I am back in Grand Rapids.
I am safe.
The rental car has been returned.
My stuff has been unpacked.
My laundry is clean and drying.
My memories are starting to get cataloged and pictures are being put in order.
This was an amazing trip.
Thank you for "traveling" with me :)
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Change of Plans
Note: This was written yesterday, but I never stopped for coffee like i said I would. Well, I stopped for coffee, just not at a restaurant.
*****
Today has been a very very busy day.
I started off at 6a from Junction, Texas and continued onward toward Houston. The highway I was on was going to take me south to San Antonio before headed east to Houston, so I hopped on a smaller highway. It was both the best and worst decision of the day. Best because I got to see a lot of "small town Texas" because it made me smile... Worst because in one of those small towns, there was a parade to celebrate their heritage and they closed down the highway and I got there right on time! Oh boy! :P
So, sadly, I arrived in Houston late, got a little lost through those awesome downtown highway systems and lots of traffic. I've decided that if I ever get asked how a city should be designed, I would have four major highways coming into the center - one from the north, south, east and west. If more highways would like to connect, then there can be a circle around the city that has lots of entrances and exits (think roundabout - only with more exits and on a much bigger scale). Anyway, I digress.
It was GREAT to see Kristina again and meet her son, even if it was just for a moment. We went out to a great restaurant and I had a VERY delicious chicken sandwich, made complete with crayons on the table (her son, Lennon, is 2) and some catching up with Kristina.
Then, I headed up to Granbury, Texas. On my way, as I drove through more small town, Texas, I called up the person I was staying with in Louisiana. Long story short: He needed to cancel. Thankfully I had a few hours to devise a plan B as I drove northward.
It was GREAT to see Mike and meet his family - it was fun to just sit on the porch and talk about nothing and everything. We went out to dinner and drove through his new home city. Then, after a little chilling, I crashed on his aunt and uncle's couch. I slept so well... until 4:30, when Mike left for work and I hit the road.
The new plans are still working themselves out, but I'm okay with all of them. So, the post tomorrow will be a mystery place. Yay for surprises!
*****
Remember when I talked about being able to see for miles in New Mexico? Well, I clocked it once and it was more than 10 miles. Aside from standing on the shore of Lake Michigan or being out on a mountain, I can't remember when I could ever see that far before... and this was just driving along.
It made those 10 miles pretty boring. I knew what was ahead. I knew there was going to be an upward climb and that the trucks would get caught up and I should probably be in the left lane. I knew that there were no service centers along that stretch and no police or broken-down cars or hitchhikers. I saw it all... before I really saw it. It was kinda weird.
There are so many moments in life that I wish I could see for miles. I wish I could see what's going to happen in the next 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks... or shoot, even 10 days. How boring would that REALLY be? If I knew I was going to die 10 years from now, I may do a lot of things, but I would spend the majority of my time thinking about my life and impending death instead of actually going out and living. If I knew what I was going to do and where I was going to go before it ever happened, it wouldn't be a very great life, really.
I'm thankful that that's not how life goes. That there's some unknown, some mystery, some chance for thrill... but as I drive today, i hope to think about and focus on these things:
How can I stop focusing so much on what the future is and start living day-to-day or minute-to-minute more?
When has life taken unexpected turns? Am I thankful for those times or do they cause separation?
In those hard times of unforeseen circumstances, how can I remember - first of all, God has got me - second of all, God has made this (Ecc. 714) - and third, there is a plan and I'm in it and this is in it, so embrace it?
*****
Today has been a very very busy day.
I started off at 6a from Junction, Texas and continued onward toward Houston. The highway I was on was going to take me south to San Antonio before headed east to Houston, so I hopped on a smaller highway. It was both the best and worst decision of the day. Best because I got to see a lot of "small town Texas" because it made me smile... Worst because in one of those small towns, there was a parade to celebrate their heritage and they closed down the highway and I got there right on time! Oh boy! :P
So, sadly, I arrived in Houston late, got a little lost through those awesome downtown highway systems and lots of traffic. I've decided that if I ever get asked how a city should be designed, I would have four major highways coming into the center - one from the north, south, east and west. If more highways would like to connect, then there can be a circle around the city that has lots of entrances and exits (think roundabout - only with more exits and on a much bigger scale). Anyway, I digress.
It was GREAT to see Kristina again and meet her son, even if it was just for a moment. We went out to a great restaurant and I had a VERY delicious chicken sandwich, made complete with crayons on the table (her son, Lennon, is 2) and some catching up with Kristina.
Then, I headed up to Granbury, Texas. On my way, as I drove through more small town, Texas, I called up the person I was staying with in Louisiana. Long story short: He needed to cancel. Thankfully I had a few hours to devise a plan B as I drove northward.
It was GREAT to see Mike and meet his family - it was fun to just sit on the porch and talk about nothing and everything. We went out to dinner and drove through his new home city. Then, after a little chilling, I crashed on his aunt and uncle's couch. I slept so well... until 4:30, when Mike left for work and I hit the road.
The new plans are still working themselves out, but I'm okay with all of them. So, the post tomorrow will be a mystery place. Yay for surprises!
*****
Remember when I talked about being able to see for miles in New Mexico? Well, I clocked it once and it was more than 10 miles. Aside from standing on the shore of Lake Michigan or being out on a mountain, I can't remember when I could ever see that far before... and this was just driving along.
It made those 10 miles pretty boring. I knew what was ahead. I knew there was going to be an upward climb and that the trucks would get caught up and I should probably be in the left lane. I knew that there were no service centers along that stretch and no police or broken-down cars or hitchhikers. I saw it all... before I really saw it. It was kinda weird.
There are so many moments in life that I wish I could see for miles. I wish I could see what's going to happen in the next 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks... or shoot, even 10 days. How boring would that REALLY be? If I knew I was going to die 10 years from now, I may do a lot of things, but I would spend the majority of my time thinking about my life and impending death instead of actually going out and living. If I knew what I was going to do and where I was going to go before it ever happened, it wouldn't be a very great life, really.
I'm thankful that that's not how life goes. That there's some unknown, some mystery, some chance for thrill... but as I drive today, i hope to think about and focus on these things:
How can I stop focusing so much on what the future is and start living day-to-day or minute-to-minute more?
When has life taken unexpected turns? Am I thankful for those times or do they cause separation?
In those hard times of unforeseen circumstances, how can I remember - first of all, God has got me - second of all, God has made this (Ecc. 714) - and third, there is a plan and I'm in it and this is in it, so embrace it?
Friday, August 26, 2011
Pieces of Me
I'm starting to get tired. I'm so excited that the next two nights will be spent in the same place: Shreveport, Louisiana (where apparently there's not much going on!).
Yesterday I drove about 13 hours through Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. I feel like I've been in Texas forever and there's still 5 hours left before I get to Houston. Today I'll be headed to Houston to see Kristina, a college friend, and her son (unfortunately her husband will be at work). Then I'll be going up to Dallas for dinner with Mike, another college friend. Following dinner, I'll have a short 2 hour ride to Shreveport, LA to see a Chris, a coworker and friend.
Yesterday was a day filled with interesting moments. At one point, I swear there was a tornado in the distance. There was a lot of rain and there were many storms along the way. Then I was stopped outside El Paso by border patrol. And let's not even talk about snake-infested rest areas. That was actually the main reason I stopped - I could have probably kept going, but gas stations were VERY few and far between and I had to go to the bathroom :P
Well, I'm off to get dressed and ready for my day :)
*****
Yesterday, I got the experience of going through Oatman, AZ. If you've never been to Oatman and you're ever in Northwestern Arizona, I suggest checking it out. It's a tiny town on Route 66 that has all sorts of touristy shops, but also some entertaining live bank robber shows (complete with a shoot out) and wild mules walking around. I stopped to get some postcard stamps at their very small post office. In the post office, there was a sign that said "save our post office!" with the address for state officials trying to shut down the historic office. It made me sad to think that something so historic and so unique could just be discarded.
This, of course, got me thinking about histories and pasts. How quick are we to want to forget the past and move forward... yet there's usually something we should be holding onto and cherishing, even from the rough patches. It may not be the first thing we think about or even the most economical thing to do, but if we remember our past and look back on it with fondness, then there's much to be learned and cherished.
So, today, as I jump from town to town reuniting with friends from my past, my thoughts will be not only on the fact that I will be able to take a break from driving for an entire day tomorrow... but also on the fact that I have a past. I have a story, a history... and as much as I want to focus on the future, there's something wonderful about my past. It has shaped me into who I am. I don't want to dwell on it, but use it as a time of remembering what God has brought me through and how each piece has come to define who I am today.
Yesterday I drove about 13 hours through Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. I feel like I've been in Texas forever and there's still 5 hours left before I get to Houston. Today I'll be headed to Houston to see Kristina, a college friend, and her son (unfortunately her husband will be at work). Then I'll be going up to Dallas for dinner with Mike, another college friend. Following dinner, I'll have a short 2 hour ride to Shreveport, LA to see a Chris, a coworker and friend.
Yesterday was a day filled with interesting moments. At one point, I swear there was a tornado in the distance. There was a lot of rain and there were many storms along the way. Then I was stopped outside El Paso by border patrol. And let's not even talk about snake-infested rest areas. That was actually the main reason I stopped - I could have probably kept going, but gas stations were VERY few and far between and I had to go to the bathroom :P
Well, I'm off to get dressed and ready for my day :)
*****
Yesterday, I got the experience of going through Oatman, AZ. If you've never been to Oatman and you're ever in Northwestern Arizona, I suggest checking it out. It's a tiny town on Route 66 that has all sorts of touristy shops, but also some entertaining live bank robber shows (complete with a shoot out) and wild mules walking around. I stopped to get some postcard stamps at their very small post office. In the post office, there was a sign that said "save our post office!" with the address for state officials trying to shut down the historic office. It made me sad to think that something so historic and so unique could just be discarded.
This, of course, got me thinking about histories and pasts. How quick are we to want to forget the past and move forward... yet there's usually something we should be holding onto and cherishing, even from the rough patches. It may not be the first thing we think about or even the most economical thing to do, but if we remember our past and look back on it with fondness, then there's much to be learned and cherished.
So, today, as I jump from town to town reuniting with friends from my past, my thoughts will be not only on the fact that I will be able to take a break from driving for an entire day tomorrow... but also on the fact that I have a past. I have a story, a history... and as much as I want to focus on the future, there's something wonderful about my past. It has shaped me into who I am. I don't want to dwell on it, but use it as a time of remembering what God has brought me through and how each piece has come to define who I am today.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The Importance of Family
Buenos dias de Phoenix, Arizona! It's a beautiful morning and already at 6a, it's 95 degrees. woooo weee! bring it on, AZ, bring it on!
Yesterday was a HOT day in the southwestern US. I started off at 110 degrees and headed toward Nevada. On the way, I took old Route 66 through the mountains. I cannot BELIEVE trucks used to go through there before I-40. I was scared that my little car was going to go over the ledges! I stopped for a brief time in Oatman, AZ and met the local burros and wandered the old streets and took in a piece of history.
From there, I headed to Laughlin, Nevada, which reminded me of a miniature Las Vegas with a strip of casinos.
And... then I headed south to check out Needles, California. US-95 is a strange road and I can't wait to take this little trip with someone someday. Between that road and route 66, it was not a boring drive at all!
Then I hopped on I-10 and headed into Phoenix. I hit it right at rush hour and enjoyed some bumper-to-bumper traffic :D
And now I'm here - at my uncle's and aunt's home. I haven't seen them in 20 years. I haven't seen my cousin Chad since he was a baby and I'd never met my cousins, Kerason and Brooklyn. It was so great reuniting and sharing stories and reliving memories and just... well, being family!
Prayer Request: My left eye is sore. It's not red or swollen (yet), but I kinda need my eyes to be OPEN and GOOD to drive.
*****
Part of this trip's point was to reconnect with my family. It's hard to believe that I have two different family units in Arizona (who are not directly related - one from dad's side, one from mom's side) whom I've never visited before. It's harder to believe that no one from my immediate family has seen their homes. It was time.
There's a lot of people that come and go from our lives, but the people that will ALWAYS be there are family. Now, I know some families where that's not true and it's sad... but I think that even when push comes to shove, most families can even see beyond their differences if needed. It is so important to maintain our familiar relationships.
I haven't always been the best at it, but it's gotten better. As I think about the fact that there's a new baby coming into our family VERY SOON, I wonder how our family will grow and how much joy it will bring.
I also think about the fact that my grandfather is losing his memories and how much sadness that brings our family... while the other grandfather is celebrating his 90th birthday in a couple weeks.
I think about my own family relationships that have grown up quite a bit and how much I've matured in my outlook on family during the last few years.
My thoughts as I'm driving today:
Where does family fit in my life?
Do I let my family know how much I love them? How can I show them more?
(of course) Hey God! Do I get to start my OWN family someday?
Yesterday was a HOT day in the southwestern US. I started off at 110 degrees and headed toward Nevada. On the way, I took old Route 66 through the mountains. I cannot BELIEVE trucks used to go through there before I-40. I was scared that my little car was going to go over the ledges! I stopped for a brief time in Oatman, AZ and met the local burros and wandered the old streets and took in a piece of history.
From there, I headed to Laughlin, Nevada, which reminded me of a miniature Las Vegas with a strip of casinos.
And... then I headed south to check out Needles, California. US-95 is a strange road and I can't wait to take this little trip with someone someday. Between that road and route 66, it was not a boring drive at all!
Then I hopped on I-10 and headed into Phoenix. I hit it right at rush hour and enjoyed some bumper-to-bumper traffic :D
And now I'm here - at my uncle's and aunt's home. I haven't seen them in 20 years. I haven't seen my cousin Chad since he was a baby and I'd never met my cousins, Kerason and Brooklyn. It was so great reuniting and sharing stories and reliving memories and just... well, being family!
Prayer Request: My left eye is sore. It's not red or swollen (yet), but I kinda need my eyes to be OPEN and GOOD to drive.
*****
Part of this trip's point was to reconnect with my family. It's hard to believe that I have two different family units in Arizona (who are not directly related - one from dad's side, one from mom's side) whom I've never visited before. It's harder to believe that no one from my immediate family has seen their homes. It was time.
There's a lot of people that come and go from our lives, but the people that will ALWAYS be there are family. Now, I know some families where that's not true and it's sad... but I think that even when push comes to shove, most families can even see beyond their differences if needed. It is so important to maintain our familiar relationships.
I haven't always been the best at it, but it's gotten better. As I think about the fact that there's a new baby coming into our family VERY SOON, I wonder how our family will grow and how much joy it will bring.
I also think about the fact that my grandfather is losing his memories and how much sadness that brings our family... while the other grandfather is celebrating his 90th birthday in a couple weeks.
I think about my own family relationships that have grown up quite a bit and how much I've matured in my outlook on family during the last few years.
My thoughts as I'm driving today:
Where does family fit in my life?
Do I let my family know how much I love them? How can I show them more?
(of course) Hey God! Do I get to start my OWN family someday?
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Breathtaking, Amazing, Beautiful... Like a Dream
You think I just looked in a mirror, don't you? :) haha!
Yesterday was amazing. After refueling on coffee and gas, I was headed to my grand destination: the GRAND CANYON!!!
It's just like the pictures. It's the most breath-taking sight I've ever seen. In fact, at my first vantage point, I teared up a bit. I couldn't believe the beauty, the grandeur, the serenity that filled me... just... WOW!
There was no cell service at the Grand Canyon, so for 5 hours, I was unreachable and undisturbed. It made the experience even more perfect, actually. I took lots of pictures, got a nice sunburn and emptied lots of bottles of water (I promise that I'm recycling!)
Upon leaving the Grand Canyon, there was a nice little rainstorm, but other than that, it was gorgeous weather. I couldn't have asked for anything better and the pictures will show that.
As I left and regained connectivity, I stopped and got a pie from Williams, Arizona (the town that the movie "Cars" is created to look like) because they supposedly have the best pie in Arizona and I was headed to my aunt's house for dinner. Then I began my 2 hour journey into the desert.
There are scorpions, rattlesnakes and tarantulas. There are cacti. There is a LOT of sand. There are desert bunnies and more cacti. HAHA! My aunt lives in a beautiful setting - in a valley surrounded by mountains.
Anyway, after a big meal with my aunt, her partner Teri and my cousin Todd, let me tell you: that pie WAS the best pie in Arizona. It was huge and delicious! So, if you're ever in Williams, AZ, stop at the Pine Country Restaurant and have a slice of (or a whole) pie!
Now I'm headed on a sightseeing tour of Arizona, Nevada and California and will return to Phoenix, AZ for dinner with another side of my family tonight :)
*****
I honestly have no thoughts except that the Grand Canyon was so beautiful, I couldn't help but praise Him all day yesterday.
Today, no matter what happens, I hope to remember how great, how wonderful, how AWESOME our God is and will be forevermore.
Yesterday was amazing. After refueling on coffee and gas, I was headed to my grand destination: the GRAND CANYON!!!
It's just like the pictures. It's the most breath-taking sight I've ever seen. In fact, at my first vantage point, I teared up a bit. I couldn't believe the beauty, the grandeur, the serenity that filled me... just... WOW!
There was no cell service at the Grand Canyon, so for 5 hours, I was unreachable and undisturbed. It made the experience even more perfect, actually. I took lots of pictures, got a nice sunburn and emptied lots of bottles of water (I promise that I'm recycling!)
Upon leaving the Grand Canyon, there was a nice little rainstorm, but other than that, it was gorgeous weather. I couldn't have asked for anything better and the pictures will show that.
As I left and regained connectivity, I stopped and got a pie from Williams, Arizona (the town that the movie "Cars" is created to look like) because they supposedly have the best pie in Arizona and I was headed to my aunt's house for dinner. Then I began my 2 hour journey into the desert.
There are scorpions, rattlesnakes and tarantulas. There are cacti. There is a LOT of sand. There are desert bunnies and more cacti. HAHA! My aunt lives in a beautiful setting - in a valley surrounded by mountains.
Anyway, after a big meal with my aunt, her partner Teri and my cousin Todd, let me tell you: that pie WAS the best pie in Arizona. It was huge and delicious! So, if you're ever in Williams, AZ, stop at the Pine Country Restaurant and have a slice of (or a whole) pie!
Now I'm headed on a sightseeing tour of Arizona, Nevada and California and will return to Phoenix, AZ for dinner with another side of my family tonight :)
*****
I honestly have no thoughts except that the Grand Canyon was so beautiful, I couldn't help but praise Him all day yesterday.
Today, no matter what happens, I hope to remember how great, how wonderful, how AWESOME our God is and will be forevermore.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Rain On the Plain
OMG I'M HERE!!!
I'm in Flagstaff, Arizona at a nice European cafe and bakery. This place is crazy cute. If I lived here, I would be here every day. Or at least once a week. It's like my Boba - cool, good coffee and unique. I love it!
Yesterday's travels took me through the remainder of Oklahoma. Oklahoma, mind you, is flat. It's a good thing I conquered that in the early morning because I would have been very bored in the evening.
In Texas, I encountered a couple things: MORE road construction... and rattlesnakes. I pull into a rest area (really, I just needed to pee!) and there's a sign that says "Beware of snakes" right as you enter. I almost turned around, but i had to GO! I pull in and next to my car is another sign that says "Danger: Rattlesnakes." I'm good, thanks. This city girl doesn't do snakes even when she was a country girl. Thankfully none crossed my path, but it makes for a good short story, eh?
Then I entered uncharted territory and said "Hello" to New Mexico for the first time. It's a BEAUTIFUL state, but also can be a bit boring as you're driving through all those ranches. There's nothing but brown grass and 2-foot-tall shrubs for miles! I stopped for dinner and treated myself to some Cracker Barrel while trying to stay awake.
I entered Arizona at around 7p local time (10p Michigan-time) and managed to make it all the way to Flagstaff. I was worried. It was a long day and I was very very very tired. My plan was to stay with a couchsurfer (for more information: couchsurfing.org). I pulled up to their home to discover no lights on. I gave the husband a call (my main contact) and turns out he had texted that they had an emergency, but he'd found me another couch. This is what I love about couchsurfers - there's never "no room." I ended up going to stay with his friend, Donnelly, who was delightful. Among moving boxes, 4 cats, 2 dogs and 3 people, she made the couch cozy and I SLEPT WELL. (Also, for all you couchsurfing skeptics - I'm still alive :P) She pointed me to 2 things: the best coffee in Flagstaff and the best pie in Arizona. I must admit, the coffee IS good. I'll let you know how the pie is later.
And now, I'm headed off to the Grand Canyon! Have a great day!
*****
Yesterday, there were a couple things that struck me. One was being able to see for miles (at one point, I could see for 10+ miles - i drove it from one landmark to another and watched my odometer). The other, because I was able to see for miles, was the storms. Some of the storms were quite powerful, producing lightning and heavy rain. However, as someone driving a ways off, they seemed small.
I couldn't help but think of the storms we experience in Michigan sometimes. They have heavy wind, lots of rain, lots of lightning and nearly constant thunder. Sometimes they knock out power. For those few moments, all we know are those storms. We get scared. We take shelter. We worry. Sometimes they last for hours and we wonder if they'll ever end.
In the same way, storms strike our lives and we experience a lot of those same things. Worst of all, these storms can cause us to lose our joy, our hope, and our faith.
Driving through that desert and seeing the small size of those storms made me think of how God sees my storms. I make such a big deal out of the trials and tribulations and yet, God is watching over. Is He thinking, "really, Trazy, it's almost over. See? There's the sun!"
My thoughts today, as I experience a beautiful day at the Grand Canyon:
What small storms have I turned into hurricanes?
What causes me to lose faith during those hard times and how can I see the sun on the other side?
How can I use my storms to BUILD my faith instead of losing it?
I'm in Flagstaff, Arizona at a nice European cafe and bakery. This place is crazy cute. If I lived here, I would be here every day. Or at least once a week. It's like my Boba - cool, good coffee and unique. I love it!
Yesterday's travels took me through the remainder of Oklahoma. Oklahoma, mind you, is flat. It's a good thing I conquered that in the early morning because I would have been very bored in the evening.
In Texas, I encountered a couple things: MORE road construction... and rattlesnakes. I pull into a rest area (really, I just needed to pee!) and there's a sign that says "Beware of snakes" right as you enter. I almost turned around, but i had to GO! I pull in and next to my car is another sign that says "Danger: Rattlesnakes." I'm good, thanks. This city girl doesn't do snakes even when she was a country girl. Thankfully none crossed my path, but it makes for a good short story, eh?
Then I entered uncharted territory and said "Hello" to New Mexico for the first time. It's a BEAUTIFUL state, but also can be a bit boring as you're driving through all those ranches. There's nothing but brown grass and 2-foot-tall shrubs for miles! I stopped for dinner and treated myself to some Cracker Barrel while trying to stay awake.
I entered Arizona at around 7p local time (10p Michigan-time) and managed to make it all the way to Flagstaff. I was worried. It was a long day and I was very very very tired. My plan was to stay with a couchsurfer (for more information: couchsurfing.org). I pulled up to their home to discover no lights on. I gave the husband a call (my main contact) and turns out he had texted that they had an emergency, but he'd found me another couch. This is what I love about couchsurfers - there's never "no room." I ended up going to stay with his friend, Donnelly, who was delightful. Among moving boxes, 4 cats, 2 dogs and 3 people, she made the couch cozy and I SLEPT WELL. (Also, for all you couchsurfing skeptics - I'm still alive :P) She pointed me to 2 things: the best coffee in Flagstaff and the best pie in Arizona. I must admit, the coffee IS good. I'll let you know how the pie is later.
And now, I'm headed off to the Grand Canyon! Have a great day!
*****
Yesterday, there were a couple things that struck me. One was being able to see for miles (at one point, I could see for 10+ miles - i drove it from one landmark to another and watched my odometer). The other, because I was able to see for miles, was the storms. Some of the storms were quite powerful, producing lightning and heavy rain. However, as someone driving a ways off, they seemed small.
I couldn't help but think of the storms we experience in Michigan sometimes. They have heavy wind, lots of rain, lots of lightning and nearly constant thunder. Sometimes they knock out power. For those few moments, all we know are those storms. We get scared. We take shelter. We worry. Sometimes they last for hours and we wonder if they'll ever end.
In the same way, storms strike our lives and we experience a lot of those same things. Worst of all, these storms can cause us to lose our joy, our hope, and our faith.
Driving through that desert and seeing the small size of those storms made me think of how God sees my storms. I make such a big deal out of the trials and tribulations and yet, God is watching over. Is He thinking, "really, Trazy, it's almost over. See? There's the sun!"
My thoughts today, as I experience a beautiful day at the Grand Canyon:
What small storms have I turned into hurricanes?
What causes me to lose faith during those hard times and how can I see the sun on the other side?
How can I use my storms to BUILD my faith instead of losing it?
Monday, August 22, 2011
Step To the Ledge
GOOD MORNING! from an Economy Inn in Oklahoma City, OK (where it's not very windy on the plain, actually...)
I got into OKC around 10p last night. I'm just on the eastern edge of it - the first set of cheap motels I saw and I turned in. I had several to choose from, so I went with the lowest advertised price with WIFI. I love shady motels. There's really nothing more entertaining than laying in bed and wondering if you'll end up with lice or fleas or bed bugs :P
Anyway, yesterday's drive was a looong one. I headed out after stopping back at the hotel (you know my main contact that wasn't answering his phone? he finally called back! Haha!) I got out of Indiana and into Illinois before I even made my first pit stop. As I got closer to St. Louis, Missouri, I loved seeing the arch mark its entrance to the west. I got so excited to go into "The West" that I almost ran into the car in front of me. Apparently traffic was backed up like woah.
The entrance into "the West" isn't very exciting when you're sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. In case anyone's traveling into St. Louis, there's major construction - be prepared. In fact, there's major construction happening in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Oklahoma. It's a good time :P
As I headed into the Ozarks, I stopped to take a break at the World's Largest Rocking Chair. Things like that make me smile.
Oklahoma has been a series of turnpikes, which is fast travel, but you gotta pay for it. I've coughed up $4 twice now and I think I'll have to do it again. Thank goodness I remembered to get some cash out just in case :P
Today, I'm headed as far as I can - with Flagstaff, AZ as my goal.
*****
Yesterday, as I was going up and down and around in the Ozarks, there was a moment of fear that struck me. The speed limit was 60 or 65, i can't remember. Whatever it was, I was going a little bit faster than that. I went around a curve and saw that there was quite a drop off the ledge. Not a big deal, it's the Ozarks, right? Well the kicker? There was NO GUARDRAIL! One mistake could have sent me over the edge and barreling down into the unknown. The only thing keeping me on the road was my responsible driving (maybe less responsible since I remember I was speeding just a bit) and faith that I was going to stay on the road.
How many times have a walked along the ledge of life, though? I'm not talking about taking a leap of faith of the edge into the great pool of promise that God has given us. I'm talking about the times when I push the limits. Those times that I go through life speeding just because I can. Those times I think "this is more fun than playing it safe" or "most people call it stupid or irresponsible, I call it adventurous" or "this will make me happy for the moment, I'll deal with consequences later"... etc.
I like to think I have guardrails set up, but in this last year, I realized that I'm not very good at setting them up. In fact, most of the time, they're beyond the ledge, like they're floating in the air with more than enough room for me to fall off the ledge and not even feel the guardrails.
So, my thoughts as I travel through two states I've never visited before (New Mexico and Arizona) are:
What are the specific guardrails that I need to set up in my life?
What ledges are NOT okay for me to walk along and why?
Why do I KEEP walking along or falling over those lines that should be defined so clearly?
I got into OKC around 10p last night. I'm just on the eastern edge of it - the first set of cheap motels I saw and I turned in. I had several to choose from, so I went with the lowest advertised price with WIFI. I love shady motels. There's really nothing more entertaining than laying in bed and wondering if you'll end up with lice or fleas or bed bugs :P
Anyway, yesterday's drive was a looong one. I headed out after stopping back at the hotel (you know my main contact that wasn't answering his phone? he finally called back! Haha!) I got out of Indiana and into Illinois before I even made my first pit stop. As I got closer to St. Louis, Missouri, I loved seeing the arch mark its entrance to the west. I got so excited to go into "The West" that I almost ran into the car in front of me. Apparently traffic was backed up like woah.
The entrance into "the West" isn't very exciting when you're sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. In case anyone's traveling into St. Louis, there's major construction - be prepared. In fact, there's major construction happening in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Oklahoma. It's a good time :P
As I headed into the Ozarks, I stopped to take a break at the World's Largest Rocking Chair. Things like that make me smile.
Oklahoma has been a series of turnpikes, which is fast travel, but you gotta pay for it. I've coughed up $4 twice now and I think I'll have to do it again. Thank goodness I remembered to get some cash out just in case :P
Today, I'm headed as far as I can - with Flagstaff, AZ as my goal.
*****
Yesterday, as I was going up and down and around in the Ozarks, there was a moment of fear that struck me. The speed limit was 60 or 65, i can't remember. Whatever it was, I was going a little bit faster than that. I went around a curve and saw that there was quite a drop off the ledge. Not a big deal, it's the Ozarks, right? Well the kicker? There was NO GUARDRAIL! One mistake could have sent me over the edge and barreling down into the unknown. The only thing keeping me on the road was my responsible driving (maybe less responsible since I remember I was speeding just a bit) and faith that I was going to stay on the road.
How many times have a walked along the ledge of life, though? I'm not talking about taking a leap of faith of the edge into the great pool of promise that God has given us. I'm talking about the times when I push the limits. Those times that I go through life speeding just because I can. Those times I think "this is more fun than playing it safe" or "most people call it stupid or irresponsible, I call it adventurous" or "this will make me happy for the moment, I'll deal with consequences later"... etc.
I like to think I have guardrails set up, but in this last year, I realized that I'm not very good at setting them up. In fact, most of the time, they're beyond the ledge, like they're floating in the air with more than enough room for me to fall off the ledge and not even feel the guardrails.
So, my thoughts as I travel through two states I've never visited before (New Mexico and Arizona) are:
What are the specific guardrails that I need to set up in my life?
What ledges are NOT okay for me to walk along and why?
Why do I KEEP walking along or falling over those lines that should be defined so clearly?
Sunday, August 21, 2011
No Room in the Inn
Greetings from Denny's in Evansville, IN
at 1:15 last night, I rolled into this town. It wasn't exactly on my way, but going about 10 miles out of my way to go where I know somebody is worth it in my book. I made pretty good timing considering I didn't leave until after 7:30p from Zeeland, MI... AND I made a wrong turn!
Anyway, yesterday was grand. It was great to see the video of Jeff and Chelsea's wedding and to celebrate with them (they were married in Iowa, where Chelsea is from). Matt (yes, the one from Hungary) was there, too, and I never expected that one year after getting back from Budapest, we would be united for this purpose. So crazy!!! but God sure does have plans for each of us.
The travel from Zeeland, MI to Evansville, IN was purely purposeful. The goal was to just GET there and get Indiana out of the way. The roads were interesting and became less and less populated as the night went on, which made it interesting. I managed to avoid hitting a HUGE deer... and survived stopping for gas in the middle of nowhere (it was sketchy like woah!).
Then I arrived. My "people" in Evansville, IN are actually people from Detroit. A bunch of DIRECTV technicians are down here working. I have never met them, but as with many, many of the technicians I worked with, we developed good friendships over the phone. I had planned to meet up with at least one of them just chill for a minute. Unfortunately, I arrived and my contact person didn't answer the phone. I get in contact with another technician and met him outside and chatted a bit. Because everyone seemed to be asleep, I decided I would just see if there are any rooms available and make plans for breakfast in the morning instead. And... that's when I heard those words:
*****
"I'm sorry, there are no rooms available."
I felt a bit like Mary and Joseph. I'd traveled a long way (okay, I didn't walk or ride a donkey, but it was still tiring!) and when I arrived, I found myself without a safe place to stay for the night. I was faced with a decision - drive although tired from motel to motel searching for an empty room.... or crash in the car. Well, friends, yes, I slept in the car. I folded down my seats and sweated away some Zzzz's while listening to people come and go from the hotel.
What a perfect way to begin the trip!
A wanderer without a home - this has more and more become reality for me. I will probably never "own" a home - or at least never have a clear understanding of what "home" means.
So, what does "home" mean? I'm at a point in my life where I don't feel like I have a home. Geographically, I live in Grand Rapids; I work in Kentwood; I was raised in Saranac... but I have often made the comment that Ang and I just re-signed our lease, making this the longest I've lived in one place since 2006. That's 5 years of moving every year. That's 5 years of never having a sense of permanency. That's 5 years of wandering.
Emotionally, a home is a place where I feel unconditionally loved, accepted for who I am, a sense of belonging and purpose... and a place where I just fit in.
This Denny's is not my home. The waitstaff are great, but I have been frustrated by the comments from other patrons. I probably stink a bit (no showers in my car :P), my hair is a mess, and I came to breakfast with my laptop instead of my family. I don't fit in here...
... but then again, I don't feel like I've fit in anywhere for the last year. One job made me angry all the time... the other made me emotionally tired, even though I love it. I fell out of love with myself and made decisions that have hurt. I've put myself in situations that don't prove my self-worth. I'm not HOME.
So, my pondering for the day, as I finish this coffee, load up on gas and hit the road toward Oklahoma City...
"How do I accept the place where I am as home?
How do I create a HOME environment for myself?
And if where I am now isn't my home, where IS my home?"
at 1:15 last night, I rolled into this town. It wasn't exactly on my way, but going about 10 miles out of my way to go where I know somebody is worth it in my book. I made pretty good timing considering I didn't leave until after 7:30p from Zeeland, MI... AND I made a wrong turn!
Anyway, yesterday was grand. It was great to see the video of Jeff and Chelsea's wedding and to celebrate with them (they were married in Iowa, where Chelsea is from). Matt (yes, the one from Hungary) was there, too, and I never expected that one year after getting back from Budapest, we would be united for this purpose. So crazy!!! but God sure does have plans for each of us.
The travel from Zeeland, MI to Evansville, IN was purely purposeful. The goal was to just GET there and get Indiana out of the way. The roads were interesting and became less and less populated as the night went on, which made it interesting. I managed to avoid hitting a HUGE deer... and survived stopping for gas in the middle of nowhere (it was sketchy like woah!).
Then I arrived. My "people" in Evansville, IN are actually people from Detroit. A bunch of DIRECTV technicians are down here working. I have never met them, but as with many, many of the technicians I worked with, we developed good friendships over the phone. I had planned to meet up with at least one of them just chill for a minute. Unfortunately, I arrived and my contact person didn't answer the phone. I get in contact with another technician and met him outside and chatted a bit. Because everyone seemed to be asleep, I decided I would just see if there are any rooms available and make plans for breakfast in the morning instead. And... that's when I heard those words:
*****
"I'm sorry, there are no rooms available."
I felt a bit like Mary and Joseph. I'd traveled a long way (okay, I didn't walk or ride a donkey, but it was still tiring!) and when I arrived, I found myself without a safe place to stay for the night. I was faced with a decision - drive although tired from motel to motel searching for an empty room.... or crash in the car. Well, friends, yes, I slept in the car. I folded down my seats and sweated away some Zzzz's while listening to people come and go from the hotel.
What a perfect way to begin the trip!
A wanderer without a home - this has more and more become reality for me. I will probably never "own" a home - or at least never have a clear understanding of what "home" means.
So, what does "home" mean? I'm at a point in my life where I don't feel like I have a home. Geographically, I live in Grand Rapids; I work in Kentwood; I was raised in Saranac... but I have often made the comment that Ang and I just re-signed our lease, making this the longest I've lived in one place since 2006. That's 5 years of moving every year. That's 5 years of never having a sense of permanency. That's 5 years of wandering.
Emotionally, a home is a place where I feel unconditionally loved, accepted for who I am, a sense of belonging and purpose... and a place where I just fit in.
This Denny's is not my home. The waitstaff are great, but I have been frustrated by the comments from other patrons. I probably stink a bit (no showers in my car :P), my hair is a mess, and I came to breakfast with my laptop instead of my family. I don't fit in here...
... but then again, I don't feel like I've fit in anywhere for the last year. One job made me angry all the time... the other made me emotionally tired, even though I love it. I fell out of love with myself and made decisions that have hurt. I've put myself in situations that don't prove my self-worth. I'm not HOME.
So, my pondering for the day, as I finish this coffee, load up on gas and hit the road toward Oklahoma City...
"How do I accept the place where I am as home?
How do I create a HOME environment for myself?
And if where I am now isn't my home, where IS my home?"
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Packing
This is the longest trip I've packed for since Hungary. Thankfully I'm not leaving for a year, again, but there's still a lot of stuff to pack.
I have to think about personal hygiene and that brings up "where and when will i shower?"
I have to think about temperature and what I'll wear and that brings up "who will I see and where will I visit and what's appropriate?"
I have to think about entertainment and that brings up "how do I want to fill my mind as I journey?"
I have to think about money and that brings up "what do I limit myself on and where should i splurge?"
I have to think about food and snacks and beverages... and that brings up "how can i not gain 30lbs because i'll just be doing a whole lot of sitting and munching?"
I have to think about safety and making sure I have emergency stuff and that brings up "how can i make the most of this trip while doing my part to make sure that I am safe? I know God's got me in the palm of His hand, but I'd rather not be stupid :P"
I have to think about directions and maps and a GPS... and that brings up "how can i see everything while pacing myself?"
I'm so excited to finally be doing this. I remember when I first made the decision to go. I remember when the choice was between going to the Dominican Republic resort for Thanksgiving or going on this massive roadtrip. I remember when I first made my list and thought, I really want to see the Grand Canyon before I die... so why not now when I'm young? I remember making the decision to travel alone and how many disappointed people there were.
:)
I can't wait until this trip is a memory!
I have to think about personal hygiene and that brings up "where and when will i shower?"
I have to think about temperature and what I'll wear and that brings up "who will I see and where will I visit and what's appropriate?"
I have to think about entertainment and that brings up "how do I want to fill my mind as I journey?"
I have to think about money and that brings up "what do I limit myself on and where should i splurge?"
I have to think about food and snacks and beverages... and that brings up "how can i not gain 30lbs because i'll just be doing a whole lot of sitting and munching?"
I have to think about safety and making sure I have emergency stuff and that brings up "how can i make the most of this trip while doing my part to make sure that I am safe? I know God's got me in the palm of His hand, but I'd rather not be stupid :P"
I have to think about directions and maps and a GPS... and that brings up "how can i see everything while pacing myself?"
I'm so excited to finally be doing this. I remember when I first made the decision to go. I remember when the choice was between going to the Dominican Republic resort for Thanksgiving or going on this massive roadtrip. I remember when I first made my list and thought, I really want to see the Grand Canyon before I die... so why not now when I'm young? I remember making the decision to travel alone and how many disappointed people there were.
:)
I can't wait until this trip is a memory!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Massive Road Trip!!!
Because I will be "On a Journey", I will post my blogs from my roadtrip on here. I'm super excited about it and can't wait for the plans to actually happen :D
August 20 - First stop is Zeeland, MI for Jeff and Chelsea Lampen's Michigan Wedding Reception.
The next stop is Evansville, Indiana to meet up with a couple of techs from Detroit who traveled there to do some work.
August 21 - The next stop will be Oklahoma City, Oklahoma to have dinner with Ann Marie, a girl whom I've never met but have communicated with for the last few years via livejournal and facebook.
I will probably crash somewhere in OKC for the night and get a good night's sleep before continuing on.
August 22 - The next stop will be Flagstaff, Arizona, where I will hopefully stay with some couchsurfers. I just got turned down by some couchsurfers, so hopefully I can find someone else.
August 23 - Drive about 2 hours, stop for a lemonade, and go sit at the Grand Canyon. I don't have anything planned except to just take in the scenery, see what my options are as far as tours, and rest. I have accomplished the goal for the journey if I make it this far.
In the late evening, I will travel on toward Kingman, Arizona, where my aunt lives.
August 24 - I will hang out with my aunt and her roommate/partner for a few hours, then hop in the car and head toward Phoenix, AZ. After a 4 hour journey into the city, I will re-meet my uncle, aunt and cousin... and meet for the first time a couple of my cousins. I am nervous about this, but I am also excited! It's time I acted like an adult and made time in my life for my family, near and far.
August 25 - I'll be headed out rather early to get to Dallas, TX. Mike moved here about 6 months ago and I miss him very much. I can't wait for him to show me around his new life and just... be with him and his family :)
August 26 - After dinner, I'll be headed to Shreveport, LA. This is where I'll meet Chris, a Multiband technician that I became friends with a long time ago. We've never met in person, so this will be a bit nerve-wracking, but also fun :)
August 27 - Today will be spent hanging out with Chris. He took the day off work and I'll probably be sleeping! :P It should be a nice, relaxing day. We'll probably even go see a movie that night :) Nice and chill...
August 28 - I'm taking off very early in the morning toward Chicago, IL. I hope to stop along the way and go to a random church. I am very much looking forward to those random church visits. My final destination is Emily's apartment in Chicago :)
August 29 - Homeward bound. :) The goal is to have the rental car cleaned and back at Enterprise by 2p.
August 20 - First stop is Zeeland, MI for Jeff and Chelsea Lampen's Michigan Wedding Reception.
The next stop is Evansville, Indiana to meet up with a couple of techs from Detroit who traveled there to do some work.
August 21 - The next stop will be Oklahoma City, Oklahoma to have dinner with Ann Marie, a girl whom I've never met but have communicated with for the last few years via livejournal and facebook.
I will probably crash somewhere in OKC for the night and get a good night's sleep before continuing on.
August 22 - The next stop will be Flagstaff, Arizona, where I will hopefully stay with some couchsurfers. I just got turned down by some couchsurfers, so hopefully I can find someone else.
August 23 - Drive about 2 hours, stop for a lemonade, and go sit at the Grand Canyon. I don't have anything planned except to just take in the scenery, see what my options are as far as tours, and rest. I have accomplished the goal for the journey if I make it this far.
In the late evening, I will travel on toward Kingman, Arizona, where my aunt lives.
August 24 - I will hang out with my aunt and her roommate/partner for a few hours, then hop in the car and head toward Phoenix, AZ. After a 4 hour journey into the city, I will re-meet my uncle, aunt and cousin... and meet for the first time a couple of my cousins. I am nervous about this, but I am also excited! It's time I acted like an adult and made time in my life for my family, near and far.
August 25 - I'll be headed out rather early to get to Dallas, TX. Mike moved here about 6 months ago and I miss him very much. I can't wait for him to show me around his new life and just... be with him and his family :)
August 26 - After dinner, I'll be headed to Shreveport, LA. This is where I'll meet Chris, a Multiband technician that I became friends with a long time ago. We've never met in person, so this will be a bit nerve-wracking, but also fun :)
August 27 - Today will be spent hanging out with Chris. He took the day off work and I'll probably be sleeping! :P It should be a nice, relaxing day. We'll probably even go see a movie that night :) Nice and chill...
August 28 - I'm taking off very early in the morning toward Chicago, IL. I hope to stop along the way and go to a random church. I am very much looking forward to those random church visits. My final destination is Emily's apartment in Chicago :)
August 29 - Homeward bound. :) The goal is to have the rental car cleaned and back at Enterprise by 2p.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Leaving Again... but only for 10 days :)
I'm going on another solo journey. Please join me as I travel across the United States to see the Grand Canyon.
Along the way, there will be times of visiting with friends, meeting with new friends, reuniting with family after many many years and a chance to rediscover our nation and myself.
I'm really excited to leave on August 20th.
Please join me on THIS journey with the creation of a mixed CD - choose whatever music you'd like me to listen to and I will send you a postcard from the state in which you enlightened my journey :)
Along the way, there will be times of visiting with friends, meeting with new friends, reuniting with family after many many years and a chance to rediscover our nation and myself.
I'm really excited to leave on August 20th.
Please join me on THIS journey with the creation of a mixed CD - choose whatever music you'd like me to listen to and I will send you a postcard from the state in which you enlightened my journey :)
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