USA.

If you'd like to contact me, please email trazylyn@gmail.com or call (616) 328.3749

Through good and bad, this year has changed me. Looking back on this year, I am reminded of the traditional wedding vow:

to have and to hold from this day forward

from this day, I begin holding onto my experiences in a new way. While being away, I could only hold onto them in the present and look at them as a flashlight allows us to look at only one part of a dark room. Now that I've come out from this year, I hope to start turning on more lights and start realizing what it was that God taught me this year.

for better, for worse

it's easy to think things are better on the other side of the ocean. For 11 months, I often found myself thinking I would be doing so much better at this if I were back home. Now, I will be telling myself that I would be doing so much better if I were back in Hungary. Comparisons are inevitable at times, but very very unfair.

for richer, for poorer

In Hungary, it was often thought that I was just another "rich American" on vacation. Now, I go back to my life as a "rich American." I will be living in a society where it's not just normal for a family to have ONE car, but to have one car for EACH PERSON over 16 years old. I know what it's like to ATTEMPT a simple lifestyle in a city that seems far from simple. I've seen real riches and real poverty in both a financial sense, but also in a mental/emotional sense.

in sickness and in health

My mother will agree that this was the year for sickness for me. I never seemed to get used to Hungarian air. Between migraines, head-colds and tooth infection, there were moments when I wondered how I could survive for a whole year with only using maybe HALF of a bottle of aspirin prior to this year... but looking back, there were no real injuries or major health issues that couldn't be dealt with on a local level.

to love and to cherish

I truly believe this year has been one to love and to cherish. Each moment that I spent on the balcony chatting with Silvia, each pajama party with Silke, each chance to meet with the other volunteers... each placement's kids and the smiles they brought to my face or the smiles I brought to their faces...St. Columba's Church and the family they provide for those without family... each Hungarian that impacted my life - the ÖDE office, Judit (the language teacher), each foundation director, the ex-volunteers and the future volunteers... each memory will be one of fondness and love.

till death us do part

I pray that this year stays in my memory until God calls me home, where I will surely meet some of these people again.

Thank you, Hungary.

Part 10 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-21T00:00:00.001-04:00

Go easy on yourself and go easy on me.

Understand that reverse culture shock is not an exact science and it manifests itself different in every person.

Expect good days and bad days. It was the same when I got here and had complete culture shock - even in my last months, I was surprised to still experience culture shock.

Don't be afraid to ask for help (even pharmaceutical) if necessary. Don't be shocked if I ask for help.

Pray.

Laugh.

Cry.

This too shall pass and in the end, we'll all be better for it :)

***

1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Péter 5:7 - Minden gondotokat õ reá vessétek, mert néki gondja van reátok.

Part 9 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-20T00:00:00.002-04:00

Perhaps you had hopes, dreams, and aspirations for me that were interrupted by my year of service. I know that I had hopes, dreams and aspirations that were, seemingly, interrupted by this year.

Well, toss those things in the trash. A large percentage of people returning from a year of mission work will make significant changes to their long-term goals and plans. I haven't QUITE decided what that route is, but I'm in the process of figuring it all out.

For me, I realized that I could very easily see myself working in missions for a long-term goal, but not just in Latin America. I can't rule out Europe anymore. I have had a fire reignited for bridging gaps between people groups, no matter where they are located on our beautiful Earth.
Also, I've realized a spiritual gift: hospitality. I LOVED hosting people here in Budapest and taking them through my city as well as teaching them about my various positions here and the work going on. I've also made the decision that I WILL return to school, although time and place are still very undecided. I will pursue education in Ministry and Teaching English as a Foreign Language.

Regardless of what I decide to do from here, rejoice! This year hasn't changed WHO I am; it has simply made me better at discerning God's call on my life :)

***

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

2 Korintusi 12:9 - És ezt mondá nékem: Elég néked az én kegyelmem; mert az én erõm erõtlenség által végeztetik el. Nagy örömest dicsekeszem azért az én erõtelenségeimmel, hogy a Krisztus ereje lakozzék én bennem.

Part 8 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-19T00:00:00.002-04:00

Even though I've been living in a capital city that's very westernized, I've still had to live rather simply.

Don't take it personally if I seem horrified at certain aspects of "American" life - showers every day, getting in the car to drive to the corner store, or buying a new laptop instead of patching the broken one back together with tape... yeah, my laptop is being held together by tape. Now, if only I could get it working again! :P

Recognize that there are certain things you could and should change, but also that adjusting to what may now feel incredibly extravagant will simply take awhile. I hope to make permanent changes toward a simpler lifestyle. Recognize this as a good thing :)

***

Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Máté 11:28-30 - Jõjjetek én hozzám mindnyájan, a kik megfáradtatok és megterheltettetek, és én megnyugosztlak titeket. Vegyétek föl magatokra az én igámat, és tanuljátok meg tõlem, hogy én szelid és alázatos szívû vagyok: és nyugalmat találtok a ti lelkeiteknek. Mert az én igám gyönyörûséges, és az én terhem könnyû.

Dear God, give me rest today. This is the first Monday in a long time that I've had nothing to do. Help me to just BE and reflect on the past year.

Part 7 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-18T00:00:00.001-04:00

Please tell me stories about your year as well. You'll need to speak up and be assertive because we'll both think that my experiences are more exciting than yours, but it's NOT true!

Things have happened on both sides of the ocean. People have lost jobs and gotten jobs. People have gotten married or engaged or broken off a relationship. People are having babies or adopting puppies. People got promoted or went back to school or graduated or dropped out.

These things are just as important as my experiences, so please don't feel like I don't want to hear them. Even though I may be excited to talk about my year, I also want to hear about yours. Don't be shy!

***

Luke 18:27 - Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."

Lukács 18:27 - Õ pedig monda: A mi embereknél lehetetlen, lehetséges az Istennél.

Dear God, my future is unknown. It's so unknown that You witnessed my sleepless nights, my nervous nausea and my tear-filled prayers. Teach me Your ways and help me to trust that You hold me in the palm of Your hand and You have plans for my life. Help me to remember that You are the conqueror of the "impossible." You showed this to me by bringing me over $12,000 during a terrible recession. Help me to continue to see the impossible things that only You have made possible.

Part 6 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-17T00:00:00.002-04:00

At least half the things that come out of my mouth in the next few months will begin with "In Hungary..." This will probably start to annoy the crap out of you after a couple weeks (Sorry, Mom, you gotta put up with me!)

I'm going to apologize right now...

I'M SORRY.

Just... don't tell me it's annoying. It will prove to be far less effective than listening and asking INTERESTED questions. And if I've already told you this, stop me and tell me. I'm sure there will be some other silly story that I can pull out instead :D

The faster I run out of stories, the faster you get off the hook, right?

***

Galatians 6:10 - Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Galatákhoz 6:10 - Annakokáért míg idõnk van, cselekedjünk jót mindenekkel, kiváltképen pedig a mi hitünknek cselédeivel.

Dear God, sometimes I have been unkind this last year. Sometimes I have been cranky or angry or selfish. Sometimes I have been hurtful through words or deeds. Please forgive me for those moments, help me to forgive myself, and help those whom I hurt to also forgive me. Mold my heart, Lord, to make it more like Yours. Help me to do good and be loving toward all people, just as You are.

Part 5 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-16T00:00:00.002-04:00

I have over taken over 1000 pictures of my year.

Please ask to see my pictures because I took them all for a reason, but also know that I plan on printing 200 of them. I don't know if you've ever sat and looked through 200 pictures that aren't your own, but I promise you that you probably don't want to do that.
I'll get frustrated because if I'm only printing 1/5 of my pictures, I'm only picking the best ones. You'll get frustrated because it will take an entire day to go through them because each one will tell a story.

My suggestion is to scan through my blog and Facebook - there are different pictures in each place (or just look at one of them and that way you don't see ALL of my pictures) or set up several coffee dates.
You know I love coffee and if you want to hear the good stories, this will be the best way to do it. We can go through as many as we can in any amount of time and then next time, we'll start where we left off.

Or ask to see pictures of a certain time during my year. Christmas, Easter, my birthday, other volunteers, my work places, my church family here, my apartment, etc.

***

Ephesians 2:10 - For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Efézusiakhoz 2:10 - Mert az Õ alkotása vagyunk, teremtetvén [Általa] a Krisztus Jézusban jó cselekedetekre, a melyeket elõre elkészített az Isten, hogy azokban járjunk.

Dear God, everything I did that was good this year was prepared in advance by You. Everything that I will do in the future that is good will be prepared by You. These good works aren't always easy or full of recognition, but they are the reason that You created me. You made me to do good deeds. Don't let me forget this. Don't let me lose sight of that purpose. Open my eyes and allow me to SEE the good works You prepared for me, that I did through You, this past year. Ease my mind about the future, knowing that You have already prepared my path.

Part 4 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-15T00:00:00.004-04:00

I packed one time for a 5 day trip in just my backpack. I'm not talking hiking backpack. No, my orange backpack that I had at home - it's your standard size padded (for a laptop) backpack.

I fit everything I needed in there and managed to find room for three books and a Bible. Granted there was no towel and I use a crap-ton of hair products when I feel like doing my hair... but still.
Most people say they could do it. Go try. I'll wait.

You probably only fit 5 days of undergarments, all your toiletries, your pajamas and either one or two outfits depending on what you chose. Now grab 4 books. Yeah, take out one of the outfits if you've got two in there...
No, there won't be a washing machine. Yeah, go grab that extra deodorant.

See where I'm going with this?

I'm looking at the jeans I'm wearing and I know I did the sniff test this morning, but I can't remember when I last washed them. I promise I'm wearing clean underwear and socks, but I really can't promise that my shirt's clean.

I brought waaay too many clothes to Hungary. I'm starting to look at what I brought and thinking... "why?" Anything I haven't worn yet - is there any point? There are some things that I brought that I realized I'll never wear because I'm not in any sort of professional position - that suit coat, for instance. I've only worn one of the two dresses and one of the three skirts - there just wasn't any reason to really dress up. BUT it would have sucked if I got here and didn't have dress up clothes if teachers dressed up like they do in Japan (remember, that WAS my original job description).

Luckily, I got rid of most of my clothes before coming here... but I'm really curious why I still have what I left there. What DID I leave at home? If I don't remember it, why am I keeping it?

At any rate, I'm coming home with less clothes than I brought...
I'll probably never consider a dryer a necessity again...
and I'm probably in the mood for rewearing jeans until they stand up on their own, then wearing them ONE MORE TIME before I wash them.

***

Romans 16:19 - Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.

Rómaiakhoz 16:19 - Mert a ti engedelmességetek mindenekhez eljutott. Örülök azért rajtatok; de akarom, hogy bölcsek legyetek a jóban, ártatlanok pedig a rosszban.

Dear God, this year was a year of growing - spiritually, mentally, and well... around the hips. As I prepare my heart for my return, there are some things that I have walked away from that were evil in my life. By removing me from the situation, walking away was easy. When I return, Lord, help me not to fall into those ways again. Help me to remain innocent and also wise through the good that You have shown me. Do not stop revealing Yourself and Your Goodness to me.

Part 3 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-14T00:00:00.003-04:00

Expect some feelings of jealousy and resentment.

These will come from both sides - from me and from you.

From me - While I was stripped away from all those close to me, all of you remained and only lost me. While I can claim to be a huge part of your lives, I know the reality is that I am only a small part. You moved on with your lives and I will be trying to find my place in it as I return. I expect this to be one of the most difficult parts of my re-entry because as much as I want things to go back to the way they were before I left, I know that they won't ever be completely the same.

From you - The relationships that I formed were formed quickly and deeply. The fact that I will talk non-stop about my friends from Hungary doesn't mean that I don't love you, too. It simply means that I am in mourning - mourning the loss of those meaningful relationships that helped me survive this last year. For some of them, I realize that I will probably never see them again, even in Paradise. In this regard, I ask you to treat me as you would treat anyone in mourning.

***

Exodus 3:2-4 - There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. 3 So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up." When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am."

2 Mózes 3:2-4 - És megjelenék néki az Úr angyala tûznek lángjában egy csipkebokor közepébõl, és látá, hogy ímé a csipkebokor ég vala; de a csipkebokor meg nem emésztetik vala. S monda Mózes: Oda megyek, hogy lássam e nagy csudát, miért nem ég el a csipkebokor. És látá az Úr, hogy oda méne megnézni, és szólítá õt Isten a csipkebokorból, mondván: Mózes, Mózes. Ez pedig monda: Ímhol vagyok.

Dear God,
You have shown Yourself in many ways. To Moses, You appeared as a burning bush. To me, You have appeared in the faces of Hungarians, Roma, refugees and many others. Thank You for appearing to me. Thank You for calling my name. Thank You for giving me the strength, support and desire to say "Here I am." Father, as I continue to follow You, continue to appear to me. Help to keep looking for You. Continue to call my name so that I may answer You and follow You.

Part 2 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-13T00:00:00.004-04:00

I haven't watched real television in the last year. I haven't gone to the movies. I haven't gone to a mall (even though shopping would have been a cultural experience of its own).

Living in Budapest means I did a lot of the same things that most people living in the city would do in the US, but I did them differently.

Please - spend time with me.
Be assertive and invite me to hang out (because I'm going to assume that if you don't invite me, I'd be imposing), but let me take the lead on where we go and what we do. There will be things I've missed (Taco Bell and Boba Latte) and want to do... and things I just can't handle.

Going to Meijer or Walmart would be one of those things. For a year, I haven't really gone to a one-stop supermarket unless you count the two Tesco visits and it was only in their food section for the church lunch.

There will also be things that I did here that I probably won't want to do again (getting receipts for reimbursements, which can be a long process)...
and things that I've done here that I wish I could do more of when I return to Michigan (night walks, fresh bread)...

Let me take the lead and don't probe with questions the entire time :) Time is the most valuable thing to me at the moment.

***

Hebrews 10:24 - And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Zsidókhoz 10:24 - És ügyeljünk egymásra, a szeretetre és jó cselekedetekre való felbuzdulás végett...

Dear God,
I pray that my time here was able to be used to move other peoples' hearts. Hearts in the USA. Hearts in Hungary. Hearts in Slovakia, UK, Germany, Poland, Ukraine, Romania, Mexico, Thailand, Japan, Turkey, Israel, France, Italy, Canada... and any other countries I have had contact with this last year.
I pray that my year was indeed a year of love and good deeds, that the seeds I have sown may grow and come to bear fruit.
I pray that as I return to the USA, you will guide my heart, my mind and my steps to continue to love others and do good deeds. I also pray that you allow me to spur others to follow Your calling on their lives.

Part 1 of 10 --- Re-entry Preparation

2010-07-12T00:00:00.002-04:00

Over the next 10 days, I will fly back home. The specifics of when I fly have not been made public, in fact, I want to urge those of you who DO know to please not make this information known. Reverse culture shock is very real and I certainly would appreciate time spent alone with my family and re-acquainting myself with being back in Michigan.

I can say in all honesty that I am NOT home now. After these next 10 posts, you will see a post that tells you that I am home and if you wish to call, you will find a phone number where you can call or text me.

*~*~*

The next 10 blog posts are taken from a list posted here. Andrea is the coordinator for ELCA's Young Adults in Global Missions in Mexico. Matt, Emilie, Kristy, Sepp, Lisa and Emily are all YAGMs in Hungary and Slovakia and while the post was made for them, it also applies to my year. In the next 10 posts, I will take each topic and expand on it a bit toward my specific re-entry.

*~*~*

DON'T ask the question, "So, how was it?"

It's simply not possible to sum up the entire year in one word or even one paragraph. In fact, the best way to describe the year would be "try it someday if you get the chance. you'll see..."

For those of you that have followed my blog, you've followed a huge range of emotions. You've also followed a huge range of experiences. You've even followed my many excessively worded blogs only to come to no conclusion about what life here is really like.

Ask me specific questions.
"What did you do in your free time?"
"Who did you find yourself confiding in?"
"What was the food like?"
"Where did you travel?"

Ask about seasons or holidays or specific moments in history... (I had just left Poland the day the Polish president died! Can't forget that memory!)

or, since I won't update on my last days here, ask about those. Ask about the big bash right before I left. Ask about the flights home.

Concrete questions with concrete answers are what I'll be able to properly answer without having a swarm of emotions flooding through me all leading to different conclusions.

a poll and highlights

2010-07-10T03:53:00.002-04:00

well, kids - it's about that time - time to ask the question that all bloggers ask at some point in their blog: To continue or not to continue.
I am thinking that my blog will continue through August 1st, but I am debating a few questions:
a) do I continue the blog or start a new one?
b) what will I write about? I don't really know my next adventure yet, so I don't want to take up your time with a blog about, well, nothing :P
c) what will you want to read about?

if you could take a few moments and post a comment on my blog, that'd be great - I'd love to know your thoughts.

***

highlights from my last week:
(running the St. Columba's Church Day Camp 2010)

* 55 kids from 10 different countries
* 20+ leaders and helpers from 7 different countries
* American style coffee every morning
* being awake at 7a and being already on my way by 7:30 - it made me feel like I was actually doing something (believe me, I WAS doing something!)
* translating :)
* complete understanding of all the kids (in English and Hungarian)
* leading "Te Vagy a Mindenem" (All In All) singing every morning
* games that went well - human foosball was a HIT! (emberi csò-csò)
* leading small group lessons in English and even using my Hungarian (although Marika's translating was also a highlight - she was my GIRL!)
* getting to know Marika
* the Vorosmarty School lunches and the joy that the lunch break brought
* laughing at the thought of actually trying to do hard crafts with kids that don't understand the leaders (bead buddies weren't exactly a FAIL, but they probably won't ever be repeated)
* teaching kids how to play "Spoons"
* Photo Scavenger Hunt (although I never participated, the pictures were CUTE!)
* hugs every morning and every afternoon
* laughter
* smiling faces

* falling asleep each night with some sense of accomplishment and peace - which is more than I could say for most of my year

Days Go By...

2010-07-08T15:18:00.002-04:00

... and still I think of You.

I've been the busiest in the last week than I've been all year. I don't think I've slept past 7a since July 1st and golly gee, I can't wait for Saturday, when I can sleep in again!

So now you're all asking the question: "What have you been doing?"

Well, on July 1st, a work team from Ohio arrived in Budapest and putting aside some of my own selfish desires (like sleep!), I chose to be Miss Budapest for them. Every evening has been some adventure or another, whether it's a super walk through the city or an evening "hike" or just a stop at a grocery store so that they can spend a quiet night in. Tonight is actually the first night that we didn't leave the church together. It was weird to walk out by myself and turn the opposite direction that they did.

next question: "Why were y'all at church?"

Well, this week is a DAY CAMP at the church. This is an "English Language Day Camp" which basically means that all of the adults speak English, and while the goal would be to do the camp in English, there's a lot of translating happening and a lot of blank stares when we read Bible stories. At least I can relate to the kids after having experienced an entire year like that :P

There's only one day left and I remain hopeful that we'll end it well. With 60 kids, 20 adults and 7 hours to fill each day... it can get a little long. I am praying that we make it through the last 7 hours and have a blast (and some sadness) saying "goodbye!" The kids have really been great with only silly minor things that we forever nitpick at because we crazy adults expect kids to be perfect. Each day, when some of them come in and greet me with a smile and hug, it makes me feel more useful than I've felt all year.

So funny, I often find myself laughing and thinking "I have worked more in the last 2 weeks than I have the entire year combined..." and I love it. The feeling of hard work and crashing on the pillow at the end of the day (with a happy sigh) is the sign of a servant and a job well done.

The Final Month

2010-07-01T17:34:00.002-04:00

well... the countdown has started.
Today I bought my last monthly pass... and rode my last real train (metro doesn't count).

As much as I'm looking forward to going home, I'm going to miss a lot of things.

* Budapest transportation and my mastering of it.
* Hungarian transportation and the ability to go from one tiny village to another tiny village across the country completely without bothering friends for rides.
* Hungarian language. As much as I hated it to begin with, I am falling in love with it more and more each day. KOMOLYAN! (SERIOUSLY!)
* colorful money and being about to know how much money i have just by looking at the colors of the bills.
* carrying around thousands of forints and having it not be enough to go grocery shopping or buy a monthly ticket.
* the happiness and sadness that comes from sweet lunches.
* soup every day
* Turo Rudis
* seeing the Hungarian Parliament every time I leave my flat
* saying the word "flat" instead of "apartment"
* Castles
* Roman ruins
* greeting and saying goodbye with kisses
* wishing a good meal to each person you see eating
* half price
* jumping from an Italian keyboard to a German keyboard to a Hungarian keyboard to an American keyboard within one day in computer land
* having a courtyard
* being only a few hours away from other countries
* Surprising Hungarians with my amazing Hungarian pronunciation
* wine in a castle overlooking such a beautiful city

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord

2010-06-30T17:23:00.003-04:00

i got hit with a pretty big rock today as I spent my remaining savings on some dental work.

I heard it said once that "We make plans and God laughs."
I made plans.
I made plans to go back to Saranac, spend time with family and friends, travel with my mom and just... take time be.
I made plans to return to Home Acres and Grand Rapids on August 1st. While working 25 hours each week, I would also be searching for another job.
I made plans to couchsurf my way through Grand Rapids because I'm going back extremely broke and won't be able to find housing right away, but thank goodness I have a job because I'll be able to use that money to find housing in September.
I made plans to start doing some "back to school" stuff with the kids, have leadership meetings, dig into what's been done this last year and learn from it while trying to maintain continuity.
I made plans to find a place with Ang starting the end of August and be roommates with her.
I made plans.

Today, if God is laughing, I'm not joining Him.

I need a job.

hey - I have a joke! Hey Michigan, anyone hiring?

Matthew 20:28

2010-06-28T10:37:00.002-04:00

... just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Máté 20,28
Valamint az embernek Fia nem azért jött, hogy néki szolgáljanak, hanem hogy õ szolgáljon, és adja az õ életét váltságul sokakért.

...

I have been spending a lot of time in quiet, meditating on Scripture in my spare time. Tomorrow begins another leg of my service here and I'm looking forward to it, but I'm going to miss these very special "God times."

I'm beginning to make preparations for where I'll be staying in August and I am pleased to announce that I'll be couchsurfing in my home city! So excited to meet other couchsurfers and get to know new people in this time of transition. I'm also excited to crash on some of my friends' couches or in their spare rooms. I could probably do this for two months, but I think I'll stick to just one and hope for permanent housing in the beginning of September.

I have a few prayer requests for you in these final weeks:

a) moments of joy with those I'll miss so much - Silke, Silvia, Matt, Timothee, Janos, Janos, Zoltan, Evelyn, Jozsi, Emese, Aaron, Njeri, Judit... and many more.
b) peace of mind about each item I pack, ease for the process, and the ability to part with things that don't need to be brought back
c) a smooth week of camp - that it is fruitful, fun and full of God's abounding love
d) a rockin' time with the group from Ohio
e) readiness - to go, to come, to serve, to hold on, to trust, to obey, and to be

Let's... do this.

2010-06-26T06:34:00.002-04:00

Jeff and I lead the morning reflection today.
A brief look at the things going on in my mind without much explanation because I haven't been given much.

-

I have a heart for:
* teenagers/young people
* un mundo sin fronteras / egy határok nélküli világ / a world without borders
* providing a place for others
* loving those in poverty/homelessness

-

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiás 29,11 - Mert én tudom az én gondolatimat, a melyeket én felõletek gondolok, azt mondja az Úr; békességnek és nem háborúságnak gondolata, hogy kivánatos véget adjak néktek.

-

Ephesians 2:10 - For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Efézusiakhoz 2,10 - Mert az Õ alkotása vagyunk, teremtetvén [Általa] a Krisztus Jézusban jó cselekedetekre, a melyeket elõre elkészített az Isten, hogy azokban járjunk.

-

Ecclesiastes 7:14 - When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

Prédikátor 7,14 - A jó szerencsének idején élj a jóval; a gonosz szerencsének idején pedig jusson eszedbe, hogy ezt is, épen úgy, mint azt, Isten szerzette, a végre, hogy az ember semmit [abból] eszébe ne vegyen, [a mi] reá következik.

-

What's next, God?

Above All

2010-06-23T16:10:00.000-04:00

When have I felt it was important for me to be here?

This was the opening question for our final seminar... and I had no answer, no story to tell at the time. I bided my time as much as I could until I was the last one to share a story. As Kristy urged me to share something, I shared the story of how Alen had been so interested in my work... and how the numbers of Hungarians NOT wanting to do volunteer work with gypsies had surprised me.

But, it stirred something in me. I can be so negative toward the year and can be rather quick to point out times when I was unhappy, or things that could/should/would have gone better, or even times when I disappointed even myself. But to take a moment and think of when it was important for me to be here... that's something I haven't done much of.

-English classes
Sadly, this was an endeavor that I only started to embark on later in the year. However, being one of the few native English volunteers hosted with ODE in Budapest, it wasn't just something that I felt I SHOULD do, it became the only thing that I wanted to do each week. I found myself looking forward to my lessons and the thought of ending them was something that came rather sadly to me.

-St. Columba's
I really wish that I could have given my heart and soul to this congregation as I have with my home congregation in Michigan. However, between travels and work and illness, my attendance to Sunday morning services has been sparse in the last couple months. Unfortunately, we were still unsuccessful in getting a youth group off the ground, but I did make some contacts with some teens and hopefully the few moments we spent together were still moments of great impact.

-office
Again, as one of the few native English speakers in Budapest, there was something that I was asked to do that was something that started as an "I SHOULD do" but became something I looked forward to doing. I had the unique honor of inviting all the incoming volunteers that aren't native Hungarian speakers to their placements for next year. I also got to help with some of the interviews and the processes involved in hosting and sending volunteers. It was a great chance to see the innerworkings of such an organization. It was also nice because what took me 5 minutes to write would have taken anyone else in the office 30 minutes (at least) because of the non-native translation struggle, so it helped in making me feel needed.

-flat
As much as I don't ever want to admit what I'm about to admit, I will. I enjoyed feeling needed in the flat. This was the first time Silke and Silvia had really LIVED away from home. This is the first time they were responsible for things like making sure that there's always some toilet paper or clean dishes. Also, they both had/have to take English exams before going to university and by practicing with me, they're going to totally ACE them :) w00t!

-letting go and holding on
It was important for me to be here, because it was important for me to learn how to do this. Life is a balance of doing both these things. However, even as I may have faltered in doing these things along the way, I also know that I matured in this matter.

-personal
It was important for me to grow in personal ways. For me to be here, I was further removed from people/lifestyle choices/surroundings that inhibited my previous opportunities for growth... and enabled through the circumstances of the year. This will probably even be revealed more as I get back to the states. I just pray that I don't easily fall away from the strength I've found in the last year.

-hospitality
I have discovered a new spiritual gift. As I actually said in the Tuesday morning chat which brought up the question, "I had a really hard time finding a place this year, so I set out to make sure that others could find a place." I LOVED opening my apartment, my life, my time, my expertise and anything else I could offer to those who were stopping in Budapest for a night or a week. Other volunteers or Couchsurfers or friends of friends... it didn't matter. The joy of re-experiencing Budapest through them renewed my love of the city each time. I don't think I could ever grow tired of washing sheets or making sack lunches for travelers and I have realized that this enjoyment can sooo be used to further the Kingdom.

-tea lady
Sometimes if things aren't currently affecting me, I tend to forget until someone brings them up. This was the case on Tuesday morning, until a fellow volunteer helped me to remember this moment in the year. I want to preface this with a statement: I am a coffee drinker, NOT a tea drinker. I never drank much tea before coming here. However, one cold winter day at the Tanoda, the boys asked me if I could make a tea. I start to go get one of the other teachers and realize quickly that it would be silly for me to do that when I could just make it myself. So Krisztian, one of the boys, follows me into the kitchen and tells me to boil water, take 2 tea bags, a LOT of sugar and a little lemon and put it into the pitcher. I do all this and make the tea. When it's finished, I bring it to the boys who exclaim with sincere smiles that it's the BEST TEA they've ever had and that from now on, I need to make the tea for the Tanoda. This is how I became known as the "Tea Lady."

-

I'm leaving one blank because you never know what might come up later as somewhere I found importance in retrospect... but I'm already amazed at how long the list is now. Looking back with a quick glance, I don't see these things at all. It was so good to reflect on them :)

Mail

2010-06-21T04:14:00.002-04:00

Also, another note:

You have until Thursday (June 24) to send anything else that you want to send.
Please don't send any mail after this date - keep it until you see me again.

Packing

2010-06-21T03:53:00.003-04:00

I don't know how many of you remember the last month before I left for Hungary, but in case you missed it, it was filled with things like:
Goodwill trips, Freecycle giveaways, Craigslist sales, trips of stuff to my parents' house, and the slow process of weeding out stuff that I needed and stuff I didn't need... and packing into boxes for storage and suitcases for the year.

Well, friends, I am happy to announce that the process has begun again.
This last week, I set my boots outside, office supplies and some other random things down by the trash cans. Basically, it's acceptable here to put things you don't want by the trash. Anyone in the building picks through it (Kristy and I even went dumpster diving when someone was getting rid of a bunch of vintage clothing in May!). Then, when the trash is pulled out to the street, it's pulled too and the night routes (homeless or really poor people) pick through it before the trucks dispose of it. There aren't any Goodwills here and I just haven't the time and energy to go to the shelters and explain that there are some donations. It's easier to just put it out and let someone pick it up.
Also, I set down there a bunch of money that I've picked up throughout the year. Polish zlotys and British pounds (idk how I got these actually) that don't add up to any grand amount, but the change places don't accept coins... so, what am I going to do with them. With any luck, by the time I would ever go back to those places, they will be on the Euro or, to be honest, I probably won't go back to Poland... and it's silly to transport money. So, maybe somebody in the building is going to one of these places and could use it. Both of my roommates even got 10 Euro cents because Germany and Italy are both on the Euro (€).

I have also started packing. My GIANT suitcase is almost full. Throw in a few more clothes and it'll be ready to weigh. I'm hoping that the group from Ohio is bringing some suitcases that they won't want to take back and I'll be able to gank one of them to get the rest of my stuff home. I'm still faced with the issue about the saxophone, but I decided that I'm just going to wait and see.

What does this mean? Well it means that I'm starting to also pack myself. Starting to figure out my life when I get back (where to live, where to work, school?, other commitments?). Starting to think about presentations at churches. Starting to figure out where the next path leads. Slowly but surely, I'm starting to transition back to my home. Not transitioning back to my "old life" because that would defeat the purpose of the entire year, but back to a place that will always be HOME home. Plus, so much has changed, I don't think life CAN go back to the way it was.
Anyway, in the midst of all this, I'm realizing that I still have a month HERE. I am still expected to work and there's the group from Ohio and the day camp at the church. It's been a little crazy planning these things, so it'll be nice once they start... but I also know that once the day camp starts, I will have NO time to myself. NONE. But I'm totally looking forward to it :)

PS - Seminar/retreat until the 27th (I'll be back on Sunday afternoon)

János 1,14

2010-06-19T15:11:00.002-04:00

És az Íge testté lett és lakozék mi közöttünk (és láttuk az õ dicsõségét, mint az Atya egyszülöttjének dicsõségét), a ki teljes vala kegyelemmel és igazsággal.

John 1:14
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

The WORD became FLESH -
I've been working my way through the Bible chapter by chapter. I'll be honest, I haven't gotten as far as I'd like for 2 reasons. One is that sometimes I'm lazy. The second is that sometimes it takes 2 or 3 readings to really grasp what the chapter is trying to tell me. Even with a devotional Bible, it's hard to discern what God is teaching me through His words. What would it mean if each of those verses became flesh - became REAL, tangible things. I can look in a store once to know what I can buy and can't buy (even now in Hungary) because I can see, touch and smell what they are. If I could see, touch, smell, taste or hear the words of Bible, how much more could I learn from it! But it DID become flesh. it DID and it became something i can grasp. it DID and now my job is to carry out that flesh to those who cannot grasp it.

We have see His GLORY, the glory of the ONE and ONLY -
IT happened. the moment I've been waiting for... the discussion in Hungarian about why I believe God exists. First question "Where is God?" There are so many textbook answers to that, it was easy to throw one out there. "God is not in Africa. He has forgotten them." I think my missionary friends in Zambia or Sudan can attest otherwise, but I heard him out. Explaining the problem that "God's heart is in Africa, but OUR hearts are not" was a little more difficult, but I think I got it. This young boy (17 years old) hasn't been to Africa and he has been taught not to care about others above himself - the ways the world has taught him. Trying to explain in my less-than-fluent Hungarian was a struggle, and I'm not sure I made much of an impression on my own beliefs. I believe that some of God's most amazing glory can be seen in some of the financially impoverished places. I have seen those with nothing raise their hands in worship. I have seen those without homes cry while receiving the elements of the Lord's Supper. I have seen the beaten and abused, persecuted, disabled, and weary teach others about the joy they hold in their hearts.

full of GRACE and TRUTH -
grace is a funny thing because it's something that doesn't exactly come naturally to humans. To freely give favor and love upon someone is extremely hard in this world. I used to think I had it down. Love everyone. Yet here, in some of my darkest struggles, I find myself unable to give love to some. If they're not going to receive it the way I think it should be received, then why bother? (Anyone else hear that alarm sounding?) NO. That's not grace. And truth - it's not so funny because we often shy away from it. I have found myself taking the "easy way out" in many instances when it was harder to express what I thought was truth. If I was the only one who believed a certain thing, shut up and tolerate. If the conversation was in Hungarian and I didn't really know how to express myself, agree and move on. (these silly alarms are driving me nuts!) NO. I kick myself again and again because they're things I notice so often in hindsight and yet, they repetually come up.

Lord, let me grasp Your words, Your flesh so that in the next instance, I can be a beacon of Your Glory and display Your grace and Your truth. Amen.

Big Pictures

2010-06-18T17:50:00.003-04:00

There are big things happening in Europe right now.

1) Flooding. It has rained a LOT in the last two months. The Danube has flooded out roads, entire islands, villamos (electric trams/above-ground subways) and even the metros. People have started sand bagging in NE Hungary. I saw yesterday the results of flooding and traintracks... and how the water just wiped away the built up part under the track, leaving a funny picture... picture the ground and then three feet above, picture the iron tracks and wood planks suspended until they can rest on the built up rocks again in a place the water DIDN'T wash it away. I had pictures... but they're on my computer and it's currently inaccessible. Not gone forever, just temporarily inaccessible.

2) VB - világbajnokság... aka the World Cup. I know that many of you Americans have no idea that this is even happening, so allow me to enlighten you for a few minutes. This is the biggest sports related event in the world (NOT the Superbowl or World Series or Indy 500 as we've come to believe in Smalltown, USA). It's even bigger than the Olympics (check out the viewer ratings 4 years ago!) The World Cup takes place every 4 years and this year, it's in South Africa. Here's what's funny: If you're a place of business with a television in Hungary, then you are playing every single game of the World Cup. There's even a giant screen set up in a park not far from my apartment!
Sadly, Hungary wasn't in the final 32 teams that are chosen to play, but you'd never know it by the number of people at each of these games. So far, I've had three memorable games.
--- #1 - USA vs. England - I watched this in a bedroom at camp with Gyuri, a "crazy gypsy man" as he calls himself. Watching it in Hungarian, in the dark, with a guy that kept jumping up to fix the antennae that were working just fine... only to constantly adjust to a terrible spot and then readjust to the exact place they were in the first time.
--- #2 - Germany vs. Australia - Memorable as I watched it with Simon, my German friend in a restaurant in Hungary.
--- #3 - USA vs. Slovenia - As I went back to Budapest for a few days, I got a phone call from Matt about meeting up. Apparently some major showdown was happening at 3p and I should be there. We decided to meet at our favorite American food joint: Burger King. Over a cheeseburger and iced coffee, we watched a silent tv play the game. I think about how sad Matt is at this moment (he's such a soccer fan, he has an official US jersey!) because he actually had the option of going to South Africa for his year... and the volunteers in South Africa have gone to/are going to at least one game. However, I know he thinks that watching it with his favorite person from Saranac, MI in his favorite Burger King in Hungary has got to be a close second, right?

Anyway - keep watching, kids!
Two of the following teams can advance and of course, the two with most points.
Right now it's:
Slovenia - 4
England - 2
USA - 2
Algeria - 1

USA will play Algeria on Wed., June 23. Don't miss it because I'm HOPING that USA will come back from today's sad performance and pull ahead of England.
For that to happen, the USA has to win. If they win, they're in no matter what. If they tie, as long as Englad ties or loses, they're fine. If they lose... well, we won't talk about that. k?

RIP

2010-06-16T17:08:00.001-04:00

My computer died today.

(insert LONG moment of silence)

*sigh*
life is funny.

Házamegyek Budapestre (I'm going home to Budapest)

2010-06-16T06:19:00.004-04:00

After working hard, long days at the camp... and having some long, hot days of relaxation... I'm going back to Budapest, probably tonight.
I have a crap ton of laundry to do and I woke up to a bedroom filled with water after the night's storms.
Tomorrow, I have another adventure to Gönc, but that's a discussion for another day.

The camp is officially open with currently 11 kids here. On Sunday, 70 more will come (which is a roundabout figure, since we were told there'd be 30 in this group :P) There's still a lot of work that could/should be done, but no one seems really worried about it. Emilie, Livia and Simon are here now and I know that even if they're not excited about being here, they are hard workers.

And I'm looking forward to going back to Budapest for now.

*~*~*

Just a couple pictures for you today.

These are some signs around the Jewish Quarter. This first one says (allow me to translate) that this was the former gate to the ghetto, until the Soviets freed them on January 18, 1945.

"Whoever saves a life is considered as to have saved the entire world." - Talmud
This plaque is placed near a memorial for Carl Lutz, a Swiss man who saved thousands of Jews by getting them fake Swiss passports and paperwork.

A Community...

2010-06-14T12:08:00.000-04:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what makes a community, where and how do we find community, how we maintain community, what happens when we're taken from our community and how communities respond to struggle.
It's a lot to handle, but especially here at the camp, I tend to work on things alone - not exactly community-driven, but sanity driven.

What makes a community? Sometimes a community is a geographical base. Balatonlelle, and all the people that don't want the camp here, is a community. Sometimes a community is likeminded people, brought together by a similar cause/goal/hobby/interest/etc. All of the volunteers with ÖDÉ have formed a community - a piece of my heart jumped today when I saw Simon walking down the path toward me because I hadn't seen him since March and we're part of the same community. A community can also be formed by circumstances. I hate to say this, but even in my short jail time, I witnessed community. I found myself bargaining with my bunkmate for some coffee if I promised to put a couple dollars in her account when I left. As crazy as it sounds, I bonded with a few people in there and was a little sad to leave, wondering what would be next for them.

Where and how do we find community? This isn't always as easy as it sounds. I may be a part of the Saranac community, but I never really feel like I fit in there. I may have several communities here in Hungary, but haven't exactly found many that I'll be sad to leave in a couple months. This takes planning. What do I like to do? How do I find a group with those same interests? Are there other volunteers here doing this for the same reason I'm doing this? That's probably why I've bonded with the other Americans so well - not only do we have the common language, but we also all seem to have a semi-common purpose, which is very different from those of the "fresh outta high school Europeans."

How do we maintain community? Sometimes you can leave your best friend and not speak for a few weeks... and pick up exactly where you left off. This is a manifestation of the incredible bond you've developed because you've WORKED for it. Community doesn't just happen - you need to get involved in other peoples' lives - because you're willing to make that step, others will also be willing to make that step. If someone asks me where I'm from, I have two choices "Amerika" or "Michigan, egy állam Amerikai" - if I go with my first option, it's easier, but unless they ask "Where in America?" I could be from Florida or Alaska and they wouldn't know the difference (or God forbid, Kentucky :P jk!) If I go with the second, it opens me up to a little more - first that I speak a little Hungarian, second that I'm aware that if I say "Michigan" they might not know where it is, much like if they said "Pécs" or "Debrecen", most of you get blank looks until they say "a city in Hungary."
Anyway, long story short, you have to make a choice to maintain community. You need to be more proactive than you expect others to be in order to show your openness.

What happens when we're taken from our community? I feel like this is the question most people can relate to - in the fact that we don't even realize the great communities we have until we're removed from them for some reason. Many of you may have even witnessed this in my year. If we don't build a community where we are, we know that we never have to worry about this... but for those of us who long for that sense of community, this is simply not possible. We need to mourn, but we also need to move on and seek to build new communities in each new path God puts us on.

How do communities respond to struggle? This one, as I've witnessed, varies by community and struggle. True communities come together and work through it as a team, knowing that in the end, everyone will benefit. Many communities, when faced with a particular struggle, will disband or divide themselves. I've never seen an instance where this has benefited everyone involved. If someone in your community is facing a rough season, you help them. Community in the best sense is like karma - give when others need and when you need, you'll get.

*~*~*

Memorial Garden at the Dohány St. Synagogue

Behind the largest synagogue in Europe is a memorial garden set aside for those who perished during the Holocaust. It is said that Hungarian Jews account 1 out of every 6 people murdered in Auschwitz and 1 out of 10 people to die during the Holocaust (about 600,000 Hungarian Jews were lost during this time).

This is a memorial to Raoul Wallenberg and other "Righteous Among the Nations," including Carl Lutz, Giorgio Perlasca, Angelo Rotto and others who used fake passports and paperwork to save tens of thousands of Hungarian Jews during World War II. They are memorialized by a fake grave. Wallenberg was arrested in 1945 and detained in the Soviet Union, where he later died, but details regarding his death (dates and cause) are still disputed today.

It is a Jewish tradition to place a stone on the grave of one who passed. Unfortunately, these are graves that will never be dug because they are bodies that were never recovered. Instead, stones are placed in these boxes to remember and carry on the tradition.

This is also a memorial and a beautiful colorful one. The snake you can see in the picture represents the Nazis and the consuming fire represents the Holocaust.

This is the entrance to the former Jewish Ghetto of World War 2. Conditions were terrible in the ghetto and many died. However, because no one was allowed in or out, they needed a place to bury those that passed. Here are 27 mass graves and it is estimated that a total of 3000 people are buried here, all of whom died in the ghetto within the 18 months of confinement. Those whose names were remembered had a gravestone placed and the death year is always the same: 1945.

This is the Memorial of the Hungarian Jewish Martyrs. Made by Imre Varga, it resembles a weeping willow whose leaves bear inscriptions with the names of victims.

"In memory of our mother and grandmother who perished in Auschwitz."

"So our children will never forget."

counting down the days

2010-06-11T19:08:00.006-04:00

One month from today, I will start my re-entry preparation posts. NO this doesn't mean I'm coming home in a month - it just means I'm going to start preparing you (and me) for my re-entry. You shouldn't be too surprised to hear that these have already been written and scheduled. I'm still me, eh? :P

I want to encourage you to do 2 things:
a) subscribe to my blog so that you get daily updates during that time period. this is VERY important for my friends, family and supporting churches. They may be some of the most informative and thought-provoking posts I've made. Each time *I* read them, i have to sit and meditate. It's for my preparation as well as yours. I promise that receiving me back home won't be as easy as everyone wants.
b) tell others that may not be reading this to subscribe. it's really easy - there's a box on the side where you put in your email address and it will automatically send you updates.

In other news, slightly related - I am loving this 2-3 hour "siesta time" after lunch! :)
Oh, AND the mandatory soccer breaks every day - yesterday it was for South Africa and Mexico... today we're going to watch USA vs. UK - weee!

*~*~*

A visit to The Dohány St. Synagogue - the world's second largest synagogue and the largest one in Europe. (the biggest one is in NYC and is only bigger in size, not capacity) aka - one of the biggest tourist traps in Budapest.

The outside. The cost: 2000ft (or $10) - includes the synagogue, memorial garden and museum. everything except the museum can be viewed (some sneakily) from the outside... oh well. it was something I wanted to do, so I grabbed a few couchsurfers and we headed out. We paid a few hundred more forint (400) for a tour, which was worth it because there's not much written in Hebrew, Hungarian OR English about the history of the synagogue. So, it's worth it in two ways - I learned... and now you will learn :) Aren't you lucky?!

The synagogue was built (a long time ago - can't remember the years) by Christians, so it doesn't look like most synagogues, but it was built with the original temple (the one Paul wrote about that was destroyed in 70AD) in mind. See the numbered pews? People could actually purchase a pew seat for themselves, or as gifts, or for their heirs.

The Torah scrolls are back there. They survived the war (when Nazis destroyed most other Torahs) because Catholic priests took them and buried them in a Catholic cemetary. After the war, they were returned when the restoring process began. This, of course, was all done anonymously and the synagogue remains forever grateful to those priests.
Also note the organ: because there is an organ, you can automatically assume it's not an Orthodox synagogue because they are strongly against anyone (Jewish or not) working on Sundays (including organ tuners and players). Even this branch of Judaism believes that Jews shouldn't work on Sundays, and so a gentile plays the organ for them every Sunday.

This prayer rug was in the museum and I found it really interesting. I don't think I'd like to pray on a rug with animals dying all around me.

in the next couple posts, I'll show you the memorial garden and some other sights around the Jewish Quarter...

Sometimes we question our world... and get answers the next day

2010-06-10T02:49:00.003-04:00

So, you know how I wrote about the feeling of not working?
Well, actually before I even posted it I got the answer. I just couldn't bring myself to delete the whole post.

Reason people didn't want to work? They weren't seeing any signs of getting paid.
In fact, as I sit here tonight, there are only 5 of us at the camp now. Me, Ricsi (volunteers)... Tibi (paid staff who HAS gotten his paycheck)... Mama, Gyürika (the 'grandma' and '8 year old grandson' team who are making sure they wish us a good night about 10 times. :P

the young people I was hoping to learn more from and hang out with? gone.
the 3 and 5 year old girls who didn't care whether I spoke Hungarian or gibberish, as long as I gave them hugs and let them sit by me at dinner, i was cool? gone.
apparently word got around that the Roma Self-Government wasn't going to pay them and they didn't want to work for free. So, the Roma Camp, in turn, told them that they couldn't just stay here for free... and so they left.

There are many things which transpired over the course of a couple hours that caused me to think:
a) why?! the camp needs to be fixed up and it cannot be done by Tibi completely. If Ricsi and I weren't here, what would happen? What is the Roma self-goverment thinking? If they really want a camp, this is NOT a good way to start.
b) I saw them pack up their stuff and one has to wonder what's next for them. You see, I brought three bags of stuff (plus a purse) for three weeks. I'm not sure how long they planned on staying, but the family packed up winter coats. Is this the only place they had for the time? Do they have no home, no job, NOTHING to go to? I was watching them pack up EVERYTHING they own and couldn't help but be sad that this was a really frustrating moment in their lives...
c) there's no way we're going to get all the work done now. Awesome. Oh well... Frustration, annoyance and apathy hit at about the same time, which was a very strange sensation.

*~*~*

Random pictures...

excuse me, sir. what IS this instrument? and is the face necessary to make it play?

just a random house in the Jewish Quarter that I think is cute

Hello, Budapest :)

technological injuries
I told you about my camera yesterday.
Today, I want to introduce you to my sad looking computer.
Let's start at the top. Yes, that's tape holding in the power cord. It's not duct tape, but if I were in the US, it would be. Not sure what happened except that one day I noticed it was plugged in and not registering a charge. hmmm...
I'm missing a control key. Also not sure what happened there. One day, while talking to my mom actually, I wanted to copy something and hit control and it came with my finger. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the phone call distracted and trying to put it back on. Sorry, mom!
then you see the bottom corner... My computer tried to commit suicide by jumping off the desk. Srsly. Maybe i pushed it, maybe not. The world will never know. :P

Balatonlellen vagyok.

2010-06-09T05:46:00.004-04:00

So... i've found internet to steal from my cabin. Awesome! Not sure how reliable it is, but it's good for now. I have been here for two days now and while I see some progress, it's been interesting for me to be a part of this.

First of all, it's a family affair. I'm here with Emese's husband's ex-wife's mother (haha!), her other daughter and boyfriend and two little girls, a friend of Gyuri's and two ex-volunteer and one of their girlfriends. One guy lived in Canada for a few years, and his Canadian and my American are similar, so we're able to communicate :) (i joke, i joke!)

Anyway, this could be taken as a very racial thing, but I assure you that I mean nothing racial: i cannot get these guys to work. First, we took a break yesterday because the guys needed beer. Then after lunch, Gyuri called to tell us it was too hot to work (it's about 85* here). Then in the evening, it was still too hot to work and they're a little upset about a money situation.

Everyone else here is Roma. So, one of the things I'm faced with is the fact that Gadje (non-Roma) expect them to not want to work. So, if I am trying to get them to work, it MAY appear to them that I think less of them for not working (it may also appear to them that I'm just crazy and they'd be more correct... but not being able to completely communicate means my actions DO speak louder than my words). Last night a few of them stayed up a little late and it's now noon and I haven't seen three of them yet. Hmmm...

However, they also have the knowledge of the time frame we have - we have a week. With this many people, it's completely possible to have gotten everything done in 3 days (if anyone were in 'slave driver' mode). However, in this heat (which is really NOT that bad), they feel it necessary to take it easy for a few days. Oh well, the work WILL get done, because when we did work yesterday, we worked hard.

This has already been a great cultural experience. There are young people my age here, which is great - haven't met many Roma that are at the same "place" in their lives. They keep commenting on how great my Hungarian is after only 10 months (just wait until they meet Simon on Friday or Saturday - they'll be blown away!). They also asked the questions that I love being asked: "What do you think of gypsies?" and "Why are you working with Roma?"

Answering in Hungarian is a bit hard, but once I find some words I can use, it's easy to convey my thoughts and feelings to them. Sun up to late night, I am using only Hungarian and it's easy to see how those in a completely Hungarian environment have come so far this year. I don't regret living in Budapest as it's been a great time, but I am sad that I haven't learned to really speak in Hungarian (although I truly do understand about 90-95% of what people say).

Anyway, it's almost lunch time and I would like to go back out into the sunshine. Have a great day!

*~*~*

Horses took over Budapest at the Nemzeti Vagta (National Gallop!) It's kinda like the Kentucky Derby... only better costumes for the riders, less costumes for the audience. Oh! and if you want to watch, it's free to stand.

sorry about the terrible photo quality... I haven't written about this, but one of my technological injuries has been to my camera. Riding the trollibusz home from the homeless shelter earlier this year, I was greeted by a big, drunk, angry man who proceeded to push a few lucky people while trying to get on the bus. I had my camera (in it's protective case, even!) in my pocket and I was pushed so that my thigh hit a bar HARD. My leg hurt a lot, so I was worried to take my camera out and look. Well, it still works (obviously), but I can't really see the screen. The best part is that it doesn't have a manual viewfinder so my camera has literally become a "point and click" and hope. When I put my card in the computer, things either look amazing or like crap. This even, unfortunately, it was the latter. Oh well.

WHAT?!

2010-06-07T05:44:00.002-04:00

I shut down my computer last night...
and started it again this morning

I lost my pictures.

No, not ALL my pictures, but the ones that I hadn't posted on here or in Facebook yet (which means they were only being held on here and hadn't been put on my flash drive because that's my system...)

goodbye pictures of Cluj-Napoca,
goodbye pictures of horses taking over Budapest,
goodbye random pictures of life in Budapest...
ugh.

What's funny is that I lost them because I accepted that my computer had seriously imploded and so I moved all of them to the new "pictures" folder.
So, when my computer reverted back to its old self this morning (except I don't have any sound again), I lost everything that had been created or saved during the short-lived random freak-out episode.

What's double funny is that I just packed all my flash drives because in going to Balatonlelle, I'm sure there won't be regular internet access, so it'll give me a reason to categorize all my stuff - now that I've lost my pictures and my music (which I'm way less concerned about, except that I lost the hard to find Hungarian worship songs that I paid twice what I usually pay for music... grrr...), I only have documents to move around and organize, so we're talking way less time and I could probably do that while waiting for my ride tonight.

hmmm... life is funny.

Last post in Budapest for a while...

2010-06-07T00:36:00.001-04:00

My computer imploded today. My huge praise report is that I lost no documents or pictures or even that video I made of me ordering coffee! As of now, the only losses are my internet bookmarks, which are sad, but really, maybe it was a way of simplifying the number of things on my "to-do" list.

At any rate, I will be packing my computer up tomorrow and I will be traveling to Balatonlelle to work on getting a camp ready to open. So excited! Hopefully it's good and at the end of the week, there will be a camp that's ready for kids to invade!

Prayers, as always, are much appreciated.
Peace!

*~*~*

One of the most asked questions (second, in fact, to "what's the weather like?") has been "what's the food like?" I have covered this topic on a couple different occasions, but really, it's one of those things that I can't say enough about. Food has a huge importance in everyone's lifestyle... flavor, quantity, quality, appearance, background... you name it and someone can go into great detail about their food situation.

I recently found this quote about the great market halls of Budapest.
... "I’ve found that there are more stands selling meat than grocery or any other product. Draw the conclusion and you’ll understand the health problems of Hungarian society. Meat with meat and some more meat. Veggies? Sure, give me some potatoes!"
It's funny 'cuz it's true.

Anyway, I want to introduce you to 2 traditional Hungarian foods: gulyásleves and kürtőskalács.

Gulyásleves (goulash soup) is traditionally cooked over a fire in a giant cauldron and it's usually only made for huge crowds and celebrations. I've only had it traditionally cooked twice and both times were at village celebration days. Beef, tomato and paprika are the base ingredients. Some add potatoes, some add onions and peppers, some add other veggies... all it all, it's a soup (WITHOUT pasta, as many Americans make it) and you eat it with bread.

Kürtőskalács (Chimney cake) is another traditional festival food, although many have started marketing this for everyday gastronomy. It is made from flour, milk, sugar, butter, egg and yeast - make it into a dough and roll it out into long strips, then wrap the strips around an oiled roll thing. Then, you paint it with more oil and roll it in more sugar... then roast it over some hot coals, turning it to roast evenly. When it's brown, you take it out of the warmth, roll it in a topping of your choice (chocolate, cinnamon sugar, coconut, crushed poppyseeds, or walnuts). Then take it off the roll thing and let it cool - then enjoy!

Protests, Flooding and Relocation

2010-06-05T04:50:00.000-04:00

So, this has been quite the month.

Protests: The political system has been pushed into hyper-drive with the recent election outcome. The Jobbik party has organized several demonstrations and protests that have been relevant to my life. One of them was against the camp along the Balaton Lake that is for Roma children. Today they are having a large demonstration in a park near my flat which is preventing my evening plans from happening. Boo! :( Jobbik, if you don't remember, is the FAR RIGHT political party with radical ideas and many of their political demonstrations could easily lead to violence. Makes for an interesting night, I suppose, but I think I'll try to stay as far away as possible.

Flooding: I have a meeting tonight with my pastor. I just found out I'll have no problem meeting him, but it would have been a problem yesterday evening. You see, because it hasn't stopped raining FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH!, we had flooding in the metros. Awesome, right? Yeah, unless you're one of the 3 million people here in Budapest and use the metros on a daily basis. On a flip note, it looks like it's supposed to be a beautiful weekend - yay! :)

Relocation: It's happening. I'm relocating to the lake on Monday. I will be there from Monday, June 7 through Tuesday, June 15th. Then I will come back to Budapest for a night or two, then go back to the Balaton area on Wednesday or Thursday for another week. Should be a good time and I'm really looking forward to having my morning coffee on the lake! :)

*~*~*

Gypsy Houses in Romania

At first sight, I thought I wasn't understanding Gábor correctly as he explained what these houses were. Then, when Gyüri re-explained, it was the exact same thing. Allow me to share with you the story I heard (twice) and am still amazed at.

In an attempt to show off their wealth, quite a few gypsies in Romania started building HUGE houses. They are characterized by their extreme size, bright colors (if they're painted) and shiny roofs. However, they are all left unfinished to varying degrees.

There are a few probable reasons for this.
A) they run out of money before they can finish it.
B) they decided they really don't want to live like Gadje (non-Roma)
C) they don't want to pay the taxes on it (you don't have to pay taxes if you don't finish it)

Any one of those (or combination thereof) would be sufficient reason from the looks of it... check it out!

A recipe and a friend :)

2010-06-03T04:10:00.000-04:00

I wanted something sweet last night and started looking through my cupboards. I found bread, ketchup, rice and some assorted spices and chocolate powder. The only thing I had that was sweet was sugar. So... I quickly realized how often I've had sweet rice for lunch at the hospital and thought "Voila! I can make sweet rice!" Perfect.

It turned out so good, I wanted to share it with you. Be aware - it really does take about 30-40 minutes if you keep the temperature below medium (on a 1-9 scale, with 9 being the hottest - I had it at cooking at a 4).

GERMAN SWEET RICE

1 c. dry rice
2/3 c. sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 c. water
3 c. milk
2 tbsp. butter

Spray a 2 quart saucepan with Pam. Add dry rice and water. Cook over medium low heat until most of water has been absorbed. Add milk and continue cooking slowly, stirring frequently.

Remove from heat while rice is still rather soft. Add sugar, butter and salt and mix well. Should be cooked in last 30 to 40 minutes before serving.

If rice becomes too stiff, add a small amount of milk and heat through. Pour into bowl for serving, sprinkle top with sugar and cinnamon.

...

I would ease up on the milk (maybe 2.5 cups) and I added cocoa powder, cinnamon and vanilla to the mix when I added in the sugar. FINOM! DELICIOUS!

*~*~*

A Day in The Life of Gábor

I made a new friend this last weekend on my trip into Romania. Because I took a LOT of pictures of him doing things throughout the weekend, I didn't figure I needed to take any of me doing these things - Gábor could just walk you through the festival for me. So, without further adieu, I present Gábor and Mera Days:

Gábor came along as a driver. We took two vans full of future volunteers and a children's band (I wrote about the Romano Glaszo band a few posts back...) Here, we took a break just inside the Hungarian/Romanian border.

So glad we didn't drive that thing! There were SOOO many horse carts throughout the village. It's the sound I woke up to and the sound I went to sleep to - the clippety clop of horse carts going by. It was a little surreal - like stepping back in time :)

"downtown" (I say that in such a way because it's a VILLAGE), there was a little market, where you could buy all kinds of homemade treasures. Gábor went jewelry shopping for his daughter... and snack shopping for his ears :P

making kürtőskalács - a Transylvanian specialty.

kürtőskalács = love.

Discovering Communism by Remembering Communism

2010-06-01T12:18:00.001-04:00

I'm still in Budapest and a little frustrated at this point, but instead of touching on that, I'm giving you a post through pictures of Memento Park in the outskirts of Budapest

Communism: something US natives know nothing about... good idea, but it never works...

Because I know very little about communism, I decided that something I really SHOULD see before I leave Budapest is the part with all the old Communist statues and mementos. One beautiful Monday afternoon, we did just that. Enjoy learning through my lesson.

The Red Star that represented Communism - The Pentagram is said to represent the five fingers on a worker's (the center of socialism) hand.

Many of the statues were dedicated to just normal people because the real heroes of Communism are the common blue collar workers. Many of the following have no real faces or description because of it - they were meant to encourage the public to picture themselves as the heroes.

This a memorial to Béla Kun, a Hungarian Communist Revolutionary.
Random fact: when this was still standing, it was called Béla Motel by the local homeless people because it made a great rain shelter :)

this plaque was funny to me. Some guy worked in a factory. :)

This is a Martyr's Memorial - not sure what the complete story is, but it looks like half-man, half-ape... weird.

Kristin (an American English teacher in Újszász, Hungary) and I used our amazing Hungarian skills to translate this plaque: "Thank you for freeing up our time so we can play badminton."
I'm fairly certain that's not REALLY what it says, but that's as close as I can get you :P did I mention that we went through the park without a guide or booklet or anything?

This is the Buda Volunteer Regiment Memorial - it kinda speaks for itself, and yet I have no further intelligent insight to give you.

This is Capt. Miklós Steinmetz. He is the one that ordered the ultimatum during the Battle of Budapest - Hungarians and Germans surrender to the Soviet Army or they'll eat all your gulyás and páprika... or something like that.

Pioneers:
a) what some people refer to our Wednesday night program as (it's "Explorers") at Home Acres Church in Kentwood, Michigan
b) the children organization operated by the Communist party, with headquarters in Budapest.
thank goodness we're out of the "Red Scare" of my home church would be in a little trouble :P

The Republic of Councils Monument... or as Hungarians refer to it: "Miss, you dropped your kerchief!"

The Hungarian Fighters in the Spanish International Brigades Memorial

The Workers' Movement Memorial

This is the Liberation Monument (not to be confused with the Hungarian Statue of Liberty which currently stands over Budapest)

Stalin's boots. A giant Stalin once stood in Budapest's city park. On October 23rd, 1956, the beginning date of the Hungarian (failed) Revolution against the Soviets, this statue was sawed at the knees. Crowds were there to witness this giant dictator brought down. The boots themselves are taller than me, so you can understand just how big the actual statue was (8 meters).

A short moment to reflect on the trip to Ukraine that happened a while ago...

2010-05-31T04:01:00.000-04:00

because I will soon start sharing about the trip I just took to Romania.

While in Ukraine, we had an opportunity to stop and visit one of our fellow volunteers, Heidi. I have really enjoyed opportunities to see in person what other volunteers are doing... for many reasons. It gives me a chance to put together a picture of the place they talk about at the seminars. It also gives me an overview of the work that's being done throughout the region and opens my eyes to take in new perspectives outside of Budapest. As my roommate, Silvia, put it last night: "I'm not in Hungary, I'm in Budapest." There's so much truth to that statement that I don't even know where to begin to describe what she means.

Anyway, while traveling through Ukraine, we stopped at a Hungarian Roma camp in a place called Szürte (Hungarian name). The emotions that flooded over me were too many to actually put words to, but I was reminded of the cardboard cities in the frontera of Mexico, the mountains outside Santiago, Dominican Republic and the bridge people outside of Nashville, TN... where the poverty was more than overwhelming. Matt, who was with us, even stated that it was probably the poorest place he's ever seen.

I apologize for the lack of pictures, but you must understand that out of respect, most of my visit was just "look and listen"... and trying to figure out how I respond in love (not necessarily to THEM, but to God's voice through this).

What do you say when one of the women tells you that it's just a poor village?
What do you feel when you see a tiny house without a roof after being informed that they had to tear down the roof this winter in order to heat the house?
What do you think when you see the one room smaller than your bedroom in which 3 children and two adults live?
How do you respond to a community with no running water, no electricity and while they're not content, they're still living there the best they can?

Where is God here?

...

the view from the community center recently built by a mission team... you can see some of the homes here.

our volunteer, Heidi, and three of her young friends :)

*~*~*

there are sooo many snails in Hungary - reminds me of GVSU. After a rain, the worms invaded the sidewalks. here, snails invade the sidewalks!

ewww!

*~*~*

We are waaay in the south of Budapest, checking out our city from far away :)

Tomorrow/Today?

2010-05-26T03:09:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is my last day at the Children's House.
I have mixed emotions about this.

First of all, it's not like I've really gone lately. They told me flat out that no babies ever come if it's raining, so if I wake up and see rain, I just stay home and don't go out in the rain myself. It's given me time to work on some things for the camp, and also allows me to clean the flat which I'm sure would get neglected if I didn't have the time.

Second of all, it's weird to actually have a "last day." Upon leaving the other two placements, I didn't really have a last day that was known in advance... they just stopped. So it's weird that tomorrow I will actually have a chance to say "goodbye."

And what's kinda funny is that there's a chance I won't go to the Balaton after all... and still work at the house...
yup. hmmm... i'll let you know how tomorrow goes :)

*~*~*

Ukrainian architecture -

Check out the Orthodox churches we drove by!

a castle outside Mukachevo (Munkács)

*~*~*

One day, I visited Matt's placement. Matt works in a Tanoda, an afterschool program, tutoring students with English and math. The day I went, Matt had two students. Welcome to the my experience at the Budaörsi Tanoda :)

Pünkösd Hétfő

2010-05-24T05:01:00.005-04:00

Today is Pünkösd Hétfő - Pentecost Monday - a national holiday here in Hungary. That means, of course, no work... and nothing to do, right? WRONG!

Yesterday, on the actual Pentecost day, there was church and lunch, normal Sunday tradition for me. After lunch, though, we headed to the Budapest Zoo.

I have only 4 weekends left in Budapest. The other weekends will be spent at the camp or traveling. Anyway, since the countdown has begun, so has the list of things we haven't seen but NEED to visit before leaving. The Zoo made the top of the list. Well, the zoo made the top of some peoples' lists and I just figured it sounded like fun. Honestly, though, a zoo is a zoo is a zoo, right? WRONG (again)!

I highly recommend the Budapest Zoo to any Budapest visitors. You could do the following if you wanted:
* reach out and pet a wolf
* stare into the eyes of a tiger, bear and/or leopard
* watch a leopard try to attack a baby (separated by merely 2 sheets of plexiglass)
* feed the hippos
* get slobbered on by camels
* steal a baby prairie dog
* see a Komodo Dragon
* check out the Raccoon exhibit
* wander through a horticultural zoo
* watch elephants dance
* pet a rhino on their way to the feeding pen
* see ducks mating
* have giraffes eat hay pellets out of your hand
* and so much more.

and that was all in the afternoon on Sunday.
Sunday evening turned out to be an American (and French) barbecue at the boys' flat. Taco flavored ground pork burgers and de-skinned hot dogs were the fare, complete with a real grill and ice tea. It was like being home :P only looking out at the sunset over the Buda Hills.

I hope you all had a BLESSED Pentecost and may you truly feel the presence of the Holy Spirit each and every day!

*~*~*

There is a group of musicians who have a good relationship with my hosting organization here (the leader of the band is married to the leader of the organization). Because of this, we were all basically brought on board as the super international fan-base that any good band needs.

The band consists (on this day) of 4 Hungarian girls, 1 Ohio guy (Matt - ELCA YAGM), 1 Canadian guy (doing an independent study on Roma music here for a few months), and Gyüri, the leader. They perform Roma songs from many different countries, as well as some Hungarian folk music.

This particular performance was held on May 1st, Labor Day here in Hungary, which is a great celebration of all the workers and encourages people to take a day off and have fun - funny, because they provide a huge carnival in the park and SOMEONE has to work it, right? :P Anyway, this was in the political corner, an area we would have normally tried to avoid.

Even some of the crowd watching danced along and sang songs.

At one point, I looked around. The crowd was filled with an RGDTS dream - Roma AND Gadje (non-Roma). MLK Jr would be proud :)

*~*~*

There are days when I am disappointed in the amount of folk culture I get because I'm here in the city. However, I am getting a fairly good dose of "sophisticated," city culture. Silvia and I went to the Opera to see the ballet of "Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs" in April. However, since we paid only 400ft (less than $2), we got to sit in the "ghetto" of the Opera House. There are no bad seats, really, because the place is magnificent... just less beautiful seats.

This is our view looking straight from our seats.

No red carpet stairs for us! :P

Istenünk nagyon jó!

2010-05-22T03:01:00.000-04:00

God is so very good!

I stood on my balcony the other night, enjoying the storm coming through Budapest. As I stood there, a thought came across my mind: "I have $1500 left to raise... what happens if I don't raise that money before I return?"

I sent out the email that I send out each time I'm getting ready to write my newsletter asking if there had been any changes to my account in the last month.

The email response I received was NOT what I expected...

(drum roll please)

I have gone over the $12,000 mark!

I received $1080 in the last month because God moved in the hearts of some people. Because God hasn't lost faith in this work, why oh why did I lose faith that this money wouldn't come through?!

I still have $371 left to raise and about 2 months to raise it, but come on! That's pebbles compared to $12,095!

Celebrate God's goodness today with me and praise God for all the plans that He's laid out and PROVIDED for along the way.

:D

*~*~*

A random excursion to the beautiful city of Eger with my roommate, Silke.
One Saturday, Silke and I had nothing to do and Eger was on both of our lists of things to see and do. We headed out in the morning and arrived near midday and prepared ourselves for an adventure! Check out what we saw!

The Basilica was built between 1831 and 1836 and is the second largest church in Hungary (after St. Stephen's Basilica in Budapest). Silke and I spent a few moments translating the Latin and we THINK we know what it means - any guesses from you?

The Fazola Gate

The Minaret is the northernmost building from the Turkish Empire in all of Europe.

A view of the castle wall and Minorita Church, one of the most beautiful Baroque churches in Central Europe.

Calvary within the castle...

Just some pretty views of parts of the city... isn't it so romantic?

Mark 8:36

2010-05-20T08:00:00.001-04:00

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"

'nuf said.

*~*~*

Beautiful Woman Valley in Eger, Hungary

My roommate, Silke, and I set out on an adventure last weekend. The trip took us to Eger, a wine city in the east part of Hungary. We went for two reasons: the castle and the wine cellars. I'll tell you about the castle later, but the wine cellars were particularly amusing.
Picture a rather nice day suddenly darkening and turning to rain... downpouring rain. Picture Silke and I walking along with one umbrella between the two of us, trying to figure out where we're going. Picture us realizing that we had finally arrived and then not having any idea which wine cellar to go to. Now picture a lady sitting on a chair outside her wine cellar, waving us to come in and try HER wines. Of course, we couldn't pass up such a display of enthusiasm, so we went in. For the next half hour, as we sipped on her family's wine, she shared stories about her many visitors with us (in Hungarian) and even convinced us to buy some wine and take it home.

Here she is "pouring" my glass of wine.

Silke likes dry whites, I like semi-sweet reds

enjoying our cellar!

Empty. It was quite a walk for one glass of wine, but it seemed totally worth it.

oh, and I should probably make a note that will make wine connoisseurs jealous.
Silke and I each enjoyed a glass of wine for 300ft TOTAL. By today's conversion, that's $1.32 or $0.66 each. Cheaper than water.

At any point, it's weird to note that you don't see people going crazy with alcohol much in this village. It's touristic, but not a bunch of drunk people walking around. It was nice to realize that this is a highly respected thing, and by taking part in it, you are taking part in time-honored tradition, hard work and families' devotions and dreams.

My Summer Plans

2010-05-18T16:43:00.003-04:00

Today, I met with Emese to discuss my summer plans.

Just like in youth ministry, when you're working with kids and ministry, summer can be very busy.
And, of course, with any change of course, I'm finding myself excited to explore new opportunities.

I have 6 working days left at the Children's House.
On June 1st, I move (unofficially for 3 weeks) to Balatonlelle, an area along the Balaton Lake, one of Europe's favorite vacation areas. I will be working there at setting up a camp organized by the Roma Self Government in Hungary.
On June 14th, I will be a volunteer staff person for the first week that the camp is open.
On June 21st, I will be attending my final ÖDÉ retreat/seminar.
In July, my focus will be on the group coming from Ohio to work at the day camp with St. Columba's Church. They will be in town until July 19th...

Before I know it, my time here will be finished. I'm realizing it very quickly... and it's a little bittersweet.

*~*~*

Pillow FIGHT! - Young people and pillows took over Clark Adam Tér in Budapest

*~*~*

Earth Hour! - People around the world turned out the lights for one hour to speak out against mistreatment of our world's resources.

Fire dancing without lights in the castle

Conjugating Verbs

2010-05-16T05:40:00.004-04:00

"We mostly spend [our] lives conjugating three verbs: to Want, to Have, and to Do … forgetting that none of these verbs have any ultimate significance, except so far as they are transcended by and included in the fundamental verb, to Be."
- Evelyn Underhill, The Spiritual Life

As someone who is working on learning a language, one of the first things I learned was conjugation. Okay, sorry - one of the first things I was taught. Conjugation still doesn't come simply. Even as I was learning Spanish, conjugations were often jumbled and incorrectly used when I was speaking.
Once we actually get the verb out, understanding comes and that's our primary concern, right?

I teach two English classes each week (which are the highlights of my week by far!) and the pre-intermediate group is working through past/present/future conjugations. It's tough stuff and I was never really taught it... it's just something we learned, right?

So, when I stumbled upon this quote, I quickly realized its relevance to my year.
To want: I want a lot of things. My little heart desires more than I ever care to admit, actually.
To have: I have a lot of things. I not only have material items, but I also have things that I take for granted - family, friends, USA citizenship, etc.
To do: It has been engraved in my mind to do more, do more, do more... not happy? do something. bored? do something. sad? do something. overjoyed? do something. why?

to be: stop. pause. breathe in. breathe out. be.

*~*~*

Buda Castle: from a different angle.

through a window looking at Gellert Hill, Citadella, the Statue of Liberty and the Danube...

"Attention! Danger of crumbling!" uh... okay. Can we go now?

Fisherman's Bastion: straight out of a fairytale

*~*~*

One of the joys I get on occasion is to go on an adventure with Emese (my country coordinator) and her husband, Gyuri. Gyuri drives a mini-bus, which he often refers to as "Gypsy car". It has seating like a limo, so that two seats face the back three seats. It makes for awkward riding, but it's perfect for group conversation.
This particular trip, as we head toward Ukraine, Matt and I decided to both face forward, which is way better for sight-seeing, and use the other seat as a footrest.

On our way home from Ukraine, we gained another person. Zoltán lives in a village near where we were in Ukraine, so he went home for the weekend knowing that he could catch a free ride back on Monday. This made our ride home more interesting with a backseat conversation in mixed Hungarian and English. In fact, our trip home basically consisted of a 2-3 hour English lesson.

Uplifting Words

2010-05-14T04:05:00.000-04:00

today I was able to accomplish an amazing feat:
I got myself to and from George the dentist completely on my own.

Now, to those of you unfamiliar, this means that I got up at 4:45 to get on a 6:30a train (I had a ticket to travel for free on that specific train otherwise, I wouldn't have chosen it, believe me).
Travel three hours to Hidasnémeti.
Arrive in Hidasnémeti and find the bus going to Gönc.
Travel to Gönc and then find the dentist office...

and then do the whole thing in reverse.

it was nice to go somewhere away from everything that's been stressing me out. I managed to ALMOST read an entire book. I also did a lot of thinking and watching the scenery and reflecting.
In an attempt to lift myself up, I found these two things helpful. I pray they also are a blessing to you today.

Psalm 4:6-8 (Message)
Why is everyone hungry for more? "More, more," they say.
"More, more."
I have God's more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together.

"God made me as I am,
part of creation's plan.
No one else can ever be
the part of God's plan that's me."
~Bernadette Farrell

*~*~*

Margit Island: Budapest's own "Central Park"
Located in the middle of the Danube is a beautiful island where Budapest natives chill and tourists take a moment to breathe. It's beautifully green right now and is a host to all sorts of fun activities.

you can hang out at the musical fountain...

sunbathe or throw a frisbee or play soccer/american football/badminton or even have a picnic in the open grassy areas...

and when you want to get rid of your sass, you can go taunt the peacocks until they open their feathers :)

*~*~*

Every Wednesday, I go to a home for disabled and elderly people. I am teaching the staff English. Also, this is my roommate's, Silvia's, placement. Last week, I was invited to their Mothers Day celebration and found it to be one of the cutest, most heartfelt programs I've ever seen. This is the group on the stage before beginning :)

"Erős Vár a Mi Istenünk" - (Strong Castle the us God of us)... or "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God"... on the outside of a Lutheran church.
Amen.

another closed door?

2010-05-11T08:10:00.001-04:00

So, this is starting to materialize as the way I'll remember my year: Closed Doors.

At the school, closed doors appeared because teachers didn't want us present in their rooms unless I was teaching. It was not only fear of their English lessons, but also a feeling like I would judge them. Observing and simply helping in the room weren't options.

At the tanoda, it was all good until funding issues came up and they closed their doors. I've been awaiting word that they reopened, but have yet to personally receive it, though a source has revealed that they might have. Still waiting for the director to email me and let me know for sure, but maybe this place will, in fact, have another opened door.

At the children's house, I have begun arriving, only to find no one there. The gates are locked and no one is inside. Closed doors mean that someone forgot to tell me that they're not open.

And yet... I'm supposed to remain positive. I'm still trying to figure out how to do this while still faced with the reality that it will likely all be repeated tomorrow.

*~*~*

Hungarian National Holiday - March 15th

The Hungarian National Anthem is being played by a band on the steps of Parliament... this is as close as we could get :P

a political demonstration (quite a popular day for them, actually, so we high-tailed it out before any got interesting)

oh, look! they decorated!

*~*~*

World War 2 Shoe Memorial along the Danube

"To the memory of the victims
shot into the Danube
by Arrow Cross Militiamen
in 1944-1945"

A letter...

2010-05-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

I wrote a letter to one of my old students in Grand Rapids and thought I'd share it with you. Somehow, in the midst of the stresses of this last week, this happened. I'm not sure how or where it came from... it just took some quiet time on our 4th floor balcony.

It's not the entire letter, but a good chunk of it. Enjoy!

*~*~*

Hey buddy! Thanks for the card! How are you doing?

Life is going pretty well here. It's also going really fast. I can't believe that I'll be home in 3 months! I'm starting to realize the harsh reality that a few months from now, this entire experience will be in the past. It's really weird!

However, this year has been really good. God has shown Himself to me in ways I never imagined - He has also renewed a Spirit in me - a Spirit that longs to work with two people groups in order to bridge gaps that have formed. God's heart beats for ALL people, but especially those whom humans/society place on the fringes - those that are cast out and discriminated against.
What would our world look like if we didn't have these gaps? If we truly saw everyone as equal and offered them the same opportunities and, more importantly, the same LOVE?
What would the world be like if we all stopped thinking only about ourselves and started to think only about others? Just think about how many lives could change and how much better the world would be!

Sadly, this work will probably still need to be done ever after you and I leave the earth. The evil one will still rule in peoples' lives and he thrives on this stuff. It angers and saddens me, but this is true :(

*~*~*

Mukachevo (Munkács), Ukraine

This is a Hungarian church, which is actually quite modern comparatively. Note the booth on the right. Yes, preachers often will use this on special Sundays - so for all of you who have been used to deliver words to congregations, could you imagine teaching from such a place? I think I'd feel even MORE intimidated. Thanks, I'll stick to the floor (or maybe a small step because I'm short).

just your average street in downtown Munkács...

a river flows through every important city :) This is The Liatorytsia River.

coffee ok :)

The town square. In front of me, you can see Emese (my country coordinator) and her husband, Gyüri. In the middle of the picture, you can see the Ukrainian flag :) and a LOT of green. That was the one noticeable difference from Hungary to Ukraine - everything was SOOO green!

And an alley way... It's sad to see all of the beauty that is in the city and then walk past this. My heart broke. Only one block away was a busy town square with shops and coffeehouses and people bustling and buying things... and here we have families that are struggling just to get by. *sigh*

seeking positive thoughts to no avail...

2010-05-05T18:08:00.000-04:00

I keep trying to sit down and write a blog post, but I'll be honest.
It's been a mentally challenging week and I have very little to say that's positive.

Except that maybe it's a good thing I don't speak Hungarian very well, because I would have some terrible words to say to some people today.
Language barrier = best way to naturally bite your tongue

*~*~*

Nagydobrony, Karpatalja, Ukraine

A couple weeks ago, I was part of a small group of people that traveled to Transcarpathia, Ukraine. This trip was really interesting for me because it offered insight into the village where the three Ukrainian boys grew up. It's always neat to see peoples' roots and see who they've become.

Also interesting, is that this is an area in Ukraine that speaks Hungarian only. There are still some angry people about the Treaty of Trianon, which divided Hungary and gave part of it to Ukraine. Because Ukraine didn't really want them and because Hungarians didn't want to forget who they are, they still speak Hungarian. They also use "Budapest time" instead of Ukraine time, so from one village to the next you can change time. If your train arrives in Transcarpathia at 5:30p, the clocks on the wall will say 4:30p. Pretty interesting stuff and some seriously rooted disgust toward that Treaty.

we stayed in a childrens' house that has over 80 kids. many of these kids are Roma and all are either orphaned, discarded or disabled. This is how two teenage girls would live. Close quarters. it was cute for my one night stay, but I couldn't imagine sharing the space... especially for years on end.

the view from my window. The childrens' house runs a farm in order to provide for itself. Aside from growing their own veggies and fruits, they also have an assortment of meat producers (chickens, cows, pigs) and they even have their own bakery!

Roma boys at one of the schools in the town taking a break from class to pose for pictures :)

European Travel

2010-05-02T17:27:00.007-04:00

As I prepare to figure out my May travels: Eger and Romania, I thought it was rather important to look back on the tips that I've learned so far this year.

How to travel:
1. Bus = cheapest way. Train = fastest and most comfortable way. Minibus with Emese and Gyuri = best way, but may lead to carsickness in some individuals.
2. Couchsurfing is amazing. Use it to find bed space and new friends... and learn things about the city you're in.
3. Train tickets are cheaper if you buy 2-way tickets. Sometimes 2-way tickets are cheaper than 1-way! Wow!
4. Ask questions. If you make it obvious that you don't know what you're doing, a lot of conductors and customer service reps will be nice to you and won't make you stand around second guessing yourself.
5. Plan ahead. Lots of trains have cheap tickets if you plan far enough in advance.
6. Overnight trains save time and let you get your much needed sleep before you arrive at your destination. They're also not as dangerous as people say, just be smart. Sleep with you money under your head and your bags under your feet/on your bunk between you and the wall.

Packing:
1. Wear outfits more than once - at LEAST two days per outfit.
2. Pack an extra pair of underwear and socks - you never know when you might extend your stay for another night somewhere.
3. Pack an extra t-shirt instead of a towel. It's lighter and dries faster.
4. Comfort over beauty. You may WANT to wear your cute street shoes, but you'll be much more comfortable city-hiking in your tennis shoes.
5. Pack a snack for the ride. You WILL get bored. You will also get hungry. You will be very very thirsty, but only drink a lot of water if you're traveling by train.
6. Get your maps and information beforehand. Look up what you want to see. Learn the history. Have backup plans in case your host fall through, weather sucks or transportation fails. Don't forget your PASSPORT and INSURANCE CARD!

Just in case you're ever in Europe looking for travel tips.

*~*~*

I love giving you a bunch of randoms :)

"Jesus Loves You" in Slovak

The Radnoti Miklos theater - This was the source of the most amount of red in one place that I've ever seen... and a really funny play in Hungarian. Every other Thursday, the office organizing some type of cultural event for those of us in the city, realizing that by us being in the city, we are in a place "lacking" culture. It's not really a lack, but more of a "hard-to-find." Anyway, it was a story I didn't know called "Wolves and Sheep." Not knowing the plot made it a little hard to follow, although Emese did do some prep-work and gave us the lowdown so that we knew the gist of it. However, plays are good because there are actions to follow. While everyone else was laughing at what the guy on the stage said and did, I'm laughing at what he did and pretending that he just said "I want to be an astronaut when I grow up" or "I pick my nose in my sleep while I dream of playing guitar on an island in the middle of the sea." (don't ask, those are just my favorite lines when someone needs translation and I have no idea what was said myself). My roommate, Andrea, walked away STILL laughing, so I highly recommend seeing this play if you get a chance :) Maybe you'll even understand more of it!

Gas Prices in Hungary...
350.9 forint per liter - 3.78 liters to the gallon - 1326.4 forint per gallon - 204 forint per dollar...
$6.49 PER GALLON = ouch!

I'm so glad I know enough Hungarian to enjoy this sign: "Jesus is calling you, but not on your telephone."

Andrea, my roommate, left this last week and returned to Romania. Before she left, we had a proper birthday party for her 30th birthday and combined it with a send-off. So, after dinner, everyone here posed on her bed for a group picture. So, I present...
---top row--- Isabel (German serving in Miskolc, Hungary)...
---second row--- Silke (German serving Budapest), János (Hungarian/Ukrainian serving in Budapest), Andrea (Hungarian/Romanian), János (Hungarian/Ukrainian serving in Budapest), Evelyn (German serving in Budapest)...
---bottom row--- Timothée (French serving in Budapest), Zoltán (Hungarian/Ukrainian serving in Budapest), Zoltán (Hungarian/Romanian studying in Budapest), Silvia (Italian serving in Budapest) and Matt (American serving in Budapest)

The Terézvárosi Gyerekház

2010-04-30T14:25:00.002-04:00

I realized that I've never shared much about my morning work since I started there. So, since the weather is beautiful and I would much rather be outside drinking my coffee, I'll make this short.

It hasn't always been easy work or even fun work, but when the kids come, they really do make me smile :)

This is the painting on the wall when you enter. It's Tamás the train. the B/K in the upper left stands for Biztos Kezdet (Safe Hands). That is the organization/program that the childrens' house works under. It is also the same program that Jeff's childrens' house is with, so that is kinda cool - the RCA is working with Biztos Kezdet :)

This is Balázs, one of the kids who comes quite regularly.

Balázs has a twin sister: Anna. On many days, they are the only kids we have, which is okay because they're cute and fun and manageable (with 4 adults) :P

and one day, we got there and it was just Balázs and Anna, so we decided to decorate some eggs :) these are blown out eggs, then dyed, then beaded with glue. These are very typical Easter crafts for Hungary, so it was fun to participate :)

¤ Lilacs ¤

2010-04-28T15:55:00.006-04:00

there's something about spring that just gets me every year. It's some sunshine mixed with warmth, add a few cool breezes and green leaves that were missed during winter's chill. Most of all, it's your bloom that carries me away.
I get caught up in your beauty - the way you always hold yourself up so high, each part of you is perfect. Your buds are each shaped in the perfection only God can paint. Your colors are as diverse as the fish in the sea or the faces in the world around me.
I get caught up in your smell. It takes me away to days of innocence - days of building forts in your trees back on the farm - days of learning what it meant to be free - the hard summer lessons of stealing and sex mixed in with the even harder winter lessons of work and death.
When I take your smell, it lifts my soul while sinking my heart. Your beauty and smell are reminders of pain as well. You can't take away this pain no matter how many times I ask you to do so. You can't erase the memories of coming home to a house filled with lilacs after a particularly stressful week in May. You can't erase the moments when you spoke more words than red roses or when your smell covered up all the worries and problems of life.
Those moments aren't pain, but the pain is that just as you leave each summer, these moments left. Unlike you, they will never bloom again. There is no revival, no spring for them - buried under years of winter, they will never be reborn.
So, when I walk past you each day, I can't help but stop and listen and breathe you in. Those moments rush through me and I, for one minute every day, feel alive again.

*~*~*

Castles in the north of Hungary...

driving along with Joe Angi, we stumbled upon this castle nestled away, run down and nearly unrecognizable as a castle.

this beauty stands proudly in the middle of a valley - maybe someday I'll take a few hours and explore it :)

a visitor from Japan?!

2010-04-27T06:31:00.003-04:00

I realized that I seemingly skipped over a pretty major event here in Hungary. Actually, I've skipped a couple, but we'll get to them, I promise.
I'm attempting to keep my blog posts short with lots of pictures for you, my awesome supporters... but sometimes I get caught in moments and get backlogged with stories and pictures. Unfortunately, this is what happened to this post. Sorry, Katharine!

In July, as many of you may remember, I had a 2 week training in Chicago. Upon arrival, I'd met Jay, Jeff and Don... but there was word of this one girl coming. Her name: Katharine. Destination: Japan. and... she was my suitemate for the 2 weeks.

After spending two weeks with people for non-stop, as you can imagine, us young people grew quite close. It seemed like Jeff, Katharine and I were quite the trio and we had a lot of fun together. In what I took as good intentions, but never thought I'd see them realized, Katharine said that she'd come and visit us in Hungary. Her situation is a bit different and so she is able to afford some traveling, but still... Japan to Hungary is a LONG way.

Then, when we got to Hungary, the conversation continued. Even after she bought the tickets, there were things that came up that made it a little unbelievable. However, Katharine landed in Budapest on April 19th and the next 5 days were nothing short of awesome.

Jeff and I waited at the wrong terminal for her, of course. After realizing this, we nearly ran to the other one and she was just getting out of the arrival gate when we got there.

From Budapest, we left the next morning and went to Jeff's town, Nyírtelek, where we spent two days exploring and getting a taste of his life.

Jeff's church...

we even got to hang out with a Roma family!

Then we came back to Budapest, for 2 days of packed sightseeing and great company. Aside from RCA related visits, Katharine is my visitor this year. And, as a connection from home, it's funny to think that we only knew each other a month before we spread out around the world. It's great to know that some friendships just don't take long to nurture and yet can be some of the most amazing friendships of your life.

How can you wrap your mind around some things?

2010-04-26T15:53:00.004-04:00

Many of you may start to realize that I haven't talked a lot about my visit to Auschwitz/Birkenau. It's not because I didn't take pictures, because I did. It's not because I don't want to talk about it, because I will... at some point. However, there are some things in life which cannot be immediately digested and discussed and processed as quickly as surface level experiences. There are things that tug at your heart for weeks and months.

At which point do I feel like I can discuss things publicly? When I have fully processed them myself.

With that being said, I'm home from the Ukraine. There are a lot of things that I saw that won't be immediately discussed here because I'm still processing, still trying to figure out my reaction. So, instead of discussing, here are some really random pictures.

*~*~*

This is a Hungarian cemetary. Take note of the way graves are marked in cement above ground. Obviously not all of their casket is above ground, but you can definitely see each body's space. Also, note the boxes. I'm ASSUMING these are for those cremated or for bodies that were unrecoverable. Also, take note of the amount of decoration on both types of remembrance plots. So pretty!

Picture this: land in Krakow, Poland after 7 hour bus ride. We're hungry. We wee a place that's advertising food and it looks good. I see a cheeseburger on the menu, but I speak NO Polish. The lady at the window speaks NO English. This is what I got. A cheeseburger with coleslaw on it. Honestly, it wasn't bad.

Hehe... "Enter and your own risk." Nope. "Enter on your own risk." Nope. "Enter at your own risk." oh! Got it now!

Click on this one to make it bigger. Just days after the Polish president died in a plane crash, the world mourned with Poland over another tragedy. During World War 2, the Katyn Forest in Russia became the sight of a massacre of Polish officers and other citizens in an attempt to eliminate entirely the educated population of Poland. Hungary joined Poland in their mourning one Saturday and this was the scene at the Parliament.

... sometimes you just need to stop and appreciate the beauty that a few tulips can bring ... (Krakow, Poland)

Kinda big update...

2010-04-24T05:26:00.007-04:00

So, I told myself I wouldn't update again until after I got back from the Ukraine. However, yesterday we received some rather large news.

On Monday, Silke comes home...
on Tuesday, Andrea leaves.

Andrea, one of my flatmates, will be returning to Romania to look for a job. She won't be returning to Budapest. It's sad, but also we have to remember that if this is what God has called her to do, this is where she NEEDS to be.

Please pray for Andrea as she spends her last weekend in Budapest and prepares to make her journey home. Also, continue to pray for her - that she will find work and that she will be able to decipher God's call on her life.

*~*~*

Wawel Castle in Krakow, Poland is a place of great significance to the Polish people. Archaeological findings suggest that the castle was first settled in the 4th century, although the castle that stands today was started in the 9th century. The cathedral began in 1018. In 1038, Krakow became the royal seat of Poland. In 1306, a fire destroyed part of the cathedral. In the early 1500s, the royal seat was completely rebuilt during a very prosperous time. In 1595, another fire destroyed parts of the castle. In 1795, Austrians took it over. 110 years later, in 1905, the Austrians left and restoration began.

Alen and I didn't get much of a chance to explore since we got there around closing time, but it was still pretty sweet!

the view from the castle...

Smok Wawelski, also known as The Dragon of Wawel Hill - who is very famous in Polish folklore

:) I found the SECRET GARDEN!

uh... hmmm... now what? we're locked in? oh, wait... servants exit to the left. Apparently we're not royal enough to go out the real gate :P

Another trip, a roommate returning and finances...

2010-04-22T05:06:00.007-04:00

I haven't been able to catch up on all my Krakow stories (more coming after this short text entry), and I'm already leaving the country again. This time, I'm traveling with ÖDÉ (Emese and Gyüri and an incoming volunteer) to Transcarpathia, Ukraine. This is significant because I will cross REAL borders for the first time since arriving (compare it to the Mexican/US border) as the Ukraine isn't part of the European Union, which has countries without borders. It's also a free trip, which is always good. And, I'll get to see another culture for a couple days. So, I won't be around Sunday morning until Monday night :) As always, the computer stays home during travels.

My roommate, Silke, will be returning on Monday. Doctors have decided to postpone surgery on her ACL until August, when she returns to Germany after her volunteer year. She can't walk as well as she used to, but at least she can walk again. I'm looking forward to her return, for sure.

I want to give you a brief update on my financial situation. Many of you know I came here needing to raise $12,466... and hadn't raised all of it before stepping on the plane. As the time ticks by, I'm realizing that I'm only going to be here for 3 more months and I still have $1,451 to raise. Here in Hungary, for your taxes, you can donate 2% of your taxes to a charity. For those of you who received/are receiving tax returns, can I challenge you with something? What about donating 2% of your tax return to global missions? There are a lot of us out there who are just trusting that God will provide and He always has provided through people like you. To invest in a global missionary is to invest in the lives of many many people. If you're interested in giving to the RCA or to my fund, please visit www.rca.org/volunteers - click on ‘donate’ and if you wish, you can select my name from the list. Otherwise, you can send a check to the following address - just put my name/or another missionary's name in the memo section and it will get to me. Thank you, in advance, for helping to advance God’s kingdom. Together, God is using us to do His good and perfect will. Checks should be made payable to “RCA Mission Volunteer Program” and sent to:
Reformed Church of America
PO Box 19381
Newark, NJ 07195-1938

*~*~*

Adventures in Krakow

A building in the old Jewish Quarter in Krakow. It was strange to walk those streets and think that 60 years ago, people were pulled out of those buildings to their deaths.

This is the Church of St. Joseph of Podgórze in Kraków, built in 1909

your average street in Krakow - it's so cute and "European!"

The main square - it included a market, a Polish guy singing country songs, moving statues, and all kinds of other things to just watch. it was great!

these guys were making music in the street - quite possibly some of the best street musicians I've ever heard. Plus, they look cool :)

this is how far away from two homes that I am... 7400km to Rochester, NY... 295km to Budapest.

and of course, the best discovery in Krakow: Mountain Dew. Many of you know that I was an avid Mtn Dew drinker before leaving... and I had yet to even find one here in Europe. Well, mission accomplished. However, I probably won't be drinking another one from Poland. It was like pure sugar water (more so than American Mtn. Dew)! Ewww! Plus, it creepily glowed. Um... no thanks!

Velky Slavkov, Slovakia

2010-04-19T07:55:00.004-04:00

One of the great things about being here with this program is that I work with people from around the world working in similar situations, even in different countries. Through Dick and Carolyn Otterness, who also work alongside the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) Young Adults in Global Mission (YAGM) program, I've had a chance to meet and befriend 7 other young adults from the US and Canada. 3 of these volunteers are currently working in Slovakia. One of them, a man named Sepp, is working in a little village called Velky Slavkov, Slovakia. On my return from Poland, I took two extra days and visited his home there.

Sepp has been pretty isolated most of this year because he is alone in his village, so this was a great chance to remind him that he's not alone in the mission. His job is with a home for men coming out of orphanages. Because these men haven't had their parents raise them, they lack social skills, work skills, and other life skills (how to cook, clean, manage money, etc.) Most of the men in the home are Roma (Gypsy) men. The 20 guys live together and share many rooms in a big house. They have chores around the house (cooking and cleaning). They also have work that they go to everyday. This work pays them so that they can start to get themselves on their feet and make something of themselves. Sepp is at the home to motivate, to encourage and to help them in any way. He has organized trips to the local water park and has taken on some projects (like landscaping behind the house) with the guys to teach them other skills and to encourage good use of free time. While I was there, it was the weekend, so I only had the opportunity to visit the home, but to see the reception that Sepp gets there, I know he's playing a good part in their lives.

Sepp lives in an old retreat center or hotel. It has about 12 different rooms, all with lots of beds in them much like you would expect at a retreat lodge. However, with all those rooms, only 3 or 4 of them are occupied. 2 are occupied by small families and 1 is occupied by an older man whom I didn't hear speak the entire time. Because of the age differences, it's easy to see how loneliness can be an issue. Aside from the kitchen and shower space, Sepp has his own space, which is sweet. Plus, it's easy for him to host guests with all those extra rooms! :)

One of the most amazing things is the location. I always fall in love with my city when I see it with someone new... or when I see it from another perspective. However, I'm not sure that will happen again after seeing the view from my window on the mornings I stayed there.

Well, have a look for yourself:

the view from the window where I stayed. Yes, those are mountains... the Tatra Mountains to be exact.

goats!

duck chase! (this is one of the boys whose family also lives in the building.)

a view of the village from a window in the home where Sepp works

the church... and on top, you can see a bird that we don't have in the US: a STORK! yes, storks live in Slovakia and Hungary. We named these two (they mate for life) Roni and Pat - not sure who this one is, but then again, that's why we chose names that could be a boy or a girl... we couldn't tell them apart.

Who's Alen? What's "couchsurfing?"

2010-04-17T04:54:00.010-04:00

A few years ago, I heard about a website called couchsurfing.com and I decided to join in case I wanted to travel somewhere or anyone wanted to travel to Grand Rapids. As you can imagine, no one really wanted to come to Grand Rapids, so I nearly forgot about it altogether. When I got to Europe, though, everyone who wants to travel right talks about couchsurfing.
Basically, you create a profile, offer some space on a couch/extra bed/floor/etc or offer to show people around. Through this site, you can also seek out people in places you want to travel. You stay there and avoid ho(s)tel costs, and you also get an inside look to the city. As many of you know, when you stay in a ho(s)tel, you only get to know other people staying there.

Let's take Alen, for instance. Alen is a young man from California who is now studying in London. For Easter Break, Alen decides he's doing a roadtrip through Central/Eastern Europe with a major bus line here. He is coming to Budapest and needs a place to crash, so he gets on couchsurfing and posts a message, asking for a place to stay.
I, being an awesome person, respond to his post because all of my roommates have disappeared for Easter weekend. I offer him a place to crash and some tourist-y type advice and occasional company.

So, Alen came to my flat and immediately we head out in search of food. After enjoying a good Turkish meal and some great conversation, the topic of future travels comes up. Alen is planning to go to Romania and then to Krakow and Oswiecim in Poland to see Auschwitz. At which point, I am blown away because the very weekend that he is planning to go is the very weekend I had originally planned to travel there myself. Unfortunately, I had postponed my trip due to lack of travel companion (and now, you see where this is going!) One thing led to another and before I knew it, I canceled any plans I'd made for later in the week and started trying to find places to stay in Krakow.

Alen canceled his plans to Romania because of the distance, time and money needed to get to Bucharest, his hopeful destination. So instead, Alen hangs out a few more days in Budapest. He got to see my placement and join me for my birthday party, so he got a good taste of what it's like to be a volunteer here.

Then we headed off. 7 hour bus ride to Krakow... check. Couchsurfing host... check. we stayed in the flat of another person like me who was offering a place to crash for two nights. It was a good experience and being my first time ever couchsurfing, I was definitely glad to have done it with someone else.
Stories from Krakow and Oswiecim will come later (when I get my pictures and thoughts organize).
Then after 2 days in Krakow, we said goodbye. After spending almost a week with one person, you learn a lot about that person and also about yourself. We have some crazy travel plans for the future that hopefully work out. It'd be funny to have a permanent travel companion :)

And of course, questions have been raised about the fact that he's a boy and I'm a girl. we loved that question. can't a boy and a girl just hang out anymore? yes, yes, we can and we did. So, if you see glimpses of this guy in the future, you'll know how we met. I also wanted to make sure that this was written down somewhere so that I never forget the randomness of it. :) So good!

*~*~*

A step into the past - Alen and I went on an Easter Monday excursion to The Szentendre Skanzen, an outdoor museum north of Budapest. Look at what we found!

NOT a Trazy-sized windmill! :P

I'm still curious how short people actually got INTO those beds! Look at how high they are! I'm picturing it like this "Hey! I wanna go to bed - bring me the ladder!" Or maybe one of those little staircases like they use for dogs to get into beds.

aw, so romantic! an old well!

you have to click on this one to see it - but look! thatch roofs!

Alen's goofing off by the bell tower :P

pretty girls in folk costumes

outdoor ovens. some like these are still used in the summer so that the whole house doesn't heat up.

more thatch roof homes in the village...

the church is part of the museum that we didn't get to - it was too rainy and we didn't get there very early.

a shot of the windmill from far away

uhhh... okay... i'm gonna take a guess and say it's NOT normal to keep a casket in your barn, even in Hungary. i could be wrong, but that seems almost too strange.

then again, these are some crazy looking goats. I don't think it's normal to keep them either... alas, they provided us with some good laughs because in order to get to the goats, we nearly fell into the mud a few times.
Yes, Alen, it was worth it. It's always worth it if laughter is involved.

Politics in Hungary

2010-04-16T05:27:00.007-04:00

Many of you may follow the news and top stories around the world. On Sunday, we had a top story happen here in Hungary: Elections.

You see, the last four years have been run by the Hungarian Socialist Party (M.Sz.P.) and the people have grown increasingly frustrated with the corruption and injustices happening across Hungary. Because of this, it was a fairly good chance that they wouldn't be re-elected.
(remind anyone else of another recent election?)
At any point, there were a good number of other parties vying for seats in the Parlament. You have the MSzP, Fidesz (they say right-wing, but their beliefs are more aligned to the left-wing in the states), Jobbik (the FAR-right aka the 'real Hungarians' aka the group we were worried about), the Green party equivalent and a small party, which was actually a combination of a small right wing and small left wing party (yeah, go figure, eh?)
Anyway, there was quite a bit of stress around this election. One reason is that MSzP lost supporters and everyone was worried they'd joined Jobbik. Jobb is "right" and these guys claim to be the "Real Hungarians." They are anti-foreigners and anti-Roma. Their solution to the Roma problem? Get rid of them.
The other reason is because Hungary has yet to adopt a new constitution since the fall of communism. There's always been too much disagreement to make one that could be voted upon. Everyone is hoping that now is the time, that there are enough people of one party in the Parlament to actually make headway on creating one.
This is something I've never had to think about, but could you imagine becoming a democracy all of a sudden and having to start over from scratch even though you've been around for 1093 years? Wow.

At any rate, the elections went extremely well and were fairly peaceful. Fidesz got about 54% of the places, with MSzP coming in 2nd with something in the low 20%s, and Jobbik was not far behind them in the high teens.

These were the preliminary elections. Let's say there are 4 people running for one spot in the parlament. If everyone votes and one guy gets more than 51% of the votes, he's automatically in. However, everyone votes and you've got a 40%, 30%, 20% and 10%... Well, it's back to the polls! On April 25, any precinct that didn't get the required 50% will have to vote again. Not sure if that means everyone is still on the ballot or if only 2 or 3... and what happens if someone still doesn't get 50%?

Well, my brain hurt, so I stopped asking questions :P

*~*~*

In the country, if you have anything heavy to move, you move it by horse and cart. Most people in the country don't have cars, so when they find out that most of us get cars when we turn 16 blows their minds. They travel place to place via bus or train and skip all the expenses of owning a car. If only we could get the same going in the states... hmmm...

a nice shot of the Statue of Liberty :)

hiking up castle hill...

oh, look! there's my house!

Alen and I went on a little walk... en route, we found the sketchiest looking road ever. We decided we were feeling adventurous and wandered down it. And so, I introduce you to Alen, probably a subject in many of the upcoming stories because he was my traveling buddy for a few days. As always, you can click on a picture and it gets bigger - see? he looks safe, mom :)

Let me tell you about...

2010-04-13T05:33:00.008-04:00

the castle labyrinth... through pictures.
but first, hear what I have to say.

As I am recovering from being ill after traveling (I blame Alen, my awesome [but sick!] travel companion), I have a lot of time to reflect on what I'm doing here.
As I scan through the last 7.5 months, it's easy to find the fun things, the not-so fun things, the Hungarian improvement and the relationships with other volunteers that I've formed.

However, I've found myself in a sort of slump. The culture that I experience in Budapest is not exactly "Hungarian" culture. It makes me really jealous to see the experiences that other volunteers are having in rural Hungary. I've never really celebrated any of the holidays. I don't have a group of Hungarian people that I call "my family here". I don't even have much of a relationship with my workplace.
A lot of it comes from being in the city and I have loved being in the city, don't get me wrong. It's an amazing place and I've had experiences that are different. It's just not the experience one hopes to have during a year of service. In fact, I can look back and wonder "Who did I serve?" I spent all my time just trying to build relationships... and have them broken.

As it is with any job, it takes about 2 months to find my place at each placement... and about that time, it's coming to an end. I was at the school for 2 months, trying to make it work. I was at the tanoda for 4 months (but they were closed 1.5 of those - 2 weeks for Christmas, then 1 month in February). I've been at the children's house for 1.5 months. I'm not sure how long they'll stay open (do they take the school schedule and end in June?), but hopefully this one sticks.

My new job has been great for Hungarian improvement, learning to play with babies and inclusion at high cultural events on the weekends... but still lacks in normal, everyday culture.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I had only two expectations this year: learn Hungarian, learn Hungarian culture. I've learned Hungarian... and I've learned BUDAPEST culture, which is a lot different... and aside from everything written in Hungarian, this culture could very easily be transplanted into the states, so it's not very different at all.

*~*~*

There are some really cool tourist attractions in the city - sometimes they're the ones that everyone goes to... others, you have to search for. When Jeff and Katharine and I were wandering in the Castle District, we decided to do try the underground cave labyrinth. After searching for a bit, we found it! And now, I want to share the experience with you :)

Jeff and Katharine are patiently waiting for me as I "oooh" and "ahhh" over a cave café near the entrance.

Here we go! I'm going to be giving you a little tour via the pictures. One funny note: as we entered, we were each given a guide as we bought our tickets. Jeff and Katharine got English ones and I got... a Hungarian one. YES! I was mistaken for a Hungarian! :P I was pretty proud of myself :)

This is the keeper of the labyrinth - we saw him periodically throughout the labyrinth, guiding us along...

Ancient Hungarians believed in Shamanism. This is a Shaman dressed in wolf clothing and a deer mask.

According to Hungarian legend, the Magic Deer is the ancestress of the Hungarians. This is a Magic Deer being chased by two men, Hunor and Magor (representing the Huns and the Magyars).

Also according to legend, Attila the Hun inherited a mythical sword given by God to Scythian kings. He swung this sword and declared his desire to "conquer and reconcile all peoples of the world." This is a symbol of his sword being guarded by Hun soldiers.

"The Lost Rider"

"Labyrinth Cross"

Hungary was first established in 896. In the year 1000, St. Stephen started to widely spread Christianity. You may remember St. Stephen as the first king of Hungary. I'm not quite sure how he was king for 104 years, but maybe he didn't start right away. Or, maybe the guide in the Labyrinth is wrong.
Anyway, this is a Baptismal Font in honor of Christianity.

Mongols (Tartars) invaded in 1241 and nearly destroyed the country. This corrider reminds us of this invasion.

now what?

We followed the smell of wine. Mathias Corvinus was the first king to come to power without any "dynastic link". This was his wine fountain. Not sure if it's the exact one or if it's a replica. My guess is that it's a replica.

ewwww!

In 1526, the Ottoman Empire destroyed the Hungarian forces in the epic Battle of Mohács (the one AFTER the Búsós, as you may remember from my trip to Mohács, Hungary). In this battle, they also killed the Hungarian king and the independent Hungarian kingdom. This is a sculpture of the fall of the king, still wearing his crown. (it's the just top of his face - from his nose up)

As we walked along, there were different sounds being projected. The first was a simple heartbeat. There were long, slow sounds. There were shorter, happy sounds. In this place, all of the sounds came together to form a beautiful arrangement.
"Who turns and looks back from the middle? And the soul swings out from standstill. In the music of the Ivy Grotto, all the rhythms and tunes of the wanderings through the labyrinth can be heard. All the tunes. In tune. In harmony." (taken from our guide book)

and now, our guide, pointed us in the direction to go home...

A couple prayer requests

2010-04-12T05:02:00.005-04:00

* Tonight I said goodbye to one of my roommates, Silke. It's not a permanent 'goodbye', but she got on a train to go to Germany. I came home from my travels to find her in a temporary cast and bouncing around our flat with the help of crutches. As best I can translate, it is probably her ACL that was torn during a frisbee tournament (she plays Ultimate Frisbee). She's headed back to Germany for an MRI and if surgery is needed, she'll have that done there, where she can rest and recover with her family. However, she could be gone for 2 weeks or 2 months... Pray for healing, wisdom and a swift recovery for Silke.

* Andrea was thinking about going home. This hasn't been an easy year for anyone, but Andrea has had a hard time at her work. Finally, she called them the week before Easter and told them that she couldn't go back to work there. She told us that she's going home for Easter and isn't sure she wanted to come back. However, she came back (yay!) but still needs to find a new place to work. Pray for a smooth transition and an open mind and heart for Andrea.

* the many volunteers here (in Hungary and Slovakia). I had the opportunity to travel and hang out with three volunteers in Slovakia and they each voiced frustrations and pain that they're going through. Each volunteer is being faced with a great number of questions: "What do I do with the time left here?" "Did I accomplish anything this year?" "Why did I come?" "What do I do when I get home?" "What is this year supposed to mean to me?" "How do I keep going here, while preparing to go home?" ... I feel so blessed to at least have some of the questions about the future answered for me. While I'm not sure where I'll stay, I do know that I have at least one job to go back to. I also know that there are some 'higher ups' in the other company I worked for that are trying to get me back in there. I could possibly step right back in to the routine I found myself last June. Not a bad thing at all and I know that when volunteers express stress about this, I have nothing to stress about. However, being a bit older... or being a good listener... or maybe not being stressed myself, lead to a lot of people confiding in me. There are struggles that are very very real that I wish I could give advice for, but I can't. God has those answers that I don't have, so I just ask that you pray for those who are faced with uncertainty and inner struggles. It's hard being away from home and making these decisions or evaluating your situation.

Krisztus feltámadott! Alleluja!

2010-04-10T03:45:00.000-04:00

(Christ is risen! Hallelujah!)

Easter has come to an end and the celebrations ended, just as another celebration began :) (my big 2-7 birthday)

The Easter season began on Palm Sunday or "Virág Vasárnap" (Flower Sunday) with a church service and the traditional dancing with palm leaves and "Hallelujah"s. I had honestly forgotten which Sunday it was until I got to church that morning.

Then at work that week, we decorated eggs with paint and beads. I have never felt so creative in my life :P Also, there was one egg that I decorated with the help of Zita, a three year old girl :)

On Maundy Thursday, (which is named for the last commandment that Jesus gave us after his last supper), we gathered at church and partook of the Communion elements. It was a nice, intimate service, but very meaningful.

On Good Friday, there was no school or work for any of my flatmates. Because of this, everyone started to do some traveling. That evening, we had a worship service that became dark, which was nice since that's what we do in the states. There was also a couple people that performed a saxophone duet (Aaron and I) with "Were You There?" It was fun to arrange music and play again.

On Saturday, I welcomed some American couchsurfers into my home (www.couchsurfing.com). Diana and Greg came while on vacation from school in Germany. Alen came while on vacation from school in London. All of them were originally from California and it was fun to show some fellow Americans around my city. Plus, there was a big pillow fight in the center of Budapest, so we went and participated in that.

On Sunday morning, we awoke to the sound of church bells. Our Easter celebration included a potluck lunch, which was DELICIOUS. It's great to have a potluck here because everything is a specialty from different countries (US, Poland, Hungary, Iraq, etc). After church, Matt and Kristen invited me and my couchsurfers to the boys' flat for an American Easter dinner (complete with ham and french fries). So, Alen and I joined them and it was a great way to finish "Easter Weekend".

But wait! There's more! Easter doesn't end on Sunday here. All of the businesses are closed and the celebration continues as "Wet Monday". It's tradition for boys to visit girls, say a rhyme and pour water or perfume on their heads. Luckily, I avoided this by hanging out with Alen, who had no knowledge of this tradition. We headed to an outdoor museum and saw some Hungarian heritage homes from various regions in Hungary.

Quite a weekend, and yet, wait until I tell you what I did the next week. However, that's for another time.
As a cliffhanger...

Blessings to you from Slovakia!
~Trazy

*~*~*

Szent Istvan Basilika was built between 1851 and 1905 in honor of St. Stephen, the first king of the Kingdom of Hungary.

A view of the inside:

then we decided to climb up some stairs to see the look-out in the top of the cathedral.

364 stairs later...

this is my city :)

Also in this cathedral/basilica, is the mummified right hand ("The Holy Right") of St. Stephen, but every time I go to check it out, something is happening in the church that prevents me from viewing it. This particular time was a funeral in the Chapel of the Holy Right. Maybe next time :)

God in Human Experience - A Reflection

2010-04-02T19:10:00.005-04:00

God weeps
at love withheld,
at strength misused,
at children's innocence abused,
and, till we change the way we love,
God weeps.

God bleeds
at anger's fist,
at trust betrayed,
at women battered and afraid,
and, till we change the way we win,
God bleeds.

God cries
at hungry mouths,
at running sores,
at creatures dying without cause,
and, till we change the way we care,
God cries.

God waits
for stones to melt,
for peace to seed,
for hearts to hold each other's need,
and, till we understand the Christ,
God waits.

words by Shirley Erena Murray, put to music by Ian P. Render in the Church Hymnary 4 printed by Canterbury Press

Dear friends,

2010-04-01T17:52:00.003-04:00

I hope you all had a pleasant April Fool's day.
My apologies for not making my joke post a little more ridiculous so as to give it away easier, but you have to understand - from my standpoint, the reactions were good :)

Budapest is calm. Yes, there are elections on April 11th and yes, there are some political actions happening because of them, but definitely less than the average American sees every fourth October.
Yes, there was a Nobel Prize winner that actually said that about Hungarians. I think he is/was Hungarian as well. It's one of the most popular quotes for ex-pats here to quote.

Yes, a lot of the lights in the city were turned off and yes, there were drummers and dancers in the castle. Actually, they were all part of the same group and it was in conjunction with Earth Hour 2010. For one hour, the lights went off and people danced in the dark at the castle. It was great fun and raised awareness for the growing need to be respectful of our temporary home: Earth.

The pictures were from an underground labyrinth we discovered when Katharine was here. The video was a real video of the Earth Hour celebrations.

telegraph machine? aliens eating my face? chasing out only Richters?... i mean... do i really need to explain these silly clues that should have triggered "this doesn't sound right" thoughts.

the itinerary was your basic itinerary pulled off of Kayak.com
and if there was really an issue happening, do you REALLY think the other 4 would stay behind?

thank you for all who got it :)
thank you to those who inspired :)
thank you for all who fell for it - my roommate, Silke, and I laughed at you. and we're still laughing at you :)

love, Trazy

*~*~*

The Budapest Opera House.
Did you know that you can watch things in here for like $2 a ticket? seriously! okay, our seats were a little more expensive because the cheap seats were sold out, but Silvia and I have tickets to watch "Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs" Ballet for about $2 each. CRAZY

Jeff and Katharine and I experienced the Budapest Philharmonic Orchestra and Choir performing pieces from the opera of "Dózsa György," which was written after a very historical figure (extremely culturally relevant!). This trip to the opera was not only dream worthy, but also educational! Score!

Evacuation

2010-03-31T17:42:00.003-04:00

I have some serious and urgent news. You see, there was a part of our 2 week training to which I didn't really pay attention. It was the part about security risks and emergency evacuations. I didn't feel like it would ever pertain to me, since Hungary, despite its tumultuous past, seems to be a rather peaceful country.

This is only the way it appears from the outside.
The events of the last few days are ones that will probably scar me for the rest of my life. I want to be able to look back on this experience with a smile, so I can only pray that God allows my heart to rest soon.

I read a quote by a Nobel prize winner once. He was asked if he believed in aliens. He responded "Yes, I believe they live among us. They are called Hungarians."
Everyone thought he was kidding or being mean. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's not funny anymore.
With elections coming on April 11th, two rival 'parties' have started to rage war.

This began this last week with a simple act. One group turned off all the lights on Parlament, Castle Hill, St. Stephen's Basilica, Citadella, the Chain Bridge, and many other BIG places throughout the city. The other party, in protest, started banging on drums and revealing their true nature.

The city has broken out in violence. People have started to become no longer people. Think I'm kidding? Check out these pictures. I thought they were cute at first... we all did. Kinda like baby bears. They're cute until they try to eat your face!

Anyway, I need to cut to the chase. I don't have internet access, this is all being typed out by a telegraph machine I found in the local grocery store.

All Richters are being evacuated. Seems they have a thing for judges in any language. Since Richter is German for "judge," I have to get out of the country.
I'm posting my itinerary here for only a few hours in fear that if THEY find out, I'll be stopped. Please please please do not post this ANYWHERE!

again I repeat - this is a matter of life or death.
DO NOT POST THIS ANYWHERE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE OR SHOOT, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. They can read your minds!

This is my itinerary and I need you to pick me up from the airport. Given the severe trauma that I've faced in the last week, this is not the time for me to be stranded somewhere.

LOT Polish Air
Flight 534 Departs: 9:30a
Ferihegy (BUD) Arrives: 10:40a
Frederic Chopin (WAW)
Coach | Embraer RJ145 Amazon (Regional Jet ) | 1h 10m
Layover in Warsaw, Poland (WAW) for 1h 30m
LOT Polish Air
Flight 1 Departs: 12:10p
Frederic Chopin (WAW) Arrives: 3:15p
O'Hare International (ORD)
Coach | Boeing 767-300 (Wide-body Jet) | 10h 05m
Layover in Chicago, IL (ORD) for 1h 40m
United
Flight 7504
Operated by Shuttle America Departs: 4:55p
O'Hare International (ORD) Arrives: 6:45p
Gerald R. Ford Intl (GRR)

Please pray for Jeff, Matt, Kristy and Emilie. They've all decided to join forces fighting the aliens and fight for the rights of the Richters and Hungarian people everywhere.

PS - if you don't believe me, this is the video from when they turned off the lights and then protested with drums.

A lesson in Viticulture

2010-03-27T05:43:00.004-04:00

When Jeff, Katharine and I returned to Budapest after an experience out in the country, we quickly realized that it would be the most clear night in Budapest. We made plans to go to the castle district so that we could overlook the city at night. My brilliant plan was to introduce Katharine to something that Hungarians take a LOT of pride in: their wine.
With the help of some very friendly shop clerks (I gave them three specifications: magyar (Hungarian), vörös (red) and fél-édes (semi-sweet) and they provided me with exactly what I needed!), I found a most delicious wine. When we were overlooking the city, it occured to me that I know very little about this product of which Hungarians are so proud. So... I did a little research. Allow me to enlighten you.

Grape vines were introduced to this area by the Romans. When St. Stephen founded the Kingdom of Hungary in 1000AD, Christianity began to spread. With it, the monasteries spread the use of wine in popular culture. Before they knew it, Hungarian vines were being exported! Sadly, when the Turks invaded, people fled and many of the vineyards went uncultivated. About a hundred years later, fearing an attack from Turks, the grapes were left unharvested until after rot had set in. In the spring, the wine that came from these grapes was of incomparable value. This is the phenomenon known as "Noble Rot."
Today, there are 22 different "wine regions" and each of these regions are known for producing different types of wine. For example:
Sopron has elegant reds,
Pécs has mainly whites,
Szekszárd has spiced, full-bodied reds,
Eger is famous for both full-bodied whites and an elegant red blend known as "Bull's Blood,"
and Tokaj has the "Noble Rot" variety.
The following wine cellars are found mostly in the Tokaj region. They are all built into the ground, where temps are regulated and mold/fungus is allowed to grow so that the wine can ferment to the highest quality.

I can honestly say I wasn't much of a wine drinker before arriving here. I can also say that I have learned to appreciate wines in a new light with all the history, pride and variety available. So, next time you're in the mood for a wine, try a bottle from Hungary. It'll be a lot more expensive than I'm paying, but it'll be worth it, I promise!

various wine cellars throughout Northern Hungary

these LARGE wine cellars are in Tokaj - "Vinum Regum, Rex Vinorum" (Wine of Kings, King of Wines)

No free time!!!

2010-03-26T10:33:00.000-04:00

Let me recap the two weeks for you - hopefully there will be stories to come, but for right now I just want to provide an excuse for my lack of updates.

March 12 - hanging out with Emily E. (volunteer in Slovakia) and her friend from home.
March 13 - interviews for Hungarians hoping to go to the USA and Italy
March 14 - saw Spamalot in the Madach Theatre with my 'host family'
March 15 - Hungarian National Holiday (like our July 4) - went to the Budapest Fine Arts Museum for free :) where I saw Monet's "White Water Lillies" in person!!! wow.
March 16 - went to work and then went and helped the Otterness' clean before they left.
March 17 - cooked a delicious breakfast for the Otterness', worked and then headed to Gönc and visited the dentist, came back to find our flat had more than doubled in occupancy and on top of that, because we're in the city center, everyone made our place the 'pre-party party' for St. Patrick's Day.
March 18-19 - Roma-Gadje Dialog Through Service initiative Seminar in Magyarkút, then Katharine arrived from Japan on Friday.
March 20-21 - we visited Nyírtelek and Görögszállás (where Jeff lives and works)
March 22-23 - sightseeing in Budapest
March 24 - deliver Katharine to the airport and catch up on sleep
and the last two days have been filled with work and other random extracurricular activities...

it doesn't look like things are getting any quieter, but hopefully I'll have time to write another message to you soon.

*~*~*

I recently got a wonderful gift from Home Acres Church. Inside of it was SOOO MUCH PEANUT BUTTER! it was so amazing! This is Silvia showing her smiling appreciation for the American wonder food :)

the best part about going to the dentist? this discovery: házi túro rétes (homemade sweet cheese pastry)

Apparently this is what you do when you see a political poster you don't like. :P Elections soon! April 11!

We (Jeff, Katharine and I) were in Jeff's town (Nyírtelek), when his pastor's daughter told us about a concert that she'd be performing in Budapest and invited us to go. Turns out to be 3 Japanese women choirs (funny since Katharine was in town from Japan) and 1 Hungarian girls choir. It was really cool - this is all of them come together for the final 2 songs.

two posts in a row with pictures of the escalators! and srsly, they are one of the first things people that fly to Budapest see, so it's always funny to see their reactions. Pictures really cannot describe how high/deep they are... but I try.

I started writing this so long ago, I forgot what pictures were here!

2010-03-24T05:20:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was a lot of adventure. I'm not even quite sure how to put it all into words. Let's just say it was a bittersweet morning turned to an interesting midday to a funny afternoon and a very very very random evening.

Yesterday morning, we said goodbye to two very important people here in Hungary: Dick and Carolyn Otterness. They went back to the states for 5 months, something that all missionaries are required to do every so often. They will have some personal time as well as an opportunity to follow up with the churches that support them. It's something that they need to do, but it's sad to see them go. They've been amazing support for all of us in Hungary and Slovakia. However, because they've always done more than we could imagine to support us, we (Jeff, Matt and I) decided to cook them breakfast. Nothing fancy, but it was nice to provide them with a good meal and share with them one last time.

Then I went to my placement. I didn't really do much except share youtube videos with Richi (my placement boss' son). I shared with him the videos from the GR zombie walk, pillow fight, airplane toss and other events. It was funny to watch him "oohing" and "ahhhing" over them. However, at one point, I was handed a 9 month old little girl named Boglarka (Bogi) while her mom got the other daughter ready. believe it or not, we both survived... and i handed her back to her mom LAUGHING! woah! :)

After my placement, I met Joe Angi, a PCUSA missionary and we headed to the Northern part of the country. We are extremely blessed here because there is a dentist up there who has offered his services to those of us working in the various causes here. This meant that when I started experiencing pain, I could go to him for the mere cost of travel (about $30). Joe and I drove through some villages while we wasted time (we were a little early) and shared in some of the amazing views from the roadside. (Pictures coming soon, I promise!) Anyway, we got there, got some stuff fixed and we headed back to the road.

Then, we headed to the middle of the eastern part of Hungary to Polgar, the town where Joe was born. Joe has an interesting story which involves his family leaving Hungary after the 1956 Revolution and relocating to the United States. Now he's back here with his wife and his father is back here as well. We went to Polgar to pick up his aunt and so it was neat to see some of the more personal history in this country. Also, apparently the center of the world is in Polgar, Hungary (there you have it! interesting facts according to Joe Angi!)

We arrived back in Budapest to find our apartment filled, or nearly filled. We welcomed Emilie, Livia, Emily, Lisa and Stefanie into our flat for the night. The reason we were so full is because we had a seminar starting the next day for RGDTS... and it was St. Patrick's Day! In true Budapest style, within minutes of my arrival, in piled 8 more people (4 of the Budapest boys and 4 Germans we hadn't met before). Chaos ensued. Laughter was had. Friends were made. When everyone left to go to the bar to celebrate in style, I had a chance to write about half of this. Then, I finished it today. wow.

*~*~*

One of the cool things about my new placement is the family that has seemed to adopt me. It's great! Richi (the son) and István (the dad) were performing poetry in honor of the National Holiday on March 15, so I got to attend this event. It was interesting and there were some good poems... and I even understood parts of them!

Also, check out these escalators! This is in Budapest and the girls in the picture are Emily and Stefanie. They're sooo deep and fast, it's surreal!

Mega-church style

2010-03-11T07:55:00.004-05:00

disclaimer: this post may offend. If you're still offended 12 hours from now, talk to me. I'd be interested to hear your opinion of what I've gotten wrong.

I often times talk about the fact that my sister and I want to do similar work with our lives, but then joke that we will never compete for the same job because she tends to favor larger, "mega-churches" while I tend to favor a small, community church.
Then, if the conversation is in English, the following question is often: "what do you have against mega-churches?" No matter where the person stands on mega-churches, I can always say that they just aren't where I see myself serving.

In the last 24 hours, I have realized why.
1) My home church sent me a care package. They've sent me two so far this year and I am so so so thankful for their continued love and support. I wonder... if I had been working for a mega-church, would this have happened? Sure, money MIGHT have been easier to come by, but the support that I've seen in other ways would have been, I think, way less.
2) Last night, I went to a Wednesday night Bible study at a mega-church mission here in Budapest. I have been going here FAIRLY regularly since October and have only had ONE PERSON ever say "hello" to me. We realized pretty quickly that there was a language barrier, but she still said "hi." Now, I'm not going here to be welcomed. I'm going to be led in personal worship and study... but to also practice my Hungarian pronunciation (singing is amazing for this!). I mean, I can't really say from experience that smaller churches are better, because I've rarely gone alone to a new church before... and if I have gone alone, it's been to Mars Hill or Resurrection Life in GR, and the experiences are pretty much the same.
3) I wrote an email to the people working with youth at this mega-church and because they have a conference coming up, I asked if they needed any help with anything. I explained my experience and offered my free time. It took the church over a week to get back to me and it seemed like my offer to help was way out of line, but what they could offer was that they needed help with practical things like preparing the lunches. They made it clear they had no place for me as a leader because they don't know me, but if I would accept the terms they laid out, I could come. As a former youth leader, I understand why I wouldn't be a leader. In fact, I never asked to be a leader (hello! I can't exactly hold a conversation in Hungarian, much less teach a lesson!). But the fact that they pitched 'making sandwiches' as a menial job and something that they really don't need help doing, but a place where they could put me really struck me. To me, providing lunch for hungry teenagers is a fairly important thing... so to make it feel unimportant didn't really make me want to sign up. Maybe it was a language/mis-communication thing, but to make those who want to help feel like they're needed, but not wanted didn't really appeal to me.
Maybe I've done the same thing in the past. In fact, I feel like I probably have. To have been on the receiving end now, I wish I could change those reactions.

unfortunately, after re-checking my calendar, I found that the weekend has been filled with other things since I first wrote them, so I won't be able to even attend as a sandwich maker.

Also, on a side-note, be praying for the homeless mission that this church has. It's the same homeless mission that I worked at one day last October? November?... however, Zsolt, the director, had a vision of moving the mission into a hotel for more space and actual beds for the homeless. Well, they found a hotel. And after a while, the landlord finally said "yes, you can rent this building from me!" WOW! Pray that God continues to move and clear this path.

I know that these churches are enabling some great ministries and I can't discount that. sadly, much like the megachurches in Michigan, the people who run the missions usually know how to be a church and if everyone would follow those workers' examples, the new people or regular church goers wouldn't be ABLE to remain anonymous.

Women's Day and Singleness

2010-03-08T17:12:00.006-05:00

Today was a well celebrated holiday here in Hungary: Nemzetkozi Noi Nap! International Women's Day! Unlike Mothers Day, this celebrates all women. People get chocolates or flowers for the important women in their lives. Employers often give their female employees gifts. Kids bring oranges to their teachers. All over Budapest, as I traveled home by trolli-busz, I saw women carrying flowers. We, at the girls' flat, celebrated by having a few boys over and sharing a meal together. Zoltán brought chocolates and flowers, and Matt and Timothée brought ice cream. :) Even if I don't understand the meaning, I do enjoy getting flowers and chocolates, so I'm all for it! :) (and yes, I did do some research and do understand it now. you still don't? http://en.wikipedia.org - search it out yourself :D)

Also, this is going to a be a longer blog post that will probably take me two evenings to properly write. There's been a topic that's come up a lot since I've been here and that is: Singleness (the art of being single) :P Mostly, it's come up in the form of "What ifs". Like "What if you find a nice Hungarian man?" or "What if so-and-so doesn't stay in contact with you for the year?" or "What if so-and-so met this year so that you could meet for lifelong love?" There have been others, but I don't really want to bring them all up again.
It's not a bad thing and it's something I've gotten used to answering, usually in light because I am a girl, and girls sometimes have easily manipulated hearts as far as feelings go. If someone suggests something, we can too easily work ourselves into thinking that we should also suggest it. It's a complicated matter and I just gave all you dudes a short look into the minds of women. Yikes, eh?
Anyway, nearly immediately after I left the states, I left with a lot of questions of "what if you hadn't left, do you think...?" Sadly, until recently, I think that by my listening to, and taking into consideration, these questions, I attempted to set myself up for failure.
You see, I'm not here to see if I can meet anyone (to be honest, I am praying AGAINST that!). I am not here to figure out love. I am not here to test a relationship of any sort. I'm here to give my life to God and see where THAT relationship goes, since in the end, it's the only relationship that will matter. Through that relationship also comes a love for others, but without a relationship with God, I believe that unconditional love cannot exist. If I spend time focusing on anything BESIDES God, it discounts the whole fact that He brought me here. We're still working on the "why?" part in it's entirety, but I do know that part of it was to get my mind off such menial things as "finding a mate."

One of the pleasures I've had since starting my time in Hungary is reading chapters of the Bible one at a time, meditating on scripture day and night. As I read 1 Corinthians 7, I was struck by what Paul was saying. Hey, single ladies! He calls us out. Do I have too much temptation to get married or do I really think that it's God's call for me? Or, am I called to live like Paul? Quite honestly, the thought of both possibilities is a little frightening at this point, even though, as one of my youth told me "you're getting up there." (Thanks, Michael! :P)

This being said, there was a funny moment yesterday that I would like to share with you. I came to the Gyermekekért to find that we wouldn't have kids today. In fact, we were getting a lot of new furniture. Because they rarely let women do manual labor here (it's a respect thing and I respect that, so don't get all feminist on me), they had some young men helping. One of them was Zsólt, the 22 year old son of one of the ladies who works here. At first glance, he seems like a good kid with a good heart (I mean, he's helping his mom - how cute is that?! :P) and good brain. But our conversation is limited due to the fact that, well, I still can't claim to speak Hungarian, no matter what people say :P As four of us were sitting around waiting for the furniture to arrive, we were talking about the foundation, the kids, the cultural event on Tuesday night, etc. At one point, the director said to his mom, "Let's go so that they can talk." "They" refers to me and Zsólt. After a moment of disbelief and shock, they were gone and left us alone in the room. Luckily we were able to stumble through a sort of conversation about where I'm from and what disco's I've been to in the city (which he thought was too short of a list). Then the ladies came back and asked if we'd been able to have a conversation. "Próbáltunk (we tried)." Wait. What just happened? :) Yeah... awkward? :P

Anyway, that's my story. Life here is good. I've been fairly busy experiencing things lately. Partly because of my new placement, partly because the sun decided to shine again on this part of the world.

things to note: I have added a couple more links to my list of fellow bloggers. By request, I've also added an email subscription box for those who couldn't figure out the other one.

*~*~*

I've done it. I've run out of pictures to share with you. Must - find - more.

This was on Raduly Istvan's desk when I went to his office. It's the Hungarian flag with another flag you might recognize. He received it as a gift during his most recent trip to the US and I have decided I must find one for myself.

Also, you may need to click on this one to enlarge it. This was the view from my front door one day: police tape. I never have any idea what's going on around our apartment, but this intrigued me to the point where I needed to ask someone. There were police cars blocking every intersection between me and the Parlament building, as well as taped off sidewalks. As I exited my flat, I even wondered how many times I would need to explain that I'm just going to the metro station :P Luckily, no one approached me, but as soon as I got where I was going, I asked my favorite American pastor in the Church of Scotland about it. Because he speaks both Enlish and Hungarian, we were able to do a little research and figure out that it was for an energy summit and a LOT of country leaders were coming to Budapest that day. Oh, the joys of living on Alkotmány (Constitution) utca!

Terezvárosi Gyerekekért Alapítvány

2010-03-07T07:06:00.000-05:00

The "Children's Garden Foundation of Teresa's City" is how the name translates. Let me tell you about my first week.

On Monday morning, Emese (our country coordinator) and I met and I was introduced to my new job. We went to the foundation and met the lady who runs it, her daughter and a few other workers. After going through all of the introductions (times for things, job ideas, what the foundation is all about, etc.), i shared a tea with one of the ladies and we stumbled through a Hungarian conversation. (note: no one speaks more than a little English here, so this is going to be really fun! :D) Then, some other teachers and I sat and painted for a while... and no children showed up. I left a little early and had lunch at the hospital and worked in the office.

On Tuesday morning, I went to the Gyerekekért and during that morning, we had 6 different children and 4 mothers. It was very interesting to watch the kids interact and to see some of their tendencies already.

On Wednesday, I went to the Gyerekekért and was told to keep my shoes on; I would be going somewhere. Turns out, Teri's (the lady who runs the Gyerekekért) husband works for the government with minority issues. He specifically works in the Roma department and I went and met with him. I got to go inside a Hungarian government building (thank goodness I was carrying my passport!) and follow Mr. Raduly around for a day. It was very interesting and definitely something that I wouldn't have gotten the chance to do with any other placement.

On Thursday, I got one of my amazing migraines, so life got put on hold.

However, on Friday, it was back to work. We had 7! kids on Friday, with 5 mothers. I wasn't so sure more could fit in after 6, so when we had 7, it was a full room :) I practiced my colors with a 3 year old, and drew pictures with a 2 year old. It's definitely challenging and tiring, but it has potential to be really fun :) Also, Teri invited me to come to her family's home for a weekend (they live outside the city) and also to a theatre performance next weekend with her family. Sadly, I can't spend the weekend at their home, but I may join them at the theatre. Next weekend, I will be helping the ÖDÉ staff with interviews for volunteers wanting to go to the USA and Italy.

Because my placement is mainly mornings only, I will be spending my afternoons regularly in the office doing everything from copying and sorting to sending out letters letting volunteers know that they've been chosen to come to Hungary. My current project is writing up short descriptions to send to the German/Italian/French/American/etc volunteers coming to Hungary so that they have an idea of what they'll be doing. It's really fun and interesting, and allows me to get a look into all the work that goes on behind the scenes in ÖDÉ :)

*~*~*

probably some of the most random pictures I could have ever chosen :) - i'm running out of pictures! haha!

here, i tried a recipe for oven-less cookies. It involved frying, which explains the reason they look like pancakes. They were yummy, but yet very strange. The things we do when we're living without :P

One night, we had a very spontaneous dinner - tacos (complete with homemade tortillas by yours truly) and Settlers of Catan (in Hungarian!) with Dick, Carolyn, Matt, John S. and I. It was a good time :)

"Keepers of the Lights" - I did some research hoping to find a historical reference to these guys, but couldn't find it. But this is around the famous "New York Palace Hotel" in Budapest, which is just across the street from the church I go to on Wednesday evenings. These "Keepers of the Light" illuminate your path and creep you out just a little bit. Angelic or demonic? You decide. They kinda remind me of some of the creatures from Chronicles of Narnia :P

I've been here six months and just had my first day of work...

2010-03-02T11:46:00.002-05:00

March 1st was my 6th month mark. Last month I celebrated my half-way day. In a couple weeks, we'll celebrate Day 200... it seems like we're entering the 'countdown to re-entry' stage. However, yesterday and today marked a few FIRSTS for me.

a) yesterday I started my first day of work at the Gyerekekért (literal translation: kid garden... like Kindergarten!... but not) I've decided to keep any further update until I've been there for a week, especially since there weren't any kids on my first day :P
b) Today I did something I thought I would never do - from the first time I stepped foot in a Hungarian household and was asked to take off my shoes and put on sandals, I REFUSED to put on flipflops while wearing socks. Today, i gave in. At the Gyerekekért, we have to take off our shoes (no tracking mud/small stones/street rubbish into the playroom!) and put on sandals. We're also supposed to bring said sandals from home. Well, the only sandals I have are my 3 or 4 pairs of flip flops (yeah, yeah... packing fail? :P) I wore socks with my flip flops. Yup.
c) if you would have told me a year ago that I'd be hanging out with 6 kids under the age of three, I would have probably said "no way, José - you can count me out." well, today, I did it. I survived. The kids survived. Whew.
d) I made a friend. A real, Hungarian friend. Someone I went out with tonight - we laughed, we talked, we shared some good times... yup. His name is Balazs and we'll probably hang out again.

It's been a good day :)

*~*~*

Randomness

One day, as I was walking home, I caught sight of this. A Trabant parade! Trabants were produced by East Germany and are commonly referred to as "Communist Cars," as they were widely sold in the Communist Bloc - however, they were also exported, but it's rare to see them elsewhere. There seem to still be quite a few of them around, even though they were discontinued in 1990.

This is a nice breakfast compare/contrast picture. You see three pieces of 'toast kenyer'/american style sliced bread. Two pieces have peanut butter (mad props to Jay Harsevoort for the provisions!) and one piece has the Hungarian food that I will probably miss the most: vajkrém. This literally translates to "butter cream," but it's more than that. It's only sorta butter. it's really more like whipped cream cheese with a light butter flavor. It's healthier than butter (so says my Hungarian reading roommate) and it's really quite tasty. We just don't have anything like it in the states.

For the next three pictures, I owe a thanks to Claire Sofi, Silvia's friend who came to visit for a while. Her pictures turned out amazing and I must tell you - these are NOT photoshopped or corrected in ANY way. Budapest is really this beautiful!
this is our front door/gate

The Danube in the winter. I am in love with my city all over again :)